Destined to Die 3: Tears of Rejuvenation
by MayrisErin
Summary: With Gaia saved and Kuja alive, Terra thought things would go smoothly. That is, until her brother Ferris turns up missing and Julian's the culprit. To save her family, she must learn alarming truths. But first, she meets her god-complex of a grandfather.
1. The Protector of Justice

**_A/N: Ah, starting out I feel like this is a good chapter! :D_**

**_Welcome back to Destined to Die, the third installment "Tears of Rejuvenation"._**

**_I hate to say that a lot of you will dislike Terra's behavior in the beginning, but she'll be okay by the end, I promise. Not much to say other than I love you all! Flames welcome, MWAHAHA! I'll roast my marshmallows on them and make Final Fantasy S'mores, xD_**

**_I apologize for any typos, btw. Working on that still._**

**_-Mayris  
_**

**

* * *

**

"She's not breathing…" Vincent stood. He'd remained stoic until he noted this. In fact, he never stopped monitoring her vitals from the far side of the room. The cessation of her breath was too sudden.

He pressed a hand to her neck. No pulse. Wasting no time, he parted her lips, breathing air into her lungs.

Fingers lay softly over the right side of her chest and below her left breast. Closing his eyes, he focused until enough energy was gathered. Lightning flooded from his fingertips and disappeared into her chest, causing a jolt to physically shake her.

Kuja stayed closed, but listened to Vincent's instruction not to touch her as he sent the lightning through her system.

Her heart started on its own and remained at a slow, steady pace. Vincent hid his relief by briefly checking her other vitals before returning to his place by the door.

Fenn looked down. He couldn't do anything. All he had done was stand by idly while she died for that second. Vincent didn't appear to need aid though and he managed to normalize Terra's vitals. In all the hours of his new life, Fenn hadn't felt this terrible and useless until now.

Deryo didn't look over. He trusted that Vincent knew what he was doing. If he screwed up or was too late to save his sister, he'd rather not see. Rage wasn't a part of his initiation.

As for Kuja, his hands were shaking as they both embraced one of Terra's. For a single moment, her life had flickered away. The illusion that she would simply awaken and everything would begin for them as it should never left his thoughts.

She would wake up… right?

This nightmare would end… wouldn't it?

Terra Evans would laugh and talk. Share her mutual feelings of love and devotion. Allow him to hold and adore her. This wasn't just wishful thinking, wasn't it?

To let her go… was it possible for him to live with that? Move on without turning back toward regret? He had come back from his own tomb to join her in the life she returned to him.

Love another? Impossible.

No other would take her place. Not ever.

**~Tears of Rejuvenation~**

Dragons danced in a sea of silver streams. Diving from the zenith of limitless reach and then ascending from their nadir into the heavenless skies. A breathtaking sight. With the sun reflecting off their elegant wings, they looked like soaring diamonds.

This ritual was performed over and again. Every morning, just before dawn, they gathered to lift the sun's light upon their shimmering, scaly backs until it blazed in the horizon to the west. An odd sunrise. Like the world was flipped upside-down to allow such phenomena.

The sun was a gentle, green glaze that feathered through the ever-present clouds. Delicate streams bled through until the pure sunlight touched the pale fields of blue grass. The sky was always a gray-blue, if visible beyond the sheets of sky mist.

No threats. No wars. No power-hungry warlords preparing a bloodbath massacre.

There was order. Laws. Everything was comfortably governed by a higher, unseen power. Normality was achieved, but only to an extent.

As a black cloud grows from the center of my focus and engulfs everything with thick smoke and tiny peaks of fire, I grip my staff in horror and anticipation.

Another fight. I stand at the ready to face the same battle again. I lost count of how many times we fought, but the outcome depends on my will.

Today, I'm not strong enough. I have no motivation. For almost a week, I've allowed defeat to sweep over again and again. Each time, losing hurts a little more and I feel weaker from its reward.

Mateus's staff cut through mine, shattering it into hundreds of pieces. My palms and arms took the excess force of its breakage.

I stared blankly at the steel tip of a blade. His staff finished morphing and became the solid hilt of the blade.

The battle ended. I lost.

"Return to me," he commanded.

"I'm not yours," I glared.

He's not happy. Of course not. But one day, I hope he tires of these battles. It has been three weeks since these dreams started. I can only hope again and again that they end.

A ray of light pierces the smoke. The barrier started to fall apart around us.

Mateus turned to me with a growl. "Arbitrator!" A spell spiraled in my direction. Too late to block, its velocity tore into my arm.

"Thanks for the gift," I yelled, forcing myself to wake from the dream.

The world vanished a little more with each blink of my eyes. A cold sweat caked my body and a sharp pain gripped my arm.

Running my hand along the fresh cut, I sighed. Blood. Mother will not be pleased with the mess on the sheets. And if that wasn't bad, she'd be even more hysteric that I managed to get hurt in sleep. I couldn't very well tell her, could I?

I sat up, catching a faint line of light through my curtains. It was noon. She let me sleep in again.

Stretching, I winced, trying to ignore the pain as my arm tugged at the new opening of tissue. With a bit of time on my hands, I decided to hide the mess and made my bed.

I pulled on a long-sleeved shirt after washing up, dressing warm. It was the chilly spring months. I planned to map out more of this new world.

With my journals and hiking supplies packed, I left the room and was bombarded with the smell of pastries from the kitchen. I still hadn't gotten over the new aroma that accompanied its foreign taste.

Raylene rolled a new batch of dough over a cutting board and paused when I entered the room, leaving the metal rolling pin atop the mass. "Morning, Terra," she beamed.

"Hey…" I mumbled, going through the kitchen and making up a few sandwiches before packing them in my backpack.

"Are you heading out again?"

"Mhm." Food packed, check. Now to bolt. I made a beeline for the door.

"Do you have your locator spheres?"

"Yup."

"What about your compass?"

"Always."

She wrung her hands nervously. "Avoid the mines. They're dangerous and you could get lost."

"I know," I called out, slightly irritated. The lock finally gave and I pushed open the door.

"Vesper is in the sand fields. He wanted to give you something. Go see him."

Father? What did he have that would be of use? I exited without an answer. More intrigued with her last bit of news which was far more interesting than the same humdrum questions she always felt inclined to ask before I escaped her presence.

Not losing any time, I headed west. The sand fields were father's current study. He wanted to find a way to convert sand into crystals which might be used to conduct energy. I didn't know how chemistry worked here, so I didn't categorize him as mad… yet. He did seem to have his head up in the clouds now and then.

Thinking back, he was usually like this. But with feats that were actually possible. Like shaping weapons that would flow quicker against wind resistance. Or syntheses that would convert more stable elements into them with no chance of harming the wielder.

An array of gadgets littered the patch of yellow. I paused at the edge of grass, looking over to him.

"You wanted to see me." He was crouched beside a machine that highly resembled a spider.

Standing quickly, he bustled over with his arms full. I raised an eyebrow as he shifted the items from arm to arm until he held a book before me. "This."

I leafed through it. All the words were arranged in odd sentences, leaving incomprehensible gaps between the words and the illustrations. It was a book of garble. Thanks, dad. "What is it?"

He glanced toward the house and licked his lips. "Important."

"Sorry?"

"Read it."

Opening to a random page, I read aloud, "Soul's zenith starting over transcends the path beyond which takes without giving." I sighed. "What's it mean?"

He gave me a pleading stare.

"Can't you just tell me? I said I hate riddles over a week ago," I grumbled.

"You sound just like Ember…" He sighed, placing a hand on his head.

"I know…"

"Why won't you tell me what happened? How did you…?"

Noting his struggle, I finished for him, "Die? That's easy. I stopped living."

"You don't have to be a smart-ass." He glared which both scared and silenced my wit.

"It's not something I want to talk about. Now what's this book for?"

Reluctantly, he told me. "A puzzle."

I could have thrown it at him. "Really?" Venom coated my voice.

"The meaning of the words will come to you. Just let it in."

Easier said than done. Manipulation taught me better. "What is it for?"

"Someone gave it to me. They told me to give it to you when or if you showed up in this world. Using that book, they want you to find them," he explained.

"Why?" Could it be a trap? What if Mateus had come here and this book was his challenge? Would he count my seeking of him as surrender? I glared at the book. "You need to tell me who gave this to you."

He shook his head. "I can only do so much."

I glared up at him. "Father, you must tell me. I don't' want to be caught off guard."

"I'm sorry, Terra."

"Fine. Then if I turn up missing, it's your fault," I spat.

"Why are you always so paranoid?"

"Why aren't you?" I turned away, clutching the book. "You and mother were murdered on Gaia. Why are you so carefree?"

A hand landed on my shoulder. "Why are you so bitter?" He pulled me back into a hug. "Fear is continuously biting at your heels. Why won't you say anything?"

Because there's no way you would ever understand, I thought. When I arrived here, I awoke so hopeful only to find I was in a different world. I still had much to do on Gaia. I wanted to live normally and raise a family. Fate took away my control. I never achieved peace. Even now, I feel I don't belong. This world is foreign and my heart won't stop aching for the reality I know. Every night I have nightmares about Mateus and I yearn so much for my beloved that I want to scream.

Of course I'm bitter.

But he couldn't know that. Not ever.

"Maybe the one who gave me that book can help you," he suggested.

"Yeah…" I started on my way, pulling from his reach.

It wasn't right to act so aloof with my parents. But I couldn't stifle this anger.

I walked until sundown. By then, I reached the cliffs that hung over the water's edge. The ocean lay out before me in its sickly green waves. My palms were scraped and bleeding from the climb.

Wind whipped about my face, sending my long, black hair in a messy flurry. Gazing over to another cliff, I gasped.

One of the black mages who resided here toppled over the edge, plunging into the violent waters! Why had he done that? He was alone too. Why? The death to fear in this place was soul destruction. Did he really want it all to end?

Did I want it all to end?

"You don't even know why you're here and you're already entertaining the thoughts of suicide," a man laughed behind me.

Before I could turn, a hand gripped my injured arm and pulled me up. I stood unbalanced on the rock. "Hey! Ow! Let go!" I flailed, trying to regain my balance.

The man looked up and raised an eyebrow. Shoulder-length blond hair fell in waves around his face. Green eyes pierced mine for a moment before he laughed again.

"Nice to see you again too!"

He pulled me up onto the even ground. Silver armor clamped around his muscular build. Its sheen luminosity nearly blinded my eyes even in the dark. "What are you talking about?" I raised my hand to block the sudden light.

He crossed his arms. "I feel insulted now. You don't even remember." With his eyes closed, he smirked. White wings appeared on his back.

I raised an eyebrow. "Nice trick." Sighing, I massaged my temples. "Sorry, there's a lot going on."

"Being the Arbitrator wasn't supposed to be fun…"

Fear leapt in my chest. I covered his mouth, pressing him against a rock and looking around. "Don't say that word aloud!" I hissed.

He cocked his head to the side, confused. I slowly pulled my hand away. "I hope you're better when you wake up."

"Huh? But I am awake."

"Nope. You're fast asleep."

"What are you talking about?"

He lifted up the book my father had given me. "Find the man this belongs to."

"Hey! Don't just take things from me!" I reached out to swipe it from him which caused him to lift it out of reach above my head.

"Why not? We _are _friends, aren't we?"

I growled. "I don't know who you are! Your antics are annoying."

He sighed. "Shall I act more serious then?" Stepping back, he drew a thick, crystalline blade. His warm, green gaze sharpened and his stance changed to a threatening lunge. His glare sent shivers through my back.

Drawing upon instinct, I grabbed for my staff. "You picked a bad day to mess with me."

"No," he started. The benign tone was replaced with a sharp iciness. "You need to quell your fury."

I ran forward, letting out a harsh battle cry. Bringing up my weapon, I was poised to smack the end of it across his face. Ready, I drew back and slashed out.

Before the hit could connect, he jumped out of the way and flew into the sky. His wings grew and carried him high above the ground.

A castle formed around him. Fragments of the dreams flickered back to me. That cold night. The crystal. And the warriors.

His name rushed to me like plasma in a storm. Ocean waves crashed behind me as spears of light shot toward me from behind the castle.

I screamed as they connected, sapping my energy until I collapsed. Wind swept the castle away, leaving Alexander rushing toward me.

"Convinced?" he asked apologetically.

"How…?" I asked, looking up at him.

He smiled. "Have you changed your mind then?"

I nodded. "I'll… give it a shot."

"And you won't behave so rudely?"

Nodding again, I said, "Yeah… I'm sorry…"

"Aye. That's good." He extended his hand to me. "Let's go see Ifrit. Shiva will want to meet up too."

"Eidolons?"

"Aye."

"Do they… always attack like this?"

He thought about it. "No. I just needed to knock some sense into ya."

"I thought all those visions were dreams…"

We started toward a large crest of rock where a cavern began. The sun had gone down when we started off.

"Time and place are strange phenomena, Terra." He started up the crest, reaching his hand out to assist my own ascension. "Like now, you're here. But you're still there."

"There?"

"Gaia. Back then, when we first met, well, when you were awake, your body had gone through something exhausting. You'd fallen into a deep sleep. Comatose, if you will. This is much the same. Just a different place. Back then, your consciousness had been transported into the past and you were back on Gaia."

"But… I was the Arbitrator before I woke up on Esthar, right?"

"Not really. You were… let's say… bequeathed as the Arbitrator when you hit celestial puberty."

"Why?"

"Cosmos had Terras come before you, of course. When they were born as goddesses, terrible things happened to them." Like terrible things hadn't happened to me. "The mother always died when giving birth. The subject's power was so concentrated that they… sucked the life out of their host."

"Oh…" I shuddered.

"Without nurturing parents, the goddess suffered greatly and lost the will to live at the final stage of their destiny. As is their nature, all of them ultimately blamed themselves for the loss of their mother. So much that they gave up on living."

"Why?"

"The heart of the woman selected is often empathetic or develops empathetic attributes as they journey through life. They weep when others weep. It is an emotional trial, really. I'm sure you know of the burden."

"Yeah…" I thought of Kraizule and Ultimecia.

"Cosmos decided she would try a different method. Instead of sanctioning the child at once, she would leave gaps in their souls to be prepared for the power which was to be used."

"Gaps?"

"Aye."

"Are they… harmful?"

"A little. But not life threatening. Fainting. Clumsiness. Impulsive actions. And, in some cases, memory loss and manipulation."

I felt like I'd been struck on the head. Coming over the crest, he held his hand out to assist my way down. I stayed at the top.

"Memory loss… manipulation?"

"Aye." He nodded.

How could he act so nonchalant? The worry must have been apparent on my face.

"Terra, memory loss and manipulation are normal. Humans experience it all the time in minor cases."

"How minor?"

He sighed. "They misplace things. Recognize a familiar face and realize that person isn't who they thought they were."

"Like when I forgot my mother's eye color?" I had mistaken Julian's eyes for being the same as my own mother's. He was in no way related to her. He had Aulin's eye color. The woman that came before Raylene. The woman whose nurturing spirit I had never met.

Alexander sighed. "Aye. Something like that."

Weight fell into my stomach, pulling me down and air choked my throat. "I've been cheated…" Even my clumsiness had been a real curse. I could have lived without that.

He shook his head. "You survived."

"I don't care!" A tear dripped onto the white rock beside my hand.

"Terra…" he called softly. Climbing back up, he sat next to me. His arm draped around my shoulders. I jumped. This comfort was foreign. Everyone always tried to stop my tears. Except Vincent. But he hardly interfered. Alexander pulled me to rest against his plated chest. "I know it hurts. When I found out that the best way to protect my kingdom was to become an Eidolon, I was terrified. I had a home. Someone I loved. I had to leave her behind. But… that was alright. When I became a stronghold, I could still hold her in my arms. And when she fell in love with another… I… was delighted. She found happiness. And she raised a wonderful family."

"But… you attacked everyone. How did you turn so angry?"

He sighed, looking to the sky. "The Summoners were experimental. They were trying to amplify my power as a complete defense system. But they were attacked all too soon. As a last resort, I was called into battle. But… even after the enemy was obliterated, I couldn't stop. And then… four warriors came to my rescue. They found the crystal that was the cause for my rage and broke it into four pieces, scattering it across the lands. Without the crystal, I was forced into sleep. Until I was reawakened, Alexandria fought her own wars."

"I see. I'm glad you were saved."

"You… I remember seeing you. You calmed me. The excess power I had was taken. The Arbitrator's power. You allowed the warriors to stop the devastation. I am grateful. Without you, I would have wiped them all out. I guess I returned the favor today."

I was at peace. Unknowingly, I'd done something useful. Alexander was probably the only one here that could bring me to this understanding. I couldn't help but smile.

"There! You're feeling better already!"

I rolled my eyes. "Can you tell me what an Arbitrator is?"

"Heheh… I could… but you'd enjoy hearing it from someone else. It's more fun to figure out things on your own then have someone tell you, aye?"

I sighed. Obviously, he would not be giving me an answer anytime soon.

We entered the cavern. Skeptical of its inhabitants, I stayed close to Alexander who led the way confidently.

On the way, I divulged my life's story. From ten years with my brothers up to the first day I woke up here. It wasn't pleasant.

I woke up in a forest with numerous red trees that raised high above the ground. The barren floor invited a strange balance between life and death I was eager to escape. From there, I just started walking, following the setting sun which was oddly to the east, I realized later. Ten minutes later, I was attacked by a wild beast. My strength wasn't enough to stop it. Everything I threw at it merely broke or bounced off.

I was saved by a man wearing a red mask with a steel spear. My father. I nearly had a coronary when he pulled the mask off.

He walked me to the cabin where he and mother lived. Along the way, he asked question after question. Vesper was never good with people. So my silence may have insulted him. But I didn't know what to say. To wake up here was terrifying. To meet my dead father was worse. I cried. But I did so in secret. He stopped pestering me for answers.

Mother grew protective of me the first two minutes after reassuring it was really me. I had to make excuses just to leave the house. Mapping the area satisfied her.

"You're life's complicated, lass," Alexander noted, moving a path of rocks with the swing of an arm.

"Where are we going?" I could barely see. The only light came from his armor.

"Ifrit often stays here. He's not subjective to trickery. Though, he appears scary and likes to put on an aloof façade, he's actually a big softie."

I had heard horror stories about the evil djinn. Julian used to recall stories of villages perishing under his wrath. "You sure it's a good idea to bother him?"

"Never said it was a good idea." He laughed.

Oh, thanks, Alexander. I rolled my eyes.

"The worst that can happen is for him to find us before we find him and then decide to test you."

I didn't want to be tested. I wanted to go home.

As we rounded a turn, the light disappeared. "Oh, no…" I said aloud. Alexander was gone. Great timing.

I ventured forward, searching the wall blindly. "Alexander?" I called, uncertain. Where had he gone? Great, this was probably the test he was just talking about.

Swallowing, I called out, "Ifrit…? Are you there?"

A growling laugh echoed around the room.

I pressed my back against the wall I knew was solid and looked about in the darkness and stilled my breath. If he tried to kill me, I could make my escape back out the way I came.

"I thought it was that red-eyed madman who had got lost on his way again. But this is even more of a delight. The Arbitrator." The voice growled again. Hunger. I could sense the bloodlust even from his unknown vantage point.

"Where is Alexander?" I asked, glaring down the darkness.

A roar emitted from before me. Hot breath bathed my face and I turned away, closing my eyes and readying for the lethal blow of a heavy claw. My hands gripped the uneven rocks behind me. Though I had better hope of going limp and allowing my body to move with whatever crushing blow came at me, I chanced broken wrists to still my fear.

Wind picked up and swirled around the air before a soft thud met the floor solidly. A tearing sound ripped through the air before the crackling of a warm fire reached my senses.

Cracking one eye open, I saw a shirtless man with light brown hair and a toned chest holding a red flame in his hand. "Well, hello there, Evans-kin."

I narrowed my eyes and struggled to return the hello.

Before I could answer, he continued, his brown eyes beaming. "Did you get lost along your way?"

"Where is Alexander? He led me here. I know who you are, Ifrit. You can't fool me with this humanistic façade."

He chuckled lightly. "Did you forget? I was human once too, little one." One of his large hands landed on my head as he ruffled my hair. "What an adorable little girl, you are."

I struggled to push his hand from my head. "I'm not little! I'm an adult you know, not a child."

"Oh?" Confusion crossed his face. "You still look like a little kid. And you smell of youth. At least you smell better than your patriarch."

"Vesper? What do you mean?"

He laughed. "The man reeks of blood! He's killed many in his lifetime."

"What…?" My father? A murderer? There was little I understood about things. Questions arose in my mind, unhinged by my imagination. But why should I believe this strange man I'd just met?

As if to answer that question, Ifrit smirked and brought a hand under my chin, moving to my ear to whisper. "Because he helped in the eradication of the Summoner's tribe. We've crossed paths. I would never forget his scent. And you smell just like him, my dear."


	2. Path to Transcend Death

**_A/N: Yay! Chapter two! I hope you're all still reading this. I noticed no one added it to their alert or favorites, but maybe you all have me under author alert or something, n.n; In any case, I hope this story gets to you. I don't want anyone to think that I died._**

**_I actually have more time than ever to write, but it's hard to get around to it because something comes up that I want to do. A household project or writing letters to friends-yeah, I use the almighty snail mail, ftw-and sometimes I'm just so terribly lazy that I don't want to write, :p Mostly the fact that I'm starting a book of my own and I don't want to put it on the shelf. I want to complete it. So yeah. Trying to push past the fresh start feel._**

**_I need more notebooks! I'm running out! I write out each Destined to Die chapter on notebook paper and then type it up upon completion. Sometimes a little before because I can wing the rest. Hence why you often see numbers in the text. I don't look at the screen when I type. I'm reading it off of my draft, n~n;;; I'm so terribly old-fashioned, but that's what keeps Destined to Die going, xD_**

**_While I'm at it... I'll advertise! :DDDDDDDDDDD_**

**_BUY AND READ THE "FAERIE WARS" SERIES, BY HERBIE BRENNAN! He is super nice and his writing is crisp, clear, easy to follow, and very entertaining. If you're into fantasy, mythology, adventure stories, especially the type that clash with our own world, then this IS an awesome book to read._**

**_He currently has five books out for the series:_**

**_1. Faerie Wars_**

**_2. The Purple Emperor_**

**_3. Ruler of the Realm_**

**_4. Faerie Lord_**

**_5. The Faeman Quest_**

**_I told him I'm going to tell as many people as I could about the series. I want him to write more books for it. It's one of my favorite series along with Artemis Fowl and Harry Potter. Also, Brennan is a friend of Eoin Colfer, The author of "Artemis Fowl". I actually bought the book because Eoin reviewed it on the back cover. Then I found Brennan and Colfer on facebook. They're both really nice people and Brennan actually gave me some advice for my writing. Please read and support his series, n_n_**

**_Support Eoin Colfer too! I hear he has another book out for his series. I'm two books behind now, but I will catch up._**

**_Just some recommended reading for all you wonderful people! I love books both reading and writing. So yeah! :D_**

**_Love you all!_**

**_-Mayris  
_**

* * *

Eradication of the summoners? He had to be mistaken.

Ifrit pulled away and dropped his hand from my chin. Sharp fingernails brushed my skin as they passed. He smiled to me.

"My father has killed no one," I stated.

"That you know of. It was long before you were born. Before any of the Evans-kin were conceived."

I shook my head. "He isn't the type of person to take the life of another."

"Your stubbornness is amusing. And your naivety keeps you blinded." He turned away. "You've failed. Until you open your eyes to the truth, you'll never be prepared for the fight ahead."

Following him, I placed a hand on his shoulder and moved before him. "Listen, you can't just spring these accusations at me like they're harmless and expect me to believe you. I hardly know you. I don't trust anything you say. Everything you tell me will be closely speculated before I decide what's right. I need time to take it in."

He glared. "Time is limited. The longer you are here, the higher the chance that you'll remain a permanent fixture in this world. And if that happens, then Gaia suffers once more at the hands of evil."

"I've already done my job."

"No," he snapped. I drew my hand away and stepped back. "Your work is incomplete. You must return to Gaia. You must wake up and live. Do not give in to the death of this world."

"He's right, Terra." Alexander stood behind me.

"Where have you been?" I glanced back.

"I went to look for Shiva. Ifrit told me to leave you here while I did so." He sounded cheerful. "Ifrit, this book has our next destination in its pages." He held up my book.

Ifrit's gaze leveled to Alexander and then fell to the book. "Is that right?'

"Aye. We're headed south."

"Alright. Where's Shiva?"

"Outside."

Before I knew it, we exited the cave. Most of the trail was a blur. Too many winds turns and crossing paths to remember. I was glad to finally feel the fresh, night air pour over my face.

Just past the entrance, a woman with long, dark hair and sharp, blue eyes waited. Arms crossed. Her hair was tied back in an array of thick braids that trailed behind her like a soft curtain.

"Are you ready to depart?" Her accent was rich and full. A dialect I'd never heard before. It pleasantly matched her grace.

Realizing that her question was directed to me, I nodded. She smiled and turned toward a large mountain pass ahead.

As she walked, the ground seemed to float beneath her. An illusion that she walked on the air. I followed first with Alexander and Ifrit in tow.

Most of the journey was silent as we trekked up the mountain trail witch was covered by an ash-colored path lined with trees and bushes. I finally broke the silence with a question.

"Who am I going to meet?"

No answer. Everyone just continued on their way.

Scowling, I stopped. "This isn't a trap, is it?"

Alexander sighed. "It all depends."

I turned to him with a glare. "On what?"

"If you would consider meeting this person as a danger. They obviously want to speak with you. Otherwise, no instructions would be issued."

"You don't know if speaking is all this person wants. For quite some time, I've been pursued because of my power."

He shook his head. "Let me put it this way. They probably won't attack you right off even if they want your power. It's a bit more complicated with taking over someone's control, power, or even body here than on Gaia. It's hard not to completely lose the person in question, not to mention the self."

"Lose the person?" I raised an eyebrow.

"This place is filled with souls. Resting or otherwise active. Considering the thickness of life, to link another life to oneself could result in one or both parties dying." He spook too cheerily about death.

"You haven't answered my question, Alexander."

"No?'

"Is this a trap?"

Closing his eyes, he turned away. "Aye, lass. It is. But maybe you need to be caught in it to decimate your hopelessness."

**~Tears of Rejuvenation~**

Kuja sighed. Two days had passed and he remained restless. Every attempt he made to sleep earned him another hour of insomnia.

Absently, he rand his hand over her forehead, leaving a black curtain of disheveled hair. Still her breaths came in slow, steady strokes. Her heart ticked in its serene pace without flaw.

Someone knocked lightly on the door before entering. Kuja couldn't pull his tired gaze away to see who entered. If he did, he was afraid Terra might change to dead or living in the twinkle of a moment.

Queen Garnet set the bowl of water on the bedside table. She then sat on a stool opposite of Kuja, dipping a cloth into the liquid.

She noted his drooping eyelids and pallor skin. "You need rest," she ordered.

He shook his head, eyes unmoving.

"And nourishment." She noted the untouched lunch one of the servants had delivered.

This time he didn't gesture.

Sighing, Garnet pulled the cloth out of the bowl, squeezing out the excess water until the cloth remained damp. As she lifted Kuja's hand from Terra's forehead, she stared as he clutched her hand. He bowed his head, shaking.

Garnet's expression softened and she gripped back, offering a little comfort as she dabbed the cloth over Terra's face.

"I'm still looking for a spell to rouse her. In the meantime, I've sent for Beatrix. And of course, Steiner caught wind of her plans to visit and graciously invited himself. Though, I bet he's more eager just to visit Lindblum for some Gysahl Pickles." She smirked. "Deryo just left for Burmecia. And Ember… well… I haven't seen him so… lost. Aunt Hilda will be visiting later after a meeting with—" She stopped. His hand was shaking. It took only a moment for her to realize the sound of his weeping. "Umm… Kuja…" Garnet stood and rushed to his side. Placing a hand on his shoulder, she coaxed him to calm.

Zidane reached for the doorknob. The Regent told him Garnet went to see Terra. He had wonderful news to tell her! Realizing the door was partially open, he peeked through the crack. Garnet was holding onto Kuja.

It felt as if he stepped off the cable car and missed the platform. Backing away from the door, he ran back through the hall, as far away from the guest room as possible.

**~Tears of Rejuvenation~**

_A songbird searches for the perfect melody held by its destined mate. Together, they ride the stars with their music. Unattainable desires become second nature. The two distinct melodies form one voice that stretches over time and space so that the two can be joined despite distance and duration._

_Yet, two perfect melodies may have not taken chance to join. When a songbird's melody is incomplete at a time when they hear the voice of their destined companion, they lose themselves to despair. Adversely, when two joined songbirds are separated, they either lose the will to live or fight until their reunion._

_For these two birds, it's a special case. One is fighting. While the other is slowly giving in… In this instance, the two will meet halfway in their decisions. And only fate will tug at the strings of reunion or despair._

_Accounting for their strength, fate is in their favor._

**~Tears of Rejuvenation~**

"Ow! That hurts!" I snapped, pulling at the rope that was currently being wound around my wrists.

"You will not run," Ifrit warned, crossing his burly arms.

Why was everyone insisting that I would run? Just because it was a trap didn't mean that I would turn tail in fear. Preparations would only be taken place. It didn't mean I was going to back out. But I guess this was the trap in question.

"Thought I had a choice."

Alexander tightened the last knot and got off my back, pulling me up by my bound hands until I stood. "I told you it was a trap, lass."

My assumption was right. The eidolons were the bait. False security. How interesting. Why would the eidolons ally with anyone? "Traitor!" I spat, moving to ram my shoulder into his chest. Stupid move.

Pain rang up my neck and down my fingertips. Curséd reflective armor!

Shiva placed a hand on my shoulder. "We must get moving," she prompted warmly.

"Untie me," I suggested.

She looked to Ifrit who chuckled. In a single move, the world spun until I was lying over his shoulder, watching the world bounce up and down with each of his heavy steps. I was forced to watch Alexander's insidious grin mock me the whole way.

"You're the worst," I grumbled.

"You'll get over it." He waved my complaint away.

Hours ticked by. I'd actually managed to get a little sleep. How far had we trekked? Sunlight peeked through the tree trunks. Surely we were almost to the top by now. The wind was getting colder by the second. Even my long-sleeved shirt wasn't enough to block out the windy summit.

Fortunately, each time the wind blew, Ifrit sent a heat wave to dispel the cold. Unfortunate that I relied on him for warmth. These… Eidolons… were my enemies. Or was my paranoia really too deep? Didn't they know what I'd been through?

This was becoming frustrating! They probably had no idea! I hated feeling betrayed. I hated feeling defenseless. And I hated being dragged into a trap! How could I be so stupid? The enemy was outwitting me already!

Just as I was contemplating any possible escape, we stopped. Ifrit pulled me from his shoulder, setting me down carefully. With one swift move of Alexander's sword, the rope severed. I stood next to Shiva. It was then I noticed a large castle looming over the edge of a drop. It seemed highly unstable.

"We can not venture any farther. But you won't be able to escape until you've faced that which you fear most."

Alexander handed me the book. It was open to a map. "Your destination is in the center." He pointed to a large, black star.

As I gazed at the map, the dawn faded. Shiva, Ifrit and Alexander no longer stood behind me. As I looked closer at the star, it palpated in a rich, blue glow.

The book vanished. Circular, crimson platforms lined the floor of an endless, black abyss. Light fell in indigo prisms from above.

I started forward. The platform beneath me broke. Stifling a yelp, I jumped to the next. That one crumbled as well, taking me with it. My startled cry rang in echoes down the vertical corridor.

Then it happened. I plunged seventy feet into a bottomless body of water. My scream only earned me a mouthful of the bitter liquid which surged in and tore against my lungs.

A voice rang out around me. _"She is at the cape, waiting to reveal her love. How unfortunate that the tides dragged her to the snares of death. Never will she rise and declare the truth of her passion to the infamous Angel of Death! That same Angel I crafted and destroyed. Until you interfered and corrupted my planning, Terra Evans!"_

The water pulsed through my chest, burning through the fine walls of tissue holding my lungs together and erupting into the chambers of my heart, swirling blood into a scattered mess. Then the calm came. An unexplainable nirvana.

My body relaxed and the strain vanished. Oxygen… I needed to breathe!

Just as my eyes started to close, the water drained. I knelt on the cold, dark floor of a large, grey cavern hacking up water. When oxygen penetrated my veins, I relaxed, hoping the nightmare had ended.

As I stood, the cavern dispersed. My mind reeled in anxiety of what was to come next. I winced, ready to summon my staff if necessary.

And then I was sitting in a large banquet room. Somewhere from the rafters, an opera played while a man sung a high tenor staccato. A large table set with fine china cropped with foreign food laid out before me. An elderly man with the darkest scowl imaginable, graying hair, wearing a menacing array of armor sat across from me.

He grinned knowingly. I already felt uneasy. Patiently, he waited. Was I supposed to say something? What could I say? I still shook from the underwater dive. I could have completely faded.

"Welcome, my grandchild! So good to finally meet you!" He spread his arms wide in exclamation. There was nothing welcoming in his tone.

"Grandchild?" I cocked my head to the side.

He picked up a rare piece of meat and unceremoniously tore a chunk off with his teeth. Chewing and swallowing, he continued. "You're the daughter of the notorious Raylene Tribal. Who knew you'd grow up to be the Arbitrator?" His dark gaze returned to me once more. This time with malice.

I had to grip my trousers to stay calm. This man was a Terran. Related to my mother, obviously. A horrific thought struck me liked iced energy. "Are you Garland?"

He laughed. "Well at least you're not too naïve. So… you know who I am. You also must know what I am capable of."

… The situation just got exponentially worse. Kuja warned me about Garland. Though he only explained so much that Garland would gain some kind of advantage from my existence.

When I said nothing, he gestured to the meal. "You won't insult me by glaring at all the food I had specially prepared for this occasion. Will you?"

"It's probably poisoned." I glowered.

"If I wanted you dead, I wouldn't have pulled you from the lake, would I?"

His questions were confusing and annoying. Why couldn't he just give me a straight answer? "What do you want from me?"

"No need to get defensive. We _are _family, after all. I want to talk. That's all. Get to know you."

I scoffed. "You had the eidolons capture me and bring me here just so we could chitchat over dinner? Unbelievable." Sitting back, I crossed my arms.

"You crave information. Your origin is shadowed with many tangled and stripped strands of confusion and skepticism."

"My origin is not important to me! I've lived just fine without knowing where I came from."

He sighed and put down his fork. "Everything is important. All or nothing. One leads to two. And light will always lead to darkness."

"You're insane…"

"Only sanity confuses wisdom."

Sighing, I threw my hands up. "Fine. I give. Tell me about my _origin_."

He smiled. "Raylene was made to be an ordinary genome. Just like the others. A mindless soul meant to wander the confines of her world and gaze into the blue light placidly. No thoughts. No dreams. No soul. But she was different. I knew each genome had a small part of them that separated them from one another, but nothing as prominent as her thinking. She had the ability to dream. And lie."

"Why does lying matter?"

"Because she lied to you."

I could have laughed. "Do you really think I'll believe that?"

He continued. "During her early years, she was quite creative. More so than she should have been. But I overlooked her creativity. That is until she commandeered an airship and took off for Gaia."

"She told me that someone else took her there," I countered.

"Lies. She left unattended. At that time, I was dealing Kuja, your… love interest." He scowled. "It was more efficient that I start over on the AoD project. I was planning out the modifications for Zidane. Though I managed to make contact with another world at that time, so I was able to reconfigure important connections with their help. Making alliances would be beneficial in the long run anyway. I'm sure you know." An image of Chandersin flashed across my vision.

How dare Garland tamper with my mind? I glared.

"Once I'd completed my project, it was snatched away to Gaia by Kuja. But it didn't matter. I refocused my attention on a peace treaty between Terra and Esthar. After a few years, I earned myself an assassin. I sent him to destroy Raylene. Her rebellion caused the genomes uproar. I had to brainwash each one individually. A difficult task. But my problems weren't over yet. Rumors of her kin roaming Gaia reached me. I searched for years and never found you. Now I have you and it doesn't matter anymore." He seethed silently.

"I'm not going to apologize for living. I've… learned a lot. Grown to accept the good things in life. I found love. And tasted bitter hatred. But also… I've finally realized that living is a wonderful gift. However, time is always limited and you never know when death will strike." I paused, taking a breath. "Grandfather… I can't imagine how it must have felt. Living as the last legacy of your race. Surrounding yourself with your lost comrades. But I know they wouldn't have wanted you to suffer alone. I don't blame you for your anger. Your mind is filled with ancient knowledge that seems terribly overwhelming. I… hope you find peace." I closed my eyes, letting him know I was finished speaking.

"You know nothing."

"You're right. I don't. But I'm trying to understand."

"A fruitless effort."

"I'm not looking for self-accomplishment."

"Then why press onward?"

"Why not? If there are two paths to choose from, I'll quench my curiosity by taking the most interesting. Despite my desire for normalcy."

"Foolish!"

"Maybe. But better than never knowing."

The silence pressed in again. He growled before commanding, "Eat your dinner."

I smiled and stabbed a foreign vegetable, chewing thoughtfully. It had a fresh taste with a lemon zing to it. Strange, but enticing. I didn't realize how famished I was until I finished up my second plate of food.

"You're a half-breed," he smirked.

I swallowed. "Pardon?"

"Terran and Gaian."

"Yeah. Weird consideration."

"The Blue Light will devour you for your impurity."

I sighed. "Y'know, I expected my grandfather to be a kind, old man who would talk lighter of my future and not bash me over the head with its probability of failure." Setting the fork down, I rounded my gaze on him.

He glared as if I uttered my first profanity. "You're extremely lucky that _I_ didn't capture Raylene when I had the chance. While she was still with child. I could have raised you to sacrifice Gaia to Terra."

"And I wouldn't resist because?" Was that his master plan?

"My word is law." He crossed his arms as if the statement would hush me. He was mistaken.

"My stubbornness is my law. I do what I want. With respect to my elders of course. But I am an individual. My mother's blood courses through my veins. I would defy you just as she did."

"Your harsh upbringing would have easily broken that," he smirked.

I slammed my fists on the table and stood. How dare he talk lightly of abuse before me? What in Gaia's name was wrong with him? "I'll not sit here and take your abrasive words!"

He stood as well. "What a disobedient child you are. Your family must be ashamed."

I laughed. "Ember? No way! He's a stubborn mule when it comes to anything. Shame would only waste his energy. Julian is too nice. Ferris supports my behavior. And Deryo just doesn't care. My parents are dead and more concerned how I've become a stoic wall. Honor isn't what keeps my family tied. Even if I became a criminal, they would never disown me. Everything I do is done with purpose and reason. How dare you accuse my family of such cold-hearted traits?"

Raising his wrist, he opened his palm in a claw toward my face. _"May words not pass thy heretical mouth."_

The weight of a spell settled in my throat. I didn't need to test my voice to know I'd been hit with a silence spell. Counteracting it crossed my mind. But it would depend on how much my magic was dampened here.

He lowered his hand and gave me a triumphant smile. I returned it with the dirtiest sneer I could muster. "That's better."

As he was about to continue his lecture, I turned from the room and reached the threshold only to have the doors swing shut. Jumping back before I lost my nose, I stared at the obstruction. First, I attempted to summon my staff. No luck. The castle dampened my abilities. Lifting the silence spell was not going to happen. Wonderful.

Stepping back a few paces, I readied my stance, glancing back at Garland to see him take a sip of wine. Turning back to the door, I stepped forward. My knee locked and I knelt. That was odd.

Everything spun as I staggered to stand. The ground cascaded until I was lying on my side.

Garland walked over. "It must have been the tea that had the sleeping weed. I don't drink tear," he chuckled.

"Maybe that's why you're such a grouch," I muttered, closing my eyes as sleep settled in thick layers in my head.

**~Tears of Rejuvenation~**

Chimes jingled softly in the breeze. The smell of rosemary permeated the air. What caused that strange scent? I sat up and caught sight of an herbal mixture on the bedside table. I was lying on a white cot adjacent to an open window in a crème-colored room.

I remembered where I was. Garland's lair. He was sinister despite our blood relation. He didn't treat me like his grandchild. Rather an enemy.

"Welcome back, Terra."

I froze. Despite the time since I'd heard that voice, there was no way I could forget it. The greater of two evils now stood in the room I had slept in. Joy… Bet he probably coated another spell on me. It was definitely in his nature. A taste of power kept bad habits alive.

"Hello, Chandersin," I answered casually.

He smirked. I could hear him smirk. See that annoying, little grin he wore every time he thought he was several steps ahead of me in some silly scheme he imagined I concocted. I didn't have to look up to know the little sod thought he was being clever. "Have a nice sleep?"

I grumbled, "Wonderful." Please leave, I thought. Catch the aloofness in my voice and go. The anger was already beginning to well up in vicious waves inside me.

Much to my irritation, he stayed. Leaning against the frame of the window. He wore black as usual with red and purple lining a martial uniform. His hair was tied out of his face for once. Golden eyes focused intently on me.

"Go away," I told him bluntly.

"Who's Mateus?"

I turned to glare at him. "Out."

He pretended to inspect his fingernails. "I was ordered to keep watch over you."

"I don't care. Leave."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Leave or I'll smash your face in." I stood, stretching.

He laughed. "Same response I'd expect from you."

"Sorry to bore you with my stalwart ways."

He walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder. I tensed, struggling very hard not to fulfill my threat. The crunching of his teeth against my knuckles would be very satisfying.

"What do you want? Make it quick or you'll also become impotent." I didn't know if it was possible to reproduce here, but I doubted he knew either.

He removed his hand. Surprising. "Your brother truly is a strong opponent."

I furrowed my eyebrows. "What are you going on about?"

"He defeated me. Ember, was it?"

I turned. "Ember is Orion?"

He nodded. "Well, he would have killed me if Vincent didn't shoot my brains out."

My mouth hung open. I blinked. Ember fought for me. I wish I could have seen it. And I should have known Ember was Orion. He bested even father in sparring. But father had left a deep scar on Ember's arm in his early days of training. Penance for poor blocking. Ember hardly allowed anyone cheap shots after that.

He passed on what he could to me and challenged me to escape different kinds of grapple holds before he let me venture alone in the city. I didn't have to tell him later that I let my skills slip.

I wished I hadn't been so against learning self-defense. But I didn't regret it because my life might have been very different.

Grappling would have saved me a lot of trouble. Fencing could have done more. I could have avoided being captured by Chandersin. And thus, water wouldn't terrify me as much as it did.

I knew water would be my trial to escape this world. To wake up. I thought of the black mage who fell into the ocean. The crashing waves must have torn him to pieces. Would the water push and pull until parts of me were torn off?

Chandersin shook me from my daze. "Terra!" he snapped.

Instinctively, I pushed his hands off. "Don't touch me!"

Obediently, his hands rested at his sides. "You were looking as if you were going to cry."

No, I was thinking about how much I want to throw you out the window, I thought icily. "Why do you serve Garland?" I asked instead.

"Old alliance," he sighed.

I shook my head. "Silly response. This is death. Do as you please. Or are you always striving to be the underdog?"

He growled. Just like one.

"Good. At least you have enough dignity to react to insults. Far less creepy than false generosity." I smiled.

"I never said my generosity is false," he countered.

Scowling, I crossed my arms. "Could have fooled me. After the number of times you made an attempt on my life. And it looks like heaven rejected you. Sorry I couldn't be your step stool."

He frowned. "Sorry for tearing open old wounds with my presence."

I ignored him. "Where is Garland?"

"The blue garden." He motioned to the window. "You can climb the trellis. If you leave this room through the doorway, the illusions will trap you."

"How can I trust you?"

"You asked. I answered."

He didn't say anymore. I kept an eye on him all the way to the window. Climbing out, I stepped down onto a crystal balcony. Over the railing, a silver trellis led into a garden of sparkling, blue plants that glimmered like gems.

After descending, I ran over a green-paved path of cobblestone. At the end, the path opened into a circular platform that looked over the peak of the mountain. Garland stood, looking over the railing.

Mental preparations set in my head in case I would need to fight him. I doubted the open air dampened my magic as much as the dining hall.

I waited at the center of the platform. He hung his head before turning, fixing his cold gaze on me. "Feeling better."

I failed to swallow my frustration. "Than what?"

"No more outbursts?" He cut to the fact of the matter, wanting me to obey. Leaning back against the railing, he waited patiently for my answer.

I chose my words carefully, averting my gaze to not allow him to intimidate me. "How did my father assist in wiping out the summoners?"

From my peripheral vision, I caught a smirk. "Ifrit told you?" His tone changed to amusement. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking down to me as if I were a subordinate.

"Yes." It was hard to swallow my pride.

"Would you like to see? Through your father's eyes?"

I opened my mouth and closed it. What was that supposed to mean? Was it possible? And would it compromise my own consciousness? I was already on the defensive in less than a second.

Taking note of my speechlessness, he pulled a crystal from his coat. "This will be in your possession when you awaken."

"How?" I took an involuntary step back.

He didn't answer. Instead, he tossed it to me. I reached out to catch it, but it bypassed my hands and sunk into my stomach, just below my diaphragm. "Y-you can't be serious!" I looked up, exasperated.

"Extraction shouldn't be too tricky. A knife and a skilled physician should take care of it." His grin widened.

As the desire to strangle him increased, he started to fade. I ran after him, but I was alone now. Skidding to a stop, the railing caught me in the stomach and I flipped over the side, gripping onto the platform. "GARLAND!" I screamed, sliding down to a column of blue vines that hung over the cliff.

At once, the world vanished beneath me, leaving me hanging above a raging sea.

My fingers grew numb as my grip tightened. I looked up to see that the platform had disappeared. Just the vines I clung to hung over the sickly sea.

Tears streamed from my eyes. Anything but this. Not water. I would have preferred ice. Fire, even. But I couldn't handle water.

My arms grew tired. Fatigue coupled with fear left my energy draining regardless of how much adrenaline rushed through. Sweat slicked my hands. Lightning blinded my vision and thunder deafened my ears.

Another shatter of energy struck my holdings and forced me to fall to the depths. My throat seared with a scream that was smothered by the crashing waves below. My vision blurred during the drop.

Inhaling before I sank deep into the water, the air was knocked from my lungs as the waves tossed me back and forth. Nothing was visible. Just darkness. Arms grabbed hold of my body, pulling it from all quarters. I struggled to push them off, but their grip became tighter and they pulled stronger. They only ceased when I gave up against their efforts.

My fear choked and smothered what energy I had left. At last, I surrendered to the will of Poseidon.

And then the terrible and frightening feeling of being swallowed by the pulling tides rushed over until everything was drawn into a heavy, black hole of silence.

_Hold on for me, my love._

_Don't lose faith in me now…_


	3. Saving a Falling Angel

**_A/N: Hello, everyone! I'm back! Forgot to mention a hiatus because I didn't expect it. Stuff has gone down... a very long, cumbersome drain. I'm not going to school for a while. On March 13th, my stepdad passed away which forced my mother and I to relocate to a new city where I know no one and everything is too perfect. This town is like Pleasantville. It's eerie. I'm waiting for a zombie invasion. One plus is that I live 20 minutes walking distance from the nearest park which has a lovely creek/pond. I'm a happy Mayris._**

**_Not only that... but I have a new bedroom in the house we're living in. Albeit I can't shut the door all the way and am always using books to brace the door closed, it's pretty decent. There isn't much room for my stuff yet as it is filled with a wall of books. Lots of books. An entire wall. And out of all of them I snagged a lovely treasure called "Stories from the Norseland". I'm a very big fan of Norse mythology. So... yeah..._**

**_On a more serious note, I've had to push this chapter out. Please let me know if I've butchered Kuja. I'm trying to remember how to play him without making him evil or killing him off. So... I'm going to do my best. Please flame me. I don't want this story to go to crap. _**

**_I wish you all a great summer! And I'll post the next chapter ASAP!_**

**_Thanks,_**

**_Mayris  
_**

* * *

My first breath was deep, painful, amazing, and agonizing. I exhaled in a slow sigh. A hand tightened around mine. At once, I recognized the feathery warm touch.

Kuja! I wanted to fling myself into his arms. The heaviness weighing my body refused to allow such movement. My mind screamed against this fact. He had to know I was awake. He _deserved _to know!

"Do you think it worked?" a stern-sounding woman asked.

What worked? I was awake if that's what she meant. Why wouldn't my mouth move to say so?

"Maybe you should try again." Another female voice. But this time kinder and softer. The sounds had a melodious tone filled with grace and respect.

"No," said the voice that could make my heart do somersaults. "Enough," he breathed. Cloth shuffled, followed by the scraping of a chair. Slowly, the warmth left my palm. "She won't wake up." He choked back tears.

Footsteps crossed the room. No! Come back! My thought flowed slowly, skimming against the tide of my fatigue. A door clicked open. I never heard it shut. The lone set of footsteps faded out of my hearing range.

I had to go. Had to chase after him. Run. These desires were anchored by my tired body. A strange weight rested beneath my diaphragm. It merely aided in my body's refusal to move.

I was a voodoo doll, pinned to a table; pricked in the chest over and over until my helpless sorrow overpowered my will to break free. And I knew I wasn't the only one who felt this way.

"Thou chainéd soul, find way to thy mortal dwelling," the stern woman chanted.

Warmth of energy washed over me, wrapping me in a coaxing embrace. The power dissolved my fatigue and pulled my mind from the tides. The world moved far too slow. I opened my eyes to see a woman clad in orange. She said in her melodious voice, "It worked!" Her joy was contagious.

I couldn't see shapes. Just color. The world was scattered in fuzzy masses. I sat up, rubbing my unfocused eyes.

No change. Without a word, I stood, walking on shaky legs, catching whatever I could grab onto. I was no longer in the garb I wore in death. A light nightgown flowed down to my knees, brushing against the back of my legs.

"Wait! Miss Terra! Please, don't push yourself!" The orange-clad woman placed a gentle arm around my shoulders, offering support.

Looking back to her, I said, "I must…" My voice cracked with a raspy finality.

"We can help you get to where you need to be!"

Shaking my head, I felt my way to the door. I could hear her footsteps trailing after me, but the other woman stopped her. "She'll be alright, Your Majesty. She's Vesper's daughter."

I could hear a reluctant sigh as I stepped into the hallway. Red and gold blinded my blurred sight. From the floor to the ceiling, the colors blended spectacularly in a beautiful pixilated array of wonder. I'd been blinded before in battle, but this was different. There was no darkness, just blur. A fascinating perspective. Whether or not it was a permanent change didn't matter. I would deal with it. I would deal with anything just to embrace him again. Even if the moment was transient.

My pace was far too slow. But I didn't know where I was or how to get anywhere. But… somehow… I knew. My feet walked forward, guiding me with ease.

Soon, I trusted my instincts to keep me balanced. Walking through a hallway and entering a large room, I stepped down a few stairs. A fountain trickled to my right. So I turned left.

Reaching the third floor by a steam-powered lift, I started on my journey. Ignoring every voice. Every question. Every person. Everything I passed didn't matter right now. Only Kujamattered.

Another two flights of spiral stairs and the cool, afternoon breeze caressed my face. Breathing deeply, I pressed on. One more row of stairs before I finally stopped at the threshold of a circular platform.

A lone figure stood upon the ledge. Arms spread like white wings, accentuated from his white, billowy shirt. Black trousers whipped in the wind around his leather boots. Feathery, silver hair danced over his back.

My vision cleared just for this image. The most beautiful sight I had ever seen. I witnessed an Angel. Not just an Angel of Death. But my Angel. _My _Angel of Life.

I climbed the ledge he stood on and buried my face into his back, holding him tightly around the waist. "Don't fly away yet. I still need you," I whispered.

My vision blurred again. This time with tears. I wouldn't let him go. Not alone. Never this way.

"You're… not a dream, are you?" His voice reverberated softly in the wind.

I shook my head. "I'm not a dream. I won't leave you."

He turned and pulled me into the warmest embrace I ever felt. Euphoria resounded until all other feelings drowned in its wake. No more sadness. Nor anger. Even hatred left without a trace.

Countless minutes rolled past. I refused to count them. They weren't real for this moment. Time would not take me from my greatest treasure. Even though I knew neither of us would go anywhere, I wouldn't chance interference.

We sat on the ledge now. My cheek rested on his shoulder. He kept an arm about my waist, clutching me close to him. "You owe me," he smirked.

"Really?" I looked to him with a raised eyebrow, coating my voice with sarcasm. "What makes you say that?"

"You left me waiting three days for you to wake up."

"Yeah? I waited two years for you to return," I challenged. "Plus, I had to save you from death."

"Did I not return that favor?" He smiled.

"Guess so."

His gaze softened and his hand carefully stroked my cheek. Drawing my chin up, he lightly pressed his lips to mine in a shaky kiss. The connection was stronger than the night back in Treno. A calm, but electric sensation that left my nerves tingling. It made me forget everything that surrounded us in a wave of comfortable distortion. With his arms around me and our connection completed in a simple kiss, I could briefly forget the world.

My lips parted for a moment and the kiss deepened. Despite knowing that my face probably resembled a ruby by now, I didn't dare break our connection. This was better than words. Words came too easily. Overused and sodden by lustful minds. This was real. And I didn't want it to end.

Though he never uttered a word, much less couldn't, the soft brush of his hand to push back a strand of my hair was enough for me to understand his feelings too. Simple and chaste moments within this intimate moment overshadowed what humanity had proclaimed as lust.

When we parted, I instinctively bowed my head, averting my gaze as I had done over and again in his presence. On cue, his hand raised my chin and he smiled pleadingly to me. "I want to finally gaze at your eyes without their protective shield." He referred to the changed color. Originally, my eyes were brown. It was the first time he could see them without the protection my mother had given.

"But—"

He moved his thumb over my lips, brushing over them and gifting them with a brief kiss. Our eyes met again and I tried to avoid the captivating glow of his irises; though now I knew mine had the same, distinct hue.

"The color doesn't change a thing. You've always been ideally what I've wanted. Even more so here." He pointed to my heart. "I'm actually curious as to how much you've changed in the past few years. Won't you tell me of your epic?"

"Epic? You mean nightmare." I chuckled.

"Any journey with you in it must be a wonderful dream."

"Only if you're there with me." I played with one of his hands. Slender and soft, but strong; they easily encompassed mine. His touch gave me a sense of protection, but his presence kept my heart pounding.

As I was about to tell him of my epic, he suddenly clutched my shoulders and stared hard at me. His eyes glinted with unshed tears. Pulling me into a tight embrace, he whispered, "I was ready to die before you came here. I couldn't stand seeing you like that. It seemed unfair I was living and you reduced to a coma. Not fair at all." He shook his head slowly.

Returning the embrace, I nuzzled into his neck, welcoming his comfort. After a moment, I started humming, running my fingers up and down his back, recalling the melody from so many years ago. The same song I'd heard during my attempts to revive him.

The smooth silk of his hair felt like cold water against my fingers. I could hear him breathe as he leveled a kiss to my cheek. Smiling, I squeezed him tight in the embrace. "Don't… run away from me again…"

He shook his head, placing a hand on my back. "No. I won't run again. Only if you promise not to go anywhere either."

"Of course… not without you," I grinned.

Pieces of the time we spent together before our separation years ago floated through my thoughts. The small moments of realization and comfort; the times when I felt I was complete in the simple motion of words or illustrations of actions. They all recollected in my thoughts. I smiled, holding him closer.

The warnings of my memories being manipulated crossed my mind. But none of that seemed to affect what I felt then. I remembered clearly those feelings I nourished and planted in his mind. I knew those moments were real and nothing would take them from me. Each detail of this man remained engraved in my mind. For now, I would not spoil this moment with the tale of my venture. Little exchanges were spoken between us; mostly sweet nothings of longing shared by one another during separation.

Time was lost to us. Awareness slipped from the moment and all I wanted to do was hold him and breathe; know I was living and not dreaming.

A toll sounded from the square; the second one, I think. Closing my eyes, I sighed. "We should go back inside…"

He pulled away to look me in the eyes. "I suppose you're right. Both of us are a little worse for ware."

We stood. My knees buckled beneath me. I hadn't realized until now how hard it was to stand on my own in such a state. He stopped my fall, gripping my shoulders carefully with one arm and holding onto my side with the other.

"Can't even walk on your own," he teased. "How'd you make it up here by yourself? Much less know where to find me?"

I couldn't explain that. But it seemed like the answer didn't matter as he started helping me down the stairs, keeping in stride as best he could. I noticed, for the first time ever, that he was stumbling just a little.

"Speaking of walking, look at who's having trouble…" I jibed. In response, he chuckled and pulled me closer.

We walked back through the hall, mostly catching up on the past few days' events. Not much had transpired since I had been knocked out cold. One thing that surprised me was the fact that both Nadya and Kraizule were here. I was eager to see them again.

After returning to our own respective rooms, I was met by the stern woman I woke up to. I thought she was about to admonish me, but her gaze softened. She was probably worried. Sighing, she shrugged. "Between you and the queen, I don't know who's worse."

"Queen Garnet?" I inquired. That was the only current queen I knew of that would be near Lindblum at this time. There hadn't been much word on Burmecia or Cleyra. At least I hadn't heard anything.

"Yes. Queen Garnet is just the same. Impulsive… But what could we do… you wouldn't listen. So we couldn't very well stop you."

"She was here?" My jaw dropped.

"Yes. Regent Cid called her away a few minutes ago. I waited here to see if you would return. And alas, you have. It's surprising. Most of her friends tend to run off and not return to where they should be." She pointed to the cot. "You're still tired. Why don't you rest?"

Tilting my head to the side, I cocked an eyebrow. "Why? I've been resting for two days."

"Two days without proper care to yourself. We had to use magic to keep you alive. After you eat something, you should rest to allow your body to reconfigure itself back to normal."

Disgruntled and huffy, I stomped to the cot. Yes, mother, I thought. It wasn't as bad as death though. I didn't have to worry about mother fretting like I was diseased. Besides, I knew this woman meant well and wasn't blaming herself if something seemed wrong with me. I turned only to see her smirking. I laughed.

It'd been an interesting day. Maybe a little laughter is what I needed now. I was home. And this time Kuja was too. What else could be better? Nothing. Not a damn thing. I was contented with this. But I wondered how long this would last. Blast, I would suck the life out of these happy moments just so I could remember them and feed off their nourishment in times when I was brought to my knees in sorrow. Isn't that why they existed? To remind us that there are times where happiness means the most? I'd been told that over and again in stories I'd read through the years. Now I felt even more open to it; connected even. It was a wonderful connection; wonderful and painful. But something I would never give up through all the terrible things I had seen. Not a chance.

After a meal and some much needed rest to rid of the fogginess of first waking up, I awoke to fingers running through my hair. And then was greeted with a kiss. Soft and gentle. Perfect. I rubbed my eyes and sat up. Kuja pulled me into a hug. "Have a nice sleep?"

"Felt like I just touched the pillow… but I feel better," I muttered against his shoulder.

He chuckled. "You should rest longer…"

"But I don't want to…" I hugged him tightly. "How long have you been here?"

"I think your question should be revised to, 'how long was I asleep?' Because I walked in about four hours ago."

"Four hours? Are you serious?"

He motioned to the window. It was well past noon. Evening prepared to set in. The city bustle thickened. For the first time since waking up in Lindblum, I was able to admire the reconstruction effort since the cybertorrents arrived. There was no trace that the event ever happened. All but a mere shell of one remained in the square where it had 'died': a trophy of the cybertorrent downfall. It was amazing how citizens preserved the memories of past hardships. I treasured this.

Catching my smile, Kuja raised an eyebrow. "What is it?"

"Just the statue down there… That's from Esthar. I was here when they attacked Lindblum. And… I was responsible for the reason…" I added sadly. People had died that day… because they were searching for me. The result of a traitor. Was it wrong to desire happiness? Sometimes these occurrences made me question this.

Whenever I wanted something, life seemed to drag me in the opposite direction. The mundane things everyone else went through were pulled out of reach. I watched from a distance. Those once in a lifetime chances… I had to miss out on. But when I think about it now, it doesn't hurt so much because my calling at that time was greater than that of those around me who were given that moment to obtain that normalcy. Not everyone could say they fought against this and lived. Or they had a hand in preventing a catastrophe the world would never know. Even if it didn't seem that big at the time, maybe it could have meant everything to the future. It was best that the outcome was never discovered. If the chance to discover came up, then I can happily say that it doesn't matter. That timeline doesn't exist anymore. It rests in line with all the other events that followed. And maybe I am separated from those around me, but personally, I am comforted by my change. The world doesn't need to know of the greatness of this calling. It isn't for them. Instead, it's just repeating my name into the waves of frequencies my heart can follow. And why should anyone know? What would they gain from it? Would they reward me? I don't think I'd like that. The idea seemed silly.

My thoughts made me smile. Content felt wonderful. A hand ran under my chin and Kuja pulled me into another kiss. Still a bit flustered after all this time, I shakily kissed back, holding him tightly. He was mine now. After as many death experiences I had, it was still unbelievable.

A chuckle shook against my lips and I pulled away to look up at him. "What is it?" I asked, drawing in a deep breath.

"You're still shy~" he teased, tapping my nose with his finger. "I would think after this many years you would have grown out of that."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I looked to him with a quirked eyebrow, taunting the truth out of him with a little defiance.

The grin on his face widened. "Your shyness is adorable…"

I raised my eyebrow higher. "Shyness? I'm not at all shy." For emphasis on my point, I crossed my arms.

He pulled me close until I could feel his breath graze the surface of my ear. The sudden warmth of his tongue flicking over my skin caused me to shudder. I hadn't the slightest how many shades of red my face deepened to. Dragging his lips over my cheek, he looked to me with a smirk. His thumb brushed the blush on my other cheek. "Shy~" he grinned.

"I-I am not…"

He pulled away and gave me a serious face. "Is it your goal in life to defy every word I say?"

"Only if you say it with the purpose to make me flustered," I answered.

Insidious was the look he gave me. Though not at all with the intent to harm. More like… _reciprocate_ my challenge.

"Regent Cid has called a meeting tonight," he said suddenly.

"Why?"

"He didn't say…"

Drawing in a deep breath, I looked down. "How long do we have before the meeting?"

"About an hour."

"Joy…" I leaned back, popping my back in place.

A loud crack caught Kuja's attention. "Umm… ow?"

"No, no… that felt good."

He frowned. "Sounded terrible."

Looking over to him with a smirk, I said, "Yeah? Lie down."

With only a brief, playful glance, he lay on his back. I rolled him onto his stomach before climbing atop his back. My thoughts started to wander as I sat on his lower back. I pulled them away quickly, not wanting to think about how nice it felt to have him under me… Too late.

I shook my head, dispersing any naughty thoughts that threatened to take over my focus. Balling my fists, I lined my hands up on either side of his spine, palms facing one another. I started up at the shoulders. "Just breathe out," I said. Once he exhaled, I leaned my strength and weight into my fists momentarily and heard a resounding crack. He grunted and I couldn't help but smile. "Feel better?"

"A little…" he muttered.

"Never had your back popped into place before?" I started lining up my fists just below the first place. He shook his head. "Breathe out." And he did. I continued all the way down his back. I lost count of how many cracks I heard. He must have felt terrible. Although, I wasn't at my best. It was hard to get the upper back popped into place without using a doorframe or something. And I wasn't about to go around the castle using random doorframes to get my back to pop into place. I think I would laugh too hard in explanation. It truly sounded ridiculous when I played that event out in my mind.

He lay there contentedly. I wondered if I squeezed the life out of him. Kneeling over him, I tried to see if he was still conscious. "Kuja…?"

When I met his eye level, he turned and grabbed me. Seconds later, I was lying on my back, staring up at him. "Ack!" I winced. He had me pinned already. My heart was already accelerating.

"I can move now…" he observed, stretching his back out a little before inching closer to me.

"Y-yeah… that's why I did that…" I was finding it hard to articulate my sentences.

Lowering to my neck, he nuzzled it and then sat me up. "Come on, now… you should see the others: let them know that you're alright."

"A-alright…" I nodded, still dazed.

We left the room together and parted in the hallway. A blond-haired man with a tail pulled Kuja aside, having something urgent to discuss. Kuja smiled to me before leaving with him, letting me know he'd meet with me again later.

This left me with a lot of free time on my hands. What to do? I wasn't exactly eager to face anyone on my own right now… but that's something I'd eventually have to do anyway.

I started down the hall and turned the corner. Guards stood at strategic posts along the walls. Lindblum Castle seemed bigger than I remembered it. Then again, I didn't get to explore the entirety the first time I was here. Perhaps the attack had left me too alarmed back then that I didn't take in the artistic detail as much as I did now. Though I knew so little about interior design, I thoroughly enjoyed this place. And it was easier to find my way around as opposed to Esthar.

Reaching the airship hangar, I watched the productivity of each intricately designed ship. Several crafts were lined up below the narrow walkway suspended above the ground floor.

Engineers were repairing a large airship. The first layer of metal had been torn and shredded at the front all the way down to the middle, leaving scratches all the way down to the back. I stared in awe, wondering what could have done such great damage.

"It hasn't even been a day and you're already on your feet again."

As I looked around for who spoke, I noted the traveler's coat draped around Kraizule's shoulders. I smirked and walked over. "Glad to see you're alive."

He shrugged, making an effort not to show that he was amused. Though it was very obvious he was. "I've already escaped death once."

His façade made me laugh. Without warning, I hugged him. "I'm glad you're alright… I had no idea what to think after we confronted Chandersin. No idea… I thought my life was over. And, I guess in a way, it was. I feared what had become of you." My grip tightened around him and I felt him recluse just a little.

Very lightly, he patted my back. "Yeah…" he breathed. "Close call."

After a moment longer, I pulled away and smiled up to him. I wondered how he was feeling. My relief turned to sorrow when I imagined how he must feel now that his beloved was no more. There was much I wanted to know. Things I wanted to ask but had to stifle for courtesy's sake.

"Umm…" I started.

"Don't," he interjected, putting his hand up to stop me. When I gave him a confused look, he sighed. "Let's not talk about it… After all, I still have some bitterness left. We only teamed up for that one time. Simply to take back the control that was stolen. I'm not about to be overly forgiving toward you…"

My expression soured. "Fine." So he wanted to be on good terms but not put forth the effort to do so. And also hold a grudge at the same time. This had to be the most complex guy I'd ever met. Before I made the comment about him being feminine about his 'feelings', I walked on.

A pointy hat stuck out from behind a fortress of crates that held ship parts. Glancing over the barrier, I noted a single black mage at work. "Hey," I waved.

At once the mage looked up. Bright yellow eyes widened and the little guy jumped to his feet, running over. "Terra!'

I blinked. And then ran around the wall to meet him, catching the mage in a tight hug. "Fenn!"

He hugged back just as tight. "You're finally awake! I knew you would be alright!"

It had been ages since I had seen the little guy. He might be the one to overturn the latest sour event with Kraizule. There wasn't anything bad I could say about this little guy.

We caught up with one another's lives. Apparently, he'd been working in Lindblum Castle for the last few months. The Regent had started experimentation on alchemy. He was currently researching a world called Inferiad: a place where the eidolons lived. This worried me. Was it the same place I had spent before waking up here? The thought alarmed me. That world was death, wasn't it? The other side? Mother and father were there. Unless it was all some terrible nightmare.

Though his depiction of that world was staggeringly close to where I had been. Eventually, I had to cut the conversation short because of the trauma I wanted to forget. Fear made me feel weak.

He went back to the models he had been crafting as I left. There was little more I could do here, so I left back to the first floor of the castle. I eventually wandered back to the room I had been given. Voices streamed into the hallway from within. I waited in the hall, listening carefully.

"Well I would run off too if I knew you were here AND waiting to give me a lecture. Anyone in their right mind wouldn't stay just to be chewed out about something they're not responsible for. And I'm getting tired of your attitude. Ever since we left for Esthar, you've been acting like a child. I can't tell if you're worried or just pissed off."

Peeking around the doorframe, Deryo and Ember came into view. Ember was standing very stiff while looking out the window while Deryo yelled at him from behind. He held his hands behind his back and appeared to struggle between turning to Deryo and punching him in the face and keeping his adult composure. It was strange to see such a struggle in a normally stoic person's disposition.

"If it wasn't for her stupidity in starting her journey of 'finding herself' then she wouldn't have caused us to risk everything to bring her back."

"What's wrong with you? That wasn't your attitude when you first heard about the fact that she's been found. You were cross, yes. But you still had that flicker of hope."

Ember turned, eyes narrowed. He drew close to Deryo, towering over him. "Her Majesty speaks too much…" he growled, grabbing Deryo's shoulder and moving past him. By the way Deryo's face scrunched up, I could tell the touch wasn't pleasant.

He walked to the other wall, staring out another window.

Deryo threw his hands up in the air and followed him. The monk was becoming flippant. Monk…? Wait a minute… Deryo went into monkhood? Did that mean he practiced celibacy? Deryo…? Was that… possible?

"Listen, Ember."

He waited.

"Why don't you let it go for now? She just woke up. If I were in her shoes, I wouldn't want to be admonished all of a sudden over mistakes I'd recognize. She's probably kicking herself for them now. That's typically how it goes with logical thinkers. They recognize what they did was stupid and they kick themselves."

"That's just it," Ember grinned evilly. "Terra isn't logical. She's impulsive. Over-reactive. Stubborn. Clumsy. Etcetera."

I glowered. Yeah, I was all of those, but he didn't have to be that tactless. I recalled being pretty logical in most cases, so why was he being so abrasive? As I let his words stew in my mind, my fists clenched. I wasn't perfect, but at least I tried. I wasn't afraid to take risks. He always became uneasy every time I deviated one inch from a set path. I was tired of meeting his expectations. What did he have to show for what he expected of me? Sure he was older and took care of all of us the best he could, but he wasn't perfect enough to surpass what he set. Besides, I am of age now. Why should it matter if I don't do exactly as he says?

"You're sounding like a brat again," Deryo sighed. "I know you still feel guilty. But you must realize that what's done is done. You can't change the past. Stop projecting yourself onto Terra. Stop trying to mold a legacy. It's Not Happening. She won't avenge the past you."

As I heard all this, weight filled my chest and drew an anchor to my eyes, pulling tears down my cheeks. A legacy? Was that all I was to Ember? Just some kind of living proof that he existed? My knees weakened beneath me from the weight. Backing away, I started down the hall at a run.

Why did my brothers have to argue about what I wanted? They didn't know anything. Neither of them had any idea. No idea at all! I wanted to run up to Ember and shake him violently. It was becoming painful to keep it all in.

No sooner had I fled the scene when I was in Kuja's hold. His arms were wrapped tightly around me. Hands caressed my back and hair and his gentle voice coaxing me to calm. In that moment, I let go of my frustration, pride and sorrow. My hands clenched his shirt and my face remained buried in his shoulder.

After he pried the reason of distress from me, he sighed. "Since when do you let what one person says get to you? That's not like you at all."

I shook my head. There were more details to the situation. Things I neglected to tell even Kuja. I kept these secrets to myself. Trust still remained an important value I constantly sought. Even now; with Kuja. This fact made me selfish, but to the point where it was meant to protect me. I'd learned by now to sacrifice love for safety and this made me stupid and doubtful. I didn't want to feel doubt when around him. Instead I wanted to hold my arms tightly around him and know that there was nothing that would separate us. This internal struggle to love fully and give up my pride constantly ate at my intent.

His attention was drawn away for a moment. I felt him tense and looked over. He relaxed seconds later when Vincent came into view.

Looking between us, Vincent smirked. "Nice to see you're both on your feet again."

"But I've been awake the last two days."

"Sulking next to Terra. May as well have been out just as long," he corrected.

Kuja chuckled. "I guess you're right. But I wasn't sulking…"

"You're right. It was more like wilting."

He soured. "Fine. So I wasn't in the best shape."

"No. You weren't."

I sighed. "Vincent is being serious again~"

He looked to me with a raised eyebrow.

"I'm going to send Shelke after you."

He frowned. "I haven't been able to find her…"

"Why not?" I asked jokingly.

"I started searching as soon as we returned to Gaia. But I haven't been able to locate her anywhere."

I wanted to spew words of comfort. But Vincent wasn't the type to like that kind of sympathy. And in the end, they would just be words. Whether or not they held any value would be questionable. It was selfish to just want to see Vincent happy. Just to see him smile when he knew he couldn't.

My head hurt from all of the round-about talk. Nothing had been explained. And now my head was full of even more complex questions. I had to be patient. Answers would come with the meeting. At least I hoped so. Knowing most people, they might be just as baffled as everyone else. What we needed was a witness.

As we started toward the meeting hall, a hollow laugh caused me to stop. On instinct, I tensed, falling into a fighting stance and readying to defend. That laugh. I knew who it belonged to. Like hell I could forget it. It had been haunting my dreams for the past two months in Inferiad.

"What's wrong, Terra?" Kuja asked, coming to my side. He looked worried.

"Ah… umm…" I looked around and realized that, once again, it was the spell. Mateus had found me. Hello, nightmares. Slowly, I dropped the stance, accepting the fact that I would not be able to fight something I couldn't touch. But it would continue to haunt me until I won completely. Which wasn't likely due to certain circumstances.

"Terra?" He gripped my wrist and glared at me. All playfulness gone. Instead, his expression was filled with urgency. When I didn't answer, he pulled me into a tight embrace. "If something's hurting you… please allow me to help you…"

Help me? I wish I could. I wanted so much to open up to him again. It would take time. And I knew he would be confused at my distance. I had to be careful. I didn't want to hurt him, but I couldn't trust him immediately. Oh, geez, Terra, can't you just tear away your pride? This was getting ridiculous! I may as well admit myself to the crazy house and plea insane because of this undying paranoia. By now it had well eaten into the normal life I craved.

For now, we dropped the fact of my abnormal behavior and entered the meeting room.

_**~FFIX~ Tears of Rejuvenation~**_

"Alexandria has been raided," Regent Cid announced from his throne. The statement yanked me back to the conversation and away from the admiration of the room's elegant and militant appearance. The walls were lined with ancient armor worn by heroes in the regent's bloodline. Like the rest of Lindblum Grand Castle, the floor was red and met the stone walls beautifully.

Garnet clapped a hand over her mouth. "That's… not possible." She looked to Beatrix. Merciless as she was, her guilt and sorrow remained blatant on the general's face.

Lowering her head, she offered a firm apology. "It's true. We were all… taken by surprise. A new enemy has risen. It became evident in the cruel pillaging."

A new enemy? Why target Alexandria? Brahne was dead. So what vengeance would anyone have against Garnet? "Cruelty…? Was anything specific found to confirm the intent?"

Beatrix fixed her cold gaze on me and nodded. "Quite specific." She glared to Ember. "The attack was like an explosion… the radius extended to the castle and past the lake." She suddenly appeared uncomfortable.

Rather than ask, I decided to deduce the facts she displayed. The 'explosion' didn't target the castle. But it reached it without a problem. Could it have been an aerial attack? That didn't seem possible because Lindblum checks all exporting airships. Dali didn't seem to have enough space to harbor large scale explosives. Though there was rumor of an underground factory which was the birthplace of all the black mages. So I couldn't exactly exclude them from the list. Although I couldn't think of a reason for Dali to attack Alexandria. They were all such peaceful folk. Some of them did act very rude, but that didn't mean they were all bad.

As for Burmecia-Cleyra, they had no reason to act hostile. They lived through the terror of being leveled. Targeting them as suspects was out of the question. They didn't seem to harbor the capacity to use modern weapons like explosives.

I sourly looked to Ember. It was the first time I'd seen him clearly since Esthar. Both moments were extremely brief. He looked eager and maybe a little sad. I couldn't tell if he was itching to lecture me about his legacy or apologize. But for once he wasn't glaring.

My thoughts wandered to my father. He assisted in weakening Madain Sari for destruction. Anger boiled as I glared at Cid. He was under _his _orders after all.

A gentle hand slid over mine beneath the table. At once my shaking, balled fist calmed. Without glancing to Kuja who sat to my right, I gripped the hand he offered, drinking in the comfort.

"What was the determined location of the explosion, General?" Ember inquired. The command of his voice cut off any argument she might have prepared. He wanted a straight answer.

Beatrix drew in a breath and closed her eyes, letting out the air slowly. "Your residence."

Ember furrowed his eyebrows. "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"What about the rest of the kingdom?" Garnet asked.

"The damage isn't as severe as when Bahamut was summoned. However, a great number of women and children are missing. No corpses have been found, so we can assume they might still be alive. And also…" Another glance to Ember. "Ferris and Julian Evans have also vanished."

"Neither of them are children!' Ember shouted. For the first time in a while, he showed his unease.

Beatrix looked over. "Which is why they are both suspect to the attack. Their bodies have not been found. But it is doubtful they would have lived. The explosion had magical tendencies. The missing citizens is very confusing. The targets were specific to only women and any child under the age of ten. I apologize, Ember," she bowed her head. "This is a terrible tragedy. And I understand you are in no condition to fully take in what my knights and I have gathered."

His response made it evident that he didn't care or didn't hear her apology. "So they might be dead somewhere while you persist to label them as criminals?" He shook with anger. Words hissed from between his clenched teeth. This was his attempt at staying calm.

She stared up at him, completely unfazed by his reaction. "Yes."

The room darkened, filling with a heavy, unseen force. Lanterns flickered from each corner of the hall. Chilly air brushed past me and I could see the faces around the table panic.

To my left, Vincent shifted, anticipating an attack. Ember's red eyes settled into a subconscious gaze, growing more intense and frightening than ever. Then, all at once, the table burst into flame.

Shouts of surprise echoed harshly around the room. Fire burned my knees and I fell back in the chair, trying to stop the sharp pain. Several others were burned by the flame and much worse than I.

Garnet stood on her chair, arms extended. She vanished, leaving an angelic creature in her place.

As the light from the creature dispersed, a flicker of knowing struck my mind. "Shiva…" I breathed, watching the blue fae dance from a prism of light.

The eidolon smiled briefly to me and moved her hands to a spell in the air, sending a calm storm of frost to still the flames. As the fire died, she approached my brother. Cool, icy blue hands caressed his face with gentle care. He snapped from the daze and looked up in alarm.

Shiva pressed one of her hands over his eyes and uttered words I could not hear. Pulling away, Ember's eyes flickered closed and he fell to the floor, unmoving.

Fear collected in my gut. Had she killed him? Before I could confront her, she vanished, leaving a fatigued Garnet crumpled on the floor.

Zidane hesitated for only a moment before rushing to her side, forgetting his vendetta against his brother.

Kuja got my attention and placed a hand on my shoulder before making sure I was alright, searching my entire body for injuries. This made me blush several shades of red. It wasn't often someone took time to assure my complete well-being. When he reached my knees, he carefully pulled my shorts up from the wounds. Gripping the floor, I winced and held back a small cry.

His hands lay just above the wounds, leaving space for a healing spell to form. Soothing wisps of white streams trickled over the burns like mist, peeling away the damage and pouring life into the deadened cells. A small ache of healing pain was swept away with the damage. Once it ended, I looked up to Kuja who smiled triumphantly and pulled me to my feet. A discrete hug was exchanged between us as we returned to our seats.

Guards carried Ember and Garnet from the room. Zidane accompanied them, looking worriedly after Garnet.

Vincent reclined his head with a sigh. "They've locked Ember away in the cells until he's stable enough to control himself."

"Why?" I looked to him in alarm. "Wouldn't that environment only make him more hostile?"

"At least he'll be away from civilians. It's better that he cool down there and reevaluate the situation he's in."

Deryo brushed ash off his white robe. He appeared just as shaken as I felt. The dragon knight beside him, Livia was her name, maintained a stoic expression. Beatrix remained hard to read; eyes closed, arms crossed. Thoughtful, maybe? As for the Regent, he appeared worried.

The door opened, admitting a very graceful woman wearing an exquisite dress. She hurried to the Regent and whispered something to him. He seemed to calm. I tried to study the woman from behind, but couldn't get a good look. Kuja grinned a little and I glared to him. "Don't you recognize her?" he whispered.

"I'm trying… to see her face…"

"Surely you remember…"

Remember… right. Try being labeled the Arbitrator and having a memory. It's a lot of fun, I thought sarcastically.

Then it hit me. "Lady Hilda!" I shouted, pointing and standing.

She turned, searching for the one who called her name. It wasn't hard to see me. I just embarrassed myself in front of everyone. Standing and pointing awkwardly in a very important meeting.

The timing didn't seem to bother her. Almost immediately, she rushed over and embraced me. "Terra…" she cried, squeezing me in a tight hug. "You're awake! I'm so glad!"

Our reunion didn't seem to bother anyone. I promised to tell her about my journey as soon as I could. She nodded and then went back to Cid, kissing his cheek before leaving once more.

"We've just received a request from the new adversary…" The doom re-stitched itself to his face. "As a promise to not attack Lindblum, they've requested that Terra Evans meet them in Ipsen's Castle."

The seat vanished beneath me. It must have because I felt like the room was being torn asunder into a whirlpool of blackness.

He went on. "Our kingdom is in no way prepared to face such an attack. However, I'm not about to serve our newest guest to them just so they'll leave us alone. Therefore, I've issued a warrior banquet. We are building our army tomorrow. We will stand and fight against that which has decimated our friends! And we will find and prove innocent Ferris and Julian Evans!"

His words brought smiles to everyone's faces. Rays of hope. But my mind was far from calm. The weight of the situation was crashing down on me like those hundreds of feet beneath the water in Inferiad. Who was this new adversary? And what did they want with those women and children? What did they want with my brothers? And what did they want with me?

The laughter amplified in my mind. Cruel and continuous as if mocking all that I worked so hard to accomplish. Living was an accident; it had to be.

Were it possible that everything I had done up to now was pointless? I saved the world from destruction… but the evils continued to press against everything I fought for. Ripping down the order which I had helped to settle. Chaos is persistent. Just how much persistence can I take before I'm brought to my knees in defeat?

Then my own ray of hope dawned. I pressed my hand to my stomach and raised my fingers two inches above my umbilicus and pushed upward between my ribs. They hit something hard and spherical. All my answers might be held within that orb. Now the trial I faced was extraction…


	4. Writing Through Ice

**_A/N: I had this chapter done a while ago. However, a lot has happened recently. I moved from Hanford, CA to Norman, OK. Yeah, it was kind of a last minute thing. I actually ran away in essense. My mother was none too happy when she found out. In fact, she was very abrasive. We've recently patched things up and she came to the acceptance of my decision. I now live with a good friend of mine and am employed at Panda Express. Also, I'm in a steady relationship with Naka Teleeli, n.n He's a pretty awesomesauce dude. I absolutely love talking with him. We mostly talk about art, games, and well, anything that comes to mind. I enjoy his open-mindedness. A lot of the time, he's able to help me with ideas if I'm stuck with my writing. Also, he's a great support of everything I choose to do and had a great impact on my final decision to stay where I am now._**

**_Main reasons why I left home: _**

**_1) Wanted to give my mom some time with her new spouse._**

**_2) Needed to get out on my own. (I'm 22 years old)_**

**_3) My roommate really needs an irl friend here._**

**_4) Better paying jobs. (Panda pays $9/hr - pretty nifty)_**

**_In other news, I hope this chapter is acceptable. And if you're wondering, I have the entire plotline finished in my head. And it'll be a bittersweet ending. I don't write ultimate fluff. Someone you may love and adore to pieces will die. So if you're looking for mega-happy ending with sunshine and kittens and rainbows, stop now. Please. Not in this chapter. By all means, read it. It's wonderful. But later on, THERE WILL BE SADNESS. BAD SADNESS. And a lot of angry fans. But I give no spoilers. If you're brave, you'll finish reading. There are approximately 5-7 more chapters in this arc. Maybe less. It doesn't take up much space in my head. Then again, this series was only supposed to be one book. It's three. However, I assure you, this IS the last book to Destined to Die. It might be 10 more chapters. I'll have to see. As will you._**

**_Thanks to everyone for their patience. I'll push out the chappy's as fast as possible. My work schedule makes things nearly impossible. But I'll do my very best to deliver the ending As Soon As Humanly Possible. I love you all to bits and I'm sorry if I haven't responded to any reviews. I'll do that soon. If I doubly respond, please understand that I'm loopy, tired and completely dead after work. Definite overtime over here. Only 7 workers for a Panda Express makes everything super hard._**

**_As always, flame and review if you want. Hugs, love, and fortune cookies!_**

**_-Mayris_**

* * *

_Inferiad… The eidolons and their judgments, followed by the labyrinthine structure of Garland's castle and then the torments of my grandfather repeated over and again until the illusion became real._

_Each distortion ended in my drowning into the dark, icy depths of Alexandria Lake that happened three years ago. But in each occurrence, there was no Ember to save me. _

_Instead, Ember waited in a damp cell, chained to a wall and struggling desperately to break free. Little by little, his body changed and morphed into the terrifying djinn Ifrit. Once the transformation was complete, he broke of the chains and crashed through the cell door. Out in the hall, Beatrix waited with her sword at the ready._

"_Thou horrible beast…" she said, gripping the hilt of her blade firmly. "Retuneth to hell and burn in the flames of your own rage." Lunging at Ember, her sword changed to ice as it punctured his chest. He let out a monstrous cry before collapsing to the ground._

_Ifrit slowly melted away, leaving Ember on the floor of the dungeon crying as blood streamed from the wound._

_His fear-filled gaze stared at the ceiling as his life pulsed away at each inhalation of breath._

_In the twinkling of a moment, he became Vesper. All his features changed to the form of my father down to the wrinkling of his brow as death greeted him._

_And then the insidious laughter filled my mind. "Return…"Mateus begged._

"_My answer stands…" said my corpse as it sunk to the depths of the hungry sea._

"_Your answer will change once you meet your new opponent."_

"_I have all I need… I have my beloved. I will not wish for death or a master."_

"_How long will your beloved stay with you? It's been so long… how can you be sure your feelings haven't changed? All the years you've been dragged around by your destiny and its cruel cycle there's no telling what you feel anymore now, is there?"_

"_I know what I feel for him," I retorted._

"_Doubt."_

_I didn't answer._

"_Fear," he continued. "The ever-present illusion that he will betray you just like he betrayed everyone else. Even you can't deny this, Arbitrator."_

"_I'm not the Arbitrator anymore."_

"_You are who you are until you die."_

"_I've already died."_

"_But you came back. Your destiny has changed. And what's even more delectable is that I know what it is."_

_I screamed, unable to take this torment any longer, "GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"_

_His laughter only lingered, repeating until I started laughing too. I laughed to match the rhythm if only to hush it from my thoughts and let my own voice take its place._

Hands gripped my shoulders, shaking me until I woke up. The room echoed with my laughter. I stared up to Kuja who had a small look of worry before calming. "Are you alright?"

I slowly nodded.

He sighed and sat down beside where I lay. The room was dark except for the reflective moonlight that poured in through the windows. "You were shaking in your sleep. I couldn't wake you… and then you started laughing."

"I… was laughing?" Well I did remember laughing in the dream, but I didn't think it would be that real.

Saving all my questions for later, I sat up and rubbed my eyes. "I think we should talk…" I muttered. Best now than later when things were worse.

"You don't know what you feel anymore… don't you?"

My eyes snapped to him. "I… yeah… I don't… I know I loved you… once I did. But I'm so scared that the feeling is gone now because it's been so long. I feel I hardly know you."

He raised an eyebrow and then I was pinned beneath him. "Maybe I should kidnap you again," he suggested, an evil smirk on his face.

Even now, he left me flustered. "I… uh…" Before I could answer, his lips fell to mine. The kiss was harsh and demanding. I loved every second of it.

Halfway through the passion, he stood and broke from the kiss. Without a moment's hesitation, he scooped me up in his arms and carried me out of the room.

"W-wait a minute… you're serious, aren't you?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Have I ever not been? I still owe you for being defiant with me earlier. Sorry, my little angel. I'm taking you out of here. And you won't be back for a long time."

"Wh-what about Lindblum? The ultimatum?"

He tilted his head to the side and I could see the playfulness in his gaze. "Lindblum will be fine. Seems like you're the target to begin with. And they can't have you. You're mine. So I'm taking you to the safest place you'll ever be."

"What about my family? My friends?" I argued as we started out the door.

"They'll figure out what to do. You have to put some faith into them while I force you to accept faith in me."

The halls were filled with sleepy guards struggling through their night shifts. Seemed unfair having to work so late. We easily slipped past security. I didn't want to sound any kind of alarm as we left, so I waited until we were in a place where we were alone again.

"I haven't packed anything…" I whispered.

He shrugged. "You didn't the first time either."

By the time we reached Dragon's Gate, he had hushed almost every argument I had against him. "Where are we going?"

"Desert Palace."

"Why?"

"Because I said so."

"And yet I still have other responsibilities to take care of here."

"Not anymore."

"Kuja… you can't…"

He stopped and looked down with a raised eyebrow. "Are you _challenging _me?"

Biting my lip, I tested him. "Yes… I am."

I was rewarded with a kiss. And then I was set down. "If you don't want to go… then don't. But don't think that I can't see your pain. The struggle that you're facing. The fact that you think you can push everyone away because of your own fear. Take it from someone who's walked that path. It's dark and lonely. The only star to show me the way is now afraid of telling me anything. That hurts… I'll attempt to be your star. And it looks like I'll have to force you to see that."

"Force me? To do what?" I took a step back.

I was pulled into a kiss. One that almost stole the equilibrium from my head so much that I had to grip his arm to make sure I knew where the ground was. He took my hand in his and pressed metal between my fingers. The first attempt to open my eyes and look down was thwarted as he cupped my cheek and pressed his arm against my lower back, pulling me toward him.

He deepened the passion enough to leave me shaking in his hold to the point where I found it hard to stand. All other thoughts dispersed. What was I arguing about? All I knew was the contact had infiltrated my system and poisoned my mind into believing nothing existed but him.

The cry of a dragon split the air, followed by wing beats. My feet left the ground as he carried me onto the dragon, still facing me and holding me close, waiting for my heart to stabilize.

My head was against his chest and my breathing was deep. Chancing this moment, I looked down to my left hand only to see a glittering gem winking up at me.

"Wh-what is…?" I couldn't even finish the sentence. My mind was so unfocused that every thought dribbled away like sand in an hour glass.

He smiled and whispered words that I dare not repeat, not even in my thoughts for the fear that they aren't real. But I had to review them to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. I pulled away so far that I was nearly lying down on the back of the dragon, still facing him. My arms braced me from behind. I wanted to run from that question. My mind and my heart remained painfully unsure.

"Do I need to repeat it?" He asked with a malevolent smirk. "My dear Angel of Life, I would ask for your hand if only to rid you of your confusion and bless you with the knowledge of the worth your existence means to me."

"You… want my hand…? As in… marriage?"

He grinned. "Isn't it clear enough?"

I swallowed, feeling my chest pound faster with each breath. "I… I'm… umm…" How should I answer this? I wanted to, but… No. I didn't want to contradict my wishes. Not this time. No rationality. It was time to make a decision without thinking of consequences. Isn't that the best way to live at times? Jump with both feet in and experience the outcome without thinking about it? Wasn't this what I waited for? Yes. This is what I wanted. Even if I had to rebuild whatever feelings were driven from me, I would start with what I knew.

I knew I loved him. The doubt was the fear that I had changed. But he willingly accepted those changes. He accepted my will, my intentions, and the fact that I would do anything just to see him again. I had proven this before. And in return, he had proven it to me when he appeared in Esthar. It would be unfair to shunt his feelings and say no. It would be stupid. Would I act on logic and make the most stupid decision of my life? Not this time. Today, I would be foolish. As foolish as I could ever be.

"I want you. I want to be yours." I hugged him tightly. "Without thinking, I would be honored to stay with you forever. Isn't that what we've both fought for?"

He pressed a hand to my back before slowly returning the tight hug. "I know it is. You've surpassed the biggest trial of your life. You finally turned off your thoughts and let your heart speak for you. Divulged your desire and let it take over. I've waited forever for you to finally admit what you've wanted the most." He slid a silver ring on my finger. Blue luster danced over the metal, igniting in the darkness.

The small light show was hypnotizing; dreamlike. It made me question the reality of what we were about to do. The dream didn't seem to be ending, so I stopped questioning it, taking in each snippet of time like it held a deep, indescribable treasure.

We rode over the land. Not a soul knew where we were going. As we headed toward Desert Palace, the dragon detoured toward the West. I didn't ask why. I enjoyed the feeling of not rationalizing. I let my thoughts wander as I leaned back against him.

The dragon landed on an icy continent and crawled toward the entrance of a place I'd come to know as Esto Gaza. I followed Kuja as he disembarked. Turning, he reached up and helped me off, keeping a hand around my waist as we entered the chilly, enigmatic structure.

_**~FFIX~ Tears of Rejuvenation~**_

We walked up the crystal steps into the torchlit chamber. No one stopped us as we were the only venturers at this time. Murmurs could be heard from the hallways; sounds which we promptly ignored. Moving on through the entrance, we made it to a snowy balcony that overlooked a frozen lake.

The two of us stood there; two figures standing out against the gently falling flakes of a neverending winter. Shivering beside him, I couldn't help but smile. His fingers ran over my shoulder and down my arm causing me to shudder.

Glowing orbs of fire that traveled across the reflective surfaces of frozen water. Nature's approval. As an echoey whistle of wind ran over the empty land, a presence I could only sense and classify as the embodiment of Gaia poured over the ice, making its way toward us.

Once it reached both Kuja and I, a light touch of warmth spread over my cheek. Out of the corner of my eye, I could see Kuja tilt his head back in bliss as he took a deep breath in. The same reaction was forced from me as I leaned against him.

In the darkness, a light engulfed us where we stood. Warmth poured over my face and trailed down my body. We were there together and nothing could have made that moment sweeter. Our hands entwined and our spirits joined.

Tilting my head to the side, I met his gaze and smiled. He pulled me close and we shared a chaste kiss, surrounded by the light of Gaia's blessing. Heaven's light. Like all good things, this too had to end… But I would remember it; clutch tight and never let it go.

Staring up at him, he smiled the purest I'd ever witnessed. Almost childlike. I embraced him tightly; glad to let my emotions drift to the ever-waiting high they had sought for years.

He just held me. Silence in that wondrous moment was magical. Time didn't matter once again. "I'll not let a thing harm you. Not ever. I'll do everything in MY power to prevent anything from hurting you. If I fail, then I'll repent and become stronger."

I closed my eyes, breathing in his scent and basking in the closeness. "I don't mind if you fail. I'll be the one to protect you if the fight seems too great."

"Isn't that contradictory to my promise?"

"Haven't I always contradicted you?"

Pulling away, he gave me a speculating glare. "Does this mean I need to teach you a lesson in defiance?"

"You already owe me two~" I giggled.

"Then I guess I'll have to be thrice as strict about it, won't I?" He leaned me back over the ledge of the snow-covered balcony. The only thing keeping me from falling was his firm hand on my back.

The exhilaration of being held between my greatest fear and my greatest passion left me struggling for air. Fear and want danced together in my senses. Turning off my logic, I let my instincts take over. Trust. I trusted he would not drop me into the frozen depths below.

Closing my eyes, I went limp in his arms, leaning my head back and allowing him full control. He could do with me as he wished. And I knew very well he would not drop me.

He chuckled in triumph and pulled me up, scooping me into his arms and carrying me back through the torchlit structure. Day was beginning to break across the snowy plains.

"Where to now?" I asked, still completely relaxed.

"Home."

"Alexandria?"

The response he gave caused me to shudder. Pulling me closer, his breath rolled over my ear. "Desert Palace, my dear."

My eyes shot open and I hugged him tightly around the neck to keep from toppling out of his arms. "What…?" I could feel the heat coming off my face from a deep blush. He merely laughed and continued back out to the silver dragon.

We were already flying over the ocean toward the castle in the distance. The welcoming and nostalgic structure made me smile. I remembered the first time I saw it… how this sight would have terrified me when I knew I wouldn't see home again. Those fears changed into longing. I wanted to remain here. The past beckoned gently. How much had it changed since habitation? There were so many corridors I had yet to wander. Endless floors of chanceful exploration filled the massive wonder.

Instead of plummeting to the sands below, we entered through the hangar embedded into the cliff's side. The dragon fluttered to a halt, resting the platform, waiting for us to disembark.

Once Kuja got off, he raised his hands, reaching for mine. As I placed my hand in his, he tugged me down, wrapping his free hand around my waist and gently setting me on the ground as I rested against him. Smiling warmly, he cupped my cheek. "Welcome home, my angel." I smiled and nestled against him.

He placed his arm around my shoulders and led the way to a teleportation platform. After inputting several commands, we were taken to a room where two very tall doors waited. Pulling me close, his hands trailed absently up and down my back. His nails caused me to shudder.

"Whatever you choose from here, I'll accept." Breath dragged over my neck and ear as he whispered. "But if you run," he smirked, "then you'll reap the consequences."

Raising an eyebrow, I looked up to him. "If I… run?"

"You initiate chase."

"Oh…" Now I knew what he meant and the concept of this meaning caused my breath to shorten, my pulse to rise, and my hair to stand on end. The urge to challenge him set in. So… I turned on my heel and started out into the hallway at a run.

A maniacal chuckle followed me all the way down the hall. Running down a flight of stairs, I skipped a few steps, making sure to use caution and not trip on the way down. My heart pounded quickly in excitement. This new game left me with a light, airy feeling that followed all the way up to my throat, causing me to laugh a little as I soon became lost in the labyrinth that was Desert Palace.

Entering what I assumed was the base level, I followed one of the branching hallways and ran past a wall of windows that showed the darkened sky over the desert. From all the training I'd undergone, I hardly felt tired. Adrenaline pushed me forward; onward. My body raced like lightning down the floor's stretch.

Laughter reached my ears at a whisper. Trying to ignore the blush creeping on my face, I hardened my resolve and ran faster. Fabric from my jacket flapped from my movements; two dark blue tails trailing like dragon wings behind me.

Rounding the next corner, I stopped abruptly, seeing Kuja walking calmly down the hall. My heart skipped a beat and I turned the other direction, wanting to prolong the game a little longer.

But when I raised my foot to run, I couldn't. Both of my feet remained planted in the ground as if they grew up from the floor. Was I stuck? Jerking my legs harshly, I observed that my body didn't even move. Looking to my hand, I tested clenching and unclenching it. Nothing. My brain fired off commands that my body couldn't follow.

Slow footsteps approached from behind me. It was then that I felt the force of a spell. Great, paralysis! I should have known he would cheat like this… I was like a small bunny waiting for the inevitable pounce of a hungry hyena. If hyenas ate bunnies; I hadn't researched that yet.

Each footstep he took echoed with a sharp finality. Slow. Unhurried. And completely enticing to my mind. It had to be illegal to be this antagonizing. As the sounds drew closer, I could feel my body quiver at each pulse.

His warmth radiated as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close until I rested against his chest. The paralysis left then, but I had not the will to move. Turning in his arms, I tightly embraced him.

In response, he picked me up around the waist and started walking. I let my feet dangle over the ground and just held him as he opened one of the doors in the hallway. Inside rested a teleportation platform. Still holding onto me, he input a new code and we were whisked away to an ornate room of rich color. Purples, blues and maroons complimented the scene.

The atmosphere was lost to my senses fulfilled with the essence of him. Electric waves struck between each enticing kiss, drawing me farther and farther into his designated trap. I vaguely remember us moving anywhere until the back of my knees buckled as something tapped against them, causing me to fall back onto a plush surface.

With a devious smirk, I backed away until my head rested on an array of pillows. He followed, delivering a playful, vengeful glare. My thoughts rested beneath a thick fog as I watched him. Laying both his hands on either side of my head, he smirked, staring down at me.

Every moment flowed without pause. Inexperienced as I was all of my fears, doubts and compromising thoughts were left behind as this intrinsic feeling took over. After the lingering ecstatic nirvana ended, I cuddled beside him, falling asleep peacefully for the first time in years.

_**~FFIX~ Tears of Rejuvenation~**_

Watching him sleep made me smile. The simple rise and fall of his bare chest breathed life into my own senses. I lightly ran my hand over his chest and closed my eyes, enjoying the feel of the movement.

Forgetting everything again and drifting into that welcoming fog. A place I wanted to stay forever. But life would call me back to its cruel mechanism. As long as I could, I would not leave this bliss.

He drew in a sharp breath and then turned on his side, facing me. Cracking open his tired, blue eyes, I smiled up at him, my hand moving to his cheek.

"Hello, love," he muttered after he stretched.

The small phrase left me flustered and I giggled nervously, trying to dispel the sudden feeling. "H-hey…"

He laughed. "Still shy even after last night?"

"How come you're not…?"

"Because I've wanted you since you tried to hit me."

Raising an eyebrow, I tilted my head. "What? Why?" It was hard not to laugh.

"No mortal before you ever had the courage to rebel against me. Much less try to beat some sense into me. It was… intriguing."

I smiled. It was the first time I had been complimented on my unruly ways. Usually, putting up a façade rendered me reward. However, being complimented on something as simple as acting crudely struck both amusement and elation. So I could be myself around him. Realization of what I had always wanted surfaced. I could be completely normal around him. I wouldn't have to worry about acting proper—not that I had really been taught how—or putting on a delicate air.

"So… my degradation of your methods caused you to fall for me?" I asked with a grin.

He pulled me close and pressed his lips to my neck and then upturned his gaze to me. "It was the start," he said against my skin, causing me to shudder. He kissed where the death mark was, pulling me closer until I could feel every twitch and shudder between us.

There was no want for anything but now. When I could be curled up in his arms, knowing that no harm would come to me unless he so chose it. Trust was a strange device. Something I had no idea I was still capable of. But lo and behold, it came as easy as my next breath. Maybe mistrust was the hardest. I thought of all those whom I couldn't trust and I was surprised to find out the list was small. There was plenty in which I trusted. Those that I couldn't trust had done terrible things to me. Unless it was this moment that broke past that unyielding rule of skepticism. How was I supposed to thank Kuja for what he'd done? He returned to me the light of hope and love; the possibility that good existed in each person no matter how small. Although it might have already been there, buried beneath the abrasions uttered against me and those that I cared for.

_**~FFIX~ Tears of Rejuvenation~**_

After days of living here once again, I wondered how long it was alright for us to stay. Lindblum would need us. Though Kuja had told me not to worry about it, I couldn't help but do so. He was right though, "Lindblum is composed of great warriors and hunters. Defending the capital will be easy work for them. Their pride will remain unbroken and their swords, bows, and staves strong. Even after Atomos leveled Lindblum, the warriors stood up and took initiative to rebuild. They shant fall so easily. Besides, you're only wanted for a trade-off. One that I'm not eager to initiate."

Only five black mages worked in Desert Palace. My questions of food and provisions were answered when I saw two of them scurrying about early one morning, setting the table in the dining room.

These hard-working creatures also took liberty in the arts. I was given a new wardrobe recently. Aside from Esthar, I never really wore dresses. Much less styled my long, black hair. The only other exception was when I met Kuja in Treno so many years back. Since then, I had trained myself to prepare for battle. Mobility remained a high priority, so dolling myself up wasn't the top thing on my list of things to do. But the mages worked so hard and made such elaborate clothing that I felt guilty to neglect the articles in the closet.

Kuja and I stayed in his chambers which were about as big as my entire house back in Alexandria. The main room consisted of a few sofas and a hearth. Reaching farther back into the room was a bed we shared. And adjacent to that area was a washroom. Across from the washroom was a viewing room where an ornate set of chairs and a table rested where I often enjoyed talking with him and drinking tea. Mages often brought us what we needed. Being with him in this place hardly left me with want to leave. I had already seen most of the world and lived as a drifter, searching for him. There was little need to explore now that my greatest treasure resided here.

We often talked about the future ahead of us. After all I'd been through I hadn't decided what I really wanted to do with my life. My nineteenth birthday was approaching already. There were few crafts I did know. One of them was fighting. But I didn't want to spend my life as a knight in servitude despite how relaxing and simple the job seemed. He urged me to do what I wanted, holding back the fact that he just wanted my contentment while I wished the same.

Another craft I had actually circulated around literature. While away in Esthar, I greatly missed my small library of novels. While here I just had to find the right floor and I could spend hours and hours reading to my heart's content. I hadn't explored much beyond that until he pushed a piece of parchment before me and a feather pen.

"Write what comes to mind," he suggested.

I glanced at him, perplexed. "Why? I can't write."

He raised his eyebrows expectantly. "Show me."

"You're the writer. All the beautifully arranged words you say flow in a poetic song that I could never duplicate." I turned the paper back toward him. "This is more your area. I'm not creative in the least…"

He grumbled under his breath, rolling his eyes. "You're not even going to try?"

I sighed and pulled the paper back toward me, taking the pen in hand and rolling it between my fingers. After a while, I started writing the letter _t_, stopped, and then dragged the pen across the page in a very loopy doodle.

Out of my peripheral vision, I saw one eyebrow rise at the spectacle. An amused smirk stretched over his angelic features, making him look devious. The pen started resisting my motions and I glanced up to see his fingers were tugging at the tip of the feather.

"Something wrong?" I asked, all smiles.

He smirked and shook his head, laughing a little. "Is that your poetry?"

Staring down at the page, I nodded, "Yep! Beautiful, isn't it? Bet you could never duplicate that!"

"Don't underestimate me~"

"Oh, why not?" I whined playfully.

"You'll regret it~" he said in a singsong tune.

"Please," I began, laughing, "I stopped regretting things a while ago."

"Really? Prove it." He waited.

Wasting no time, I leaned over the table and kissed him deeply, passionately. He chuckled and kissed back, pulling me close until I was forced from my seat and sitting in his lap. Once the kiss was over, I nuzzled his neck. "I love you."

"Do you?" He kissed my head. "Because I know that you're going to hate me in two seconds?"

"What's in two—"

Before I could finish asking, he was already teasing my neck with kisses. Hands explored my back relentlessly, dragging out sounds of pleasure from their hiding places. Once he had pulled me past the limit of just sitting here and enjoying his touch, he stopped.

"… y-you're right… I do hate you…" I gasped.

"Do you want it to continue?" he asked, breathing lightly into my ear.

Unable to answer, I nodded.

The subject of writing was forgotten that day, but I don't think either of us really cared anymore after that. Not for a while. It was funny how we got from the topic of our proclaimed futures to the subject of 'relations'. We had such an interesting relationship.

Our progression through our unhurried feelings drew my attention to the ring he gave me earlier. The blue luster only glowed in the dark but shined brilliant silver in sunlight. I contemplated this while sitting on the roof of the palace. Of course, getting up here took a lot of memory jogging. Thankfully, I recalled the day that Kuja had hidden me in the wall structure as he visited with that Zidane person.

I'd opened the wall without much trouble and climbed the ladder, checking again to make sure that nothing had made its nest on the metal, and then climbed up to the top, staring out over the dunes. Sunlight blinked through the sporadic patches of clouds. The ring winked back in the game of hide-and-seek the elements played.

It was a wonderful gift; one I hadn't seen anywhere else in this world or Esthar. Not even Infiriad. As thoughts of my encounter with Garland surged through and ate at the happy moments, dread filled my gut. The heavy sphere still rested just below my diaphragm. My father's past.

Extraction. Something that welled fear powerful enough for me to lose my balance. I lay back and stared up at the sky. Wind whipped over the light, blowy, lilac dress I wore that reached my knees. Breathing deep, I turned on my side, resting my head on my arm. I hadn't even told him of my journey… we'd been so wrapped up in things pertaining to current time that I'd neglected these things. And now they ate at me from the inside. But I lacked proper courage to disclose them.

Mateus hadn't haunted my nightmares as much. I would sometimes hear his laughter, but nothing else. Maybe his power was weakening, or the spell becoming dormant. There was little I knew about his time during his own 'death'.

Thinking on it, I found it amusing to consider that both of us had tasted death. The promise engraved on my skin had been fulfilled. Not as scary as I thought it would have been, but still just as unnerving. I didn't mind it as much as I thought I would. Walking through the fire of death, I had come out alive once again. By what miracle I could only amount to—bitterly—was Garland. Despite him practically pushing me into my worst fear in the world, I came out fine. I guess I owed him some bit of gratitude, even if it did involve distasteful words.

Tears streamed down the arch of my nose, dripping onto my arm and then streaming to the stone surface I lay upon. My breath shook as I recalled the events. And then the soothing featherlike touch brushed my cheek, pulling me into a warm, secure hug. Leaning against him, I cried for a moment longer before calming. My mind had been so enthralled in the trauma of past events that I didn't even hear him enter the rooftop. He held me as the clouds drifted above us. "Why doth my canary shed tears? Such sorrow in bliss worries me."

I shook my head. "It's nothing…" I whispered.

He stroked my hair, his long, slender fingers running between the strands of black. "Tell me," he coaxed softly.

"If I do… I'm afraid of what you'll think… or how you'll act." I hated how my emotions wound around my throat like a vice, hushing the words that I wanted to speak. Fear silenced each painful phrase. Doubt solidified the silence like an unbreakable hex. Hatred of the self merely tightened the cord around both of these, suffocating the relief in silence which was only ebbed by tears that slipped between the cracks of this sadistic instrument.

"Terra…" he sighed, raising my chin so that I was now at his eye level. "If you want, you don't have to say a word. In fact…" he hesitated. "If you so will it… and draw from the spring of your abilities, you can show me."

"What?" My voice sounded unsure even to me. What did he mean? Spring of my abilities? Could he know about the Arbitrator? It wasn't impossible. A lot of people seemed to know about that, so why should I doubt he did.

The statement seeped into the most welcoming part of my mind, brushing past my emotions and enticing my curiosity. I allowed it to dismantle the instrument of my emotional destruction. Piece by piece, the masochistic emotions peeled away. Fear and doubt were stripped from the vice which was dismantled from my neck, pulling the hatred with it. I forgot all but this inquiry. Could I show him? If so, how? And when I did, how much would he see? How much did I even want to disclose?

As my mind became clearer and more specific as to what I wanted, I closed my eyes and leaned against him, recalling the events that set place. So as to solidify my trust in him—more to force myself past the last trap of my own mentality—I chose to show him everything.

The events replayed in my mind like they had happened. Reminding myself to focus only on the events, I managed to play them through to the best of my ability, starting from the time I met Vincent all the way up until Infiriad. Then I hesitated. Drawing in a deep breath, I composed the events and showed him all that I could recall.

Once finished, I opened my eyes, feeling Kuja shaking beneath me. Looking up to him, I saw that he was crying as his clutch around me tightened. "Oh, Terra… I'm so grateful… I'm so grateful…" he murmured between shudders and tears.

Wrapping my arms tightly around him, I allowed him his sorrow. The sun had already set, bringing in the moons to take its place in the ecliptic. I nuzzled his shoulder and kissed his cheek. My fingers trailed up and down his back and I started humming. That same tune that he had taught me many years ago. The same one I sang at the Tree of Iifa during his revival. The song that held a simple and strong weight of connection that tied this world together.

"There's no vengeance I can express," I whispered. "All I want is our happiness. We're both alive by the miracle of the heavens, so please… don't seek revenge for what has happened."

He nodded in agreement. "I understand…" he muttered. "But only if you promise not to hide your tears anymore."

I don't know why this simple freedom hit me so hard. Merely minutes after he allowed it, I was curled up in his arms crying. Hard. So much that I couldn't see straight for hours. We sat up on that rooftop together. Tears dripped from my chin until I thought that all the water within me was spent. But whenever I stopped, I started again. My sorrow pulled out all the hatred, anger and fear, cupping them in the watery ornaments that dripped from my eyes. Once every drop of them was expended, I cried for this moment; where I could be held and cherished by the one I loved the most.


	5. Love As Much As Hate

_**A/N: It's been almost a year! D: So much has transpired since I updated. In July of last year, I ran away from home. Now I live in Norman, Oklahoma. Yay... bugs and crappy weather. Oh well. My parents weren't too happy when I told them I wasn't coming home from a vacation at a friend's house. In any case, we've patched things up. I've been working at an ice creamery called Braum's.**_

_**Recently, I applied for the University of Oklahoma. And lo, and behold, I was accepted. Currently, I am working on getting financial aid set up as well as trying to get advisory for my classes. It's a little intimidating doing everything on my own. But I managed to file my taxes by myself, so I'll just ride along and figure out what to do when I get there.  
**_

_**My roommate (best friend) is super awesome. We RP a lot and through RPing, I've finally been inspired to push this number out. I'm aware it's not my best work, but I've been dreading writing this part for a while. There was supposed to be a scene with Cid's generals, but it was so boring in my head that I cut it out. It would have made for more interesting game-play side dialogue than actual storyline. If I wouldn't enjoy writing it, I highly doubt anyone would enjoy reading it. If you want to read some of my political rambles for this section, then I will gladly write it later, but otherwise, this chapter is FINALLY done.  
**_

_**Music I recently began listening to while writing:  
**_

_**Ari Koivunen  
**_

_**Sonata Arctica  
**_

_**Blackmore's Night  
**_

_**Avantasia  
**_

_**Brizeus  
**_

_**Dreamtale  
**_

_**Emerald Sword  
**_

_**Deviations Project  
**_

_**Rurutia  
**_

_**Enjoy and review if you can. I know it's really terribly written, but yeah. It's here. Thank you for your patience and your support!  
**_

_**-Mayris**_

* * *

Bows strained at the pressure of aimed arrows notching from unseen heights. A seat of obsidian waited atop a precipice of steep stairs. I drew my eyes away from the sight of the one taking its place at the throne. Instead, my gaze fell to the armed soldiers with face-plate's hiding their identity. But I knew they had to be golems rather than people. Or monsters. Monsters seemed fitting by his side. For all the destruction he spoke of I was surprised that there was a calm about the place. He waited for me. To speak. To act. To strike him down off that high seat. It was my duty. Arbitrator, they called it. The one to judge kings of my realm.

I had hoped that I could wait in silence. But all moved slowly. Painfully slow. My action determined the future. But I had no time for this... I had to find my brothers...

A light chuckle brightened the room in the worst way it could. His laughter I'd grown to hate. I jerked my head away, clenching my teeth and fists. The swaying of cloth and clop of footsteps only enticed me to draw my weapon. But it was somehow easy to stay that desire.

When I turned to glare at Mateus, I was eye to eye with Julian. He smiled warmly, dressed in Mateus's clothes. Innocent, green eyes sparkled down at me and tousled black hair poked out of the heavy, gold helmet.

"Julian...?"

He smiled. And then drew the sword at his side. I tilted my head to the side. What was he doing?

Looking over the weapon, he smiled and then glanced at me. With one swift movement, the blade became lodged in my chest. I was then wrapped in his arms, pain pulsing through my body as blood dripped quietly to the floor. "I love you, sis," he said joyfully. My vision became shaky and then hazed.

I opened my mouth several times to say something. What could I say to this? My brother had slain me. Tears dripped from my chin. I didn't feel them. I didn't feel anything. Emptiness, I suppose. And a small bit of pain that I had pushed to the back of my thoughts in order to comprehend this moment.

We parted. My knees locked and I fell with a loud scream of frustration. Something I didn't want to think about, but was forced to know.

And then silence.

Silence.

Stillness.

Existance.

Maybe.

And then...

Death.

But death felt calm and warm. Like the sun on a summer's day.

Heaven?

No... hell?

Where does a person like me go after they die?

Do I stay in limbo?

Or cease to exist at all?

Or remain in this warm capsule of light with no reason to think?

_"Terra..."_

Who?

_"Terra..."_

What?

_"Awaken thou to my call."_

But I wish to sleep.

_"Terra..."_

No... I'm not Terra anymore... I'm just... just...

_"Terra..."_

I'm empty. Nothing. I'm just a dream. An invention. An idea... I can't exist.

_"Awaken."_

Please let me stay dead. I do not want to face...

_"Look at me, please."_

My eyes blinked open and I stared up at Kuja.

"Another dream?"

I hoped it was just that. Please don't let this be a trick... I hugged him tightly and held him close.

"Maybe we should get that sphere out of you... it might be the catalyst of these nightmares," he suggested.

Despite the fact that I wanted it gone from the beginning, the fact that my father's past was contained inside it gave me comfort. Like an unhatched egg full of possibilities. "No," I shook my head. "Not now..."

He sighed.

The sun grazed the end table beside the bed and I looked outside. There was a lot to do today. Whether or not the Regent approved was his problem. I needed to see Julian again. And I could wait no longer. A week after we returned was long enough.

I threw the blanket off me and started to pull my belongings together. Stripping off my night clothes, I changed into trousers and a long-sleeved shirt. I smiled as I pulled on my blue coat. Another adventure to travel. Something about it sharpened my courage. But it needed to change. Like my temperament, I had to match it.

Removing the jacket, I set it down on the cot and began to make alterations. My enemies often grabbed at the sleeves and the sides as they billowed out from the air. I cut slits in the sleeves and took leather ropes through the slits and made them adjustable. As for the coat itself, I added a few more slits and made it so I could loop more leather through so that it would wrap around my waist. I altered it all the way down, making slits for my legs so my movement would be unaltered. This time, I added a hood to it in case it got cold where I went.

After completing the alterations, I left for the washroom, pulling my hair up into a half-ponytail bun and allowing some strands to hang down. At least I wouldn't be blind-sided by my hair.

I pulled the jacket around me and adjusted the leather straps. They did their work and it was easier to move about as well without tripping on the excess fabric.

An hour later, I was packed up and ready to go. No more of these meetings for me today. Just pure flight.

"Terra," Kuja grabbed my arm and pulled me back. I pulled away just as quickly. He glared. "What is your defect?" he demanded.

"What's yours?" I snapped back.

He retreated a step. His mouth dropped open, and then he looked down, closing it and swallowing what he was about to say. With a pained smile, he answered, "I guess I've always been defective."

"Wonderful. So after all that effort, you're still just a hypocrite?"

"No. Terra, what's wrong with you? How dare you call me a hypocrite? I've only done my best to understand you." He put his hands up in the air. "The only other way I see well enough to deal with you sometimes is coercion, but I really don't want to think that way again."

"So I'm still your subordinate?"

"No. I'm trying to avoid it." He looked me square in the eyes.

Without a word, I pushed past him, shaking my head. I tightened my pack about my shoulders and left the room. Guards exchanged glances of confusion which I promptly avoided as I started toward the lift that would take me to the airship hangar.

I could hear the echo of his footsteps following with haste. Each one made me want to go doubly faster than the last. Soon I was at a run through the menagerie of ships. I didn't dare turn back.

Boarding a small vessel at the near back of the hangar, I latched the door closed and hung my pack over one of the poles. My feet slipped as I hastily climbed the ladder to the cockpit. I was terrified that the door would burst open and Kuja would grab at my ankles and pull me back into the castle. I wasn't too far off.

No sooner had I sat down and fastened the harness around my shoulders, the ship quivered and groaned, nearly tipping over. Flames licked at the base of the craft. My eyes snapped toward Kuja. His glare sent shudders through me. I hadn't seen him this angry since I was his captive. We locked gazes for a moment and I felt motionless; unable to move from his admonishing glare.

I forced my eyes closed and opened the throttle. Within seconds, his face of fury vanished from my peripheral vision and replaced by the vast fields of green. The ship dove and rose with the wind.

I'd forgotten what it was like to fly. I suppose this came as an instinct. Here I was running away again. Flight was the only way to go. I couldn't imagine any other way than wooden wings. Despite the numerous times I'd escaped on aircraft, the rush was never the same.

As I drifted from Lindblum Grand Castle, I exited the gates unnoticed. Repairs had made it easier to slip through security. Not like I was a fugitive or anything... right? Sometimes... a lot of times... it felt that way. Why couldn't I do this? Why not that? Why wouldn't anyone support me in finding Julian and Ferris? Is it too dangerous? Where's the line when it comes to family? What is danger and why should it hinder my love for them? The concept caused my hands to shake on the helm. Or maybe it was just turbulence.

Suddenly, the ship lunged forward, causing me to almost slam my head against the window. "Ah!" I yelped. Glancing over my shoulder, I could see a chaser craft following me out. Through the glass visor I could see silver hair. And then my eyes fell upon that blue-eyed glare focused intensely upon me.

My heart raced madly in my chest. Shaky fingers tried to grasp at the knobs to change the speed and direction of the craft. It was like watching an image of me moving in slow motion while my mind raced to hasten those movements which refused to budge. I was trapped within my own slowness. Another quake through the craft sent my head against the back of the chair. With a gasp, I touched the base of my neck only to feel hot liquid graze my fingertips.

I blinked and looked at the blood. I couldn't go back. I had to press forward. Even if I was killed in the progress. Danger and risk of death never stopped me before. Why should it now that my loved ones were involved? Simple. It shouldn't.

Now my objective was to dodge Kuja. No longer could I think of him as my lover... he'd interfered in priority one. I turned the ship one-hundred eighty degrees and faced the oncoming craft. Pulling a lever hard, I locked the cannons and aimed at my enemy. And then waited.

Despite my sudden challenge, he blazed forward, meeting my inquiry.

I met his eyes. Cold. Merciless. Challenging.

Would he really go through with killing me to stop me? For my protection? Seemed anti-progressional. But would it? Could the man who marked me with death and pass me by really go to that length to complete his work. Even after sharing that which was most intimate. And then knowing me fully. Would he still attempt to take that which kept my heart beating in my chest.

For the first time in ages, I felt truly afraid. He who loved and knew me best was racing toward me on the path to my destruction. This is love. The feeling of fear engulfing the body until it's so great you want to scream. So great to take that which I held dear away.

Clenching my teeth and bracing my will, I launched fire. With that, I let out that scream of pain. The manifestation of my love. Knowing that what I did was for the better of myself and the condemnation of my beloved. Maybe he'd understand.

My attack missed. He dodged and maneuvered until he was in front of me. His mouth moved, mimicking my name with such rage I could almost hear him screaming through the deafening air and thickness of glass. I shuddered and screamed, jolting my head back and feeling a surge swell into my chest. My vision doubled and I stared him down again. "Stand down," I said aloud, knowing he could only piece together my lip movements.

"Your actions dictate your fate," I read from him.

"Then let me chase it!" I retorted.

"You're chasing an illusion!" He snarled.

"Only because you don't know what it is."

"Do you?"

"Yes."

"Liar."

I didn't respond. He wouldn't understand. Kuja hardly had family. He had a clan of persons built like him. In the end, he was nothing but a cold, unfeeling machine. Wanting to drink in every feeling I gave him only for the satisfaction of feeling.

Bitterness quickly morphed to anger. But before I could do anymore damage, I turned and sped off toward the north. Anything to evade this hungry beast of destruction. My head pounded from the velocity. To distract my head from the movements, I reached for the map I had shoved into my pocket and pinpointed my location from Lindblum using the sunlight.

I overheard Cid talking about a place called Ipsen's Castle. That would be my first guess. Time pressed against me. Kuja would follow. And possibly kill me. But that was alright. I could still hold my own. I would not be defeated by his hands.

Progressing through the cloudy skies, I rode toward Forgotten Continent. Northwest. On the tip of the peninsula. I would do my best to make it before sundown. Much to my relief, the journey was quiet. Sunset began just as I landed on the strange, red soil outside the massive, upside down castle.

Vincent, Shelke and I had journeyed south of here several years ago during my search for Kuja. Oeilivert was full of mysterious technology. I suspected this place had strange powers too. I remembered Ember mentioning something about this place long ago. A place that reverses the effect of power. Weak becomes strong. I wondered how this would affect my strength alone. I didn't need a weapon if I could help it. The mist was long gone, but who knew what horrors had nestled inside an undisturbed fortress?

Stepping forward, I climbed the long rail of stairs that led to the entrance. Nothing was more confusing than Desert Palace. Despite what rumors would be told of other castles, I wouldn't believe it. There was no place more desolate than there.

Reaching for the knocker on the large double doors, I hesitated. For Ferris. For Julian.

Gripping the silver metal of the handle, a chill ran through me. I wondered if it was the cold beneath my hands or if it were something else. Turning to look behind me, I stared up into two, piercing, cold, blue eyes.

Inches from him, I could feel the electric resonance of his disapproval. The unfailing anger that pulsed through him. Leaning back into the door, I felt my stomach knot. The heel of my boot knocked into the door behind me. I had no more room to retreat. Uncertainty clawed at my insides.

He took a step closer. The palm of his hand braced itself beside my head. Being unable to read his expression which ever remained a dominant glare left me trembling. All the power I was told I held seemed like a spark beneath his scrutinous gaze.

Breath caressed my face. I winced, finally breaking the sight-filled hold he had on my focus. Icy hands gripped my chin until it burned and I was forced to look up. I tensed and slapped his hand from my chin. If I cowered under him every time he tried to control me, I would forfeit my freedom again. This regression had to end.

Once free, I turned and yanked the door open, closing it hard behind me.

"Terra!" he roared.

My palms shook against the obsidian obstruction. Breath quivered from my lips. It was almost too easy to regress back to submission. Something I vowed to the faces of so many I'd never give up.

Loud pounding echoed on the other side of the door which was growing hotter by the second. I jumped back, watching as embers sparked over the threshold. Backing away, I tried to find a stance of balance. My weight shifted completely to my back foot which fell through the floor. Granite cracked and broke to the base of the lower level, pulling me with it. My body slipped through almost completely. Bracing my gut against the rubble coated floor, my arms scraped against the floor, cutting against the sharp edges.

Another blast at the door shook the room and I lost my grip and fell into the abyss below. Blackness devoured my sight. A square of light vanishing from the zenith of sight and fading into that hungry darkness.

_~Tears of Rejuvenation~_

_"Terra, why won't you amuse me?"_

Heavy links of metal ran over my fingertips. I stared into nothing. Avoiding his question.

_"Come on. Make me laugh."_

I closed my eyes.

_"Just your voice is enough."_

A deep breath filled my lungs.

_"Plead for your life."_

And then escaped the same way.

_"I'll show you the empire I've constructed for you."_

My knees ached from my weight.

_"Or are you more interested in the cage of your eternal imprisonment?"_

I swallowed.

_"Isn't it easier just to accept defeat?"_

My eyes snapped open and I glared at Mateus.

He smirked.

I moved to stand.

He laughed.

Those wretched chain links yanked me down to my knees.

Long nails stroked my cheek. I moved to evade his hand.

_"You don't have to feel pain."_

Baring my teeth, I growled. Just like the animal I was tethered as.

_"My, such a temper."_

It was then I realized I sat in a large throne room. Right beside the middle seat on the floor at the top of a set of stairs. This place was a castle... but I didn't expect HIM to be here.

_"I even healed you... Is that any way to treat your master? Growling and hissing like an animal."_

Raising a hand to the back of my head, I felt my dry hair. A small scar covered the once bloody cut. As for my arms, no recent abrasions were apparent.

"You're not real..." I mumbled.

_"Then how can you hear me?" _He moved before my vision. _"See me?" _He placed a gentle hand on my wrist and held it there. _"Feel me?"_

I jerked my arm away. "What is your purpose for binding me?"

_"You're the Arbitrator. If I let you go, you can send me away. I don't want that. And neither do you. You must know the truth. Of your people. Your ancestors. Your dear Cosmos..."_

"I'm not affiliated with her."

_"But you are affiliated with the Terrans. And it's sickening to know you've fallen for your half-uncle."_

"I hate him..."

_"Oh? Why's that?"_ The concern in his voice confused me.

"I don't know. Maybe the fact that he's trying to kill me?" I looked up challengingly.

He chuckled. _"Understandable. Deeply understandable. You trust him, or you did. Why don't you tell him how much you hate him?"_

"It doesn't matter."

_"But he KNOWS you. He's defiled your being."_

I hissed. "How would you know!"

_"You're with child."_

I paled. "What! How can you even tell such a thing?"

_"I can see a second stream of energy leading from your core. The Arbitrator is one soul. Not two. Besides, isn't it precious? Of course, you should know. You'll die. Your kind can't reproduce with the same race. Terrans are built. Not born. You're part mechanism."_

I could only focus on my breathing. That's all I wanted to know. Single wisps of shaky breath proved him wrong to me. I was alive. Not a machine. But... mother was so... so protective of me. And father... well... what if I was built? Then how could I be with child? Did they incorporate those parts in me? I suddenly felt ill and light-headed. I had to stop believing everything that Mateus said. It did horrible things to my head.

"Stop it."

_"Stop what? Stop revealing to you things which you question? Am I not doing you a charity? I'm telling you this on the sincere hope that you'll understand yourself, Terra. Haven't I always thought of you despite the role your soul promises to its keeper?"_

I said nothing.

_"Do you want to know what's inside that sphere beneath your lungs? The lost chapters of your late father? Isn't that also on your mind? With my current status I can tell you. I can see each image repeated in that little orb. And relay it back in detail."_

Another breath in. I was real. Glancing to him, I waited. He may as well spit out any cock-and-bull story he had cooked up while I waited in chains beside him.

_"Once upon a time, there was a black-haired farmer boy in search of something greater to do with his life. Growing up in Dali, he stowed away on an airship bound for Lindblum. Upon arrival, he was caught in the airship hangar and taken directly to the Regent who was much younger at the time. Vesper Evans was an aspiring young lad who had quite the mouth on him. And even more so, the bite to back it up. Cid Fabool considered this potentious youth and placed him under the command of the Naval Captain Ridel Steiner who whipped the boy into shape just in time to venture north toward the Outer Continent. Upon arrival, the sailors beheld the great paintings shown in the sacred walls of the shrine. To contain their power and expand the empire of Lindblum, they raided the village and stole the stones the once great summoners held dear. Of course, they left the locals with something to defend themselves with._

_"With the village decimated, they left. Offering no help or condolences for the loss of their family or possessions. Many were still alive, but their soldiers lay slain. With the bounty collected, the sailors divided the treasure and dispersed upon return to Lindblum. One by one, they were mysteriously picked off, leaving the gemstones in various locations. Sometimes monsters would pick them up. And sometimes the earth would reclaim them. Piece by piece was lost. Until Vesper was on the mark. He stayed within the walls of Lindblum, declaring his loyalty to the Regent. And he lived on until he found the love of his life. Married... and had two sons. Of one of the sons, he gave one of the gemstones. Of the other, he taught his trade. Two more sons were born. Twins. Of the eldest he gave the second gemstone. Eventually, due to tragic circumstances, his love died. And then, not too soon after, a young Terran was deposited onto Gaia. Someone he fell in love with. With her, he brought a lovely, young rose into being. One of dark hair and blue eyes. A fair child with a heavy burden. One born of two worlds. Something unheard of... which is still considered to be the work of alchemy."_

So my father did kill summoners. But that didn't make him a murderer. He acted on orders. Didn't that exclude him from that burden? I had seen him in that world of Inferiad. He seemed happy.

"Is that all?" I managed to ask, trying not to let his words persuade my current knowledge.

_"The paraphrased version. And just like your father. You too are a murderer."_

"Of what?"

Doors opened and in walked an armored soldier. He stood before Mateus's throne and then knelt, crossing his arm over his chest in a bow.

_"The people of Esthar. Ultimecia, Chandersin, and their followers. As well as Kraizule regardless if he's alive. You assisted in their deaths."_

The armored knight rose and I stared into a pair of gentle, green eyes hidden behind a curtain of black hair.

If I could stand, I would have leapt. "Julian!" I cried, pulling against the chains.

He looked at me and then dragged his eyes back to Mateus. "I have done as you have ordered, my master."

Mateus grinned broadly. _"Splendid. You may commence preparations."_

Julian looked to me and then approached. I backed away, feeling an aura of darkness that made my head spin. He picked up the trail of chain links that bound my hands and dragged me to my feet.

He dragged me down a pathway of darkness, not saying a word as he led the way to that which was unknown to my future.


	6. Light of Lies

_**A/N: Hi. This chapter is shorter than usual. WAY shorter. But I like where it stopped. :3 And I'm an evil kitty. Because. I. Don't. Want. To. Give. Spoilers. Yet. :3 Questions? Well, I can't answer them. Probably. Comments? Slam me. Reviews? Welcome. ;3 If you hate it, that's okay. Thanks for reading. Next chapter in progress!**_

_**-Mayris  
**_

We walked all the way down the hall. At one point I wished we were back in our childhood and he would lead me to the market to look at all the merchants and their wares. I missed those days when we had little on our agenda and could waste the day away talking and laughing. Now I wondered if any part of him would still enjoy laughing. His expression seemed so vacant.

More importantly, what did Mateus mean by 'preparations'. The thought made me uneasy. Waking up chained next to him only made it worse. How did he get here? Why? And why was Julian here? Why was he listening to Mateus? Why...? WHY? Mateus managed to drag my family into our dispute. I wanted to see him boiled alive now. Hear his screaming voice as it went crashing down into his liver. Even then it would be a pleasant sight. Him begging for his life. I wanted that image. So I savored it instead of breaking down in my brother's grasp.

As we neared a flight of descending stairs, I jerked my hands back, forcing Julian to stumble. "Why?" I demanded.

He stared at me blankly. And then turned his head away.

I wouldn't be ignored. "Julian... I've been worried about you. We ALL have. What happened?"

"He got sick..."

"You mean Ferris, right?" He didn't answer. Just stared at the floor as if it would slip out from under his feet. "Then why are you trusting that man to help you? Why do you listen to him like a beaten dog? What's wrong with you? Can't you tell he's dangerous?" I ranted, glaring up at him.

"Didn't Ember and I tell you the same about the silver-haired man you spoke of?"

"Kuja? I..." I looked down, thinking about his recent behavior. "I should have listened..."

"Are you having regrets then?"

"Yes..." I could feel my own voice crack as I tried to ignore the hot tears building in my eyes.

He rounded on me and smiled widely. "Good. Pain suits you."

"What's your defect!" I screamed, grabbing for his shoulders.

Glaring, he grabbed the chain, yanked it forward and cleared the stairs, sending me to stumble down the flight. Upon impact, my ankle twisted painfully until a snap sent it numb. Putting my hands in front of me, I attempted to break my fall on the way down. Unfortunately, the velocity I traveled nothing would stop my fall.

The sickening crack of my wrist upon impact made me scream in alarm. And then more pain shot up to my shoulder before reaching my head where my heartbeat deafened all else.

Hindered and helpless, I lay on the stone stairs only able to listen as Julian approached my sprawled form. Carefully, he lifted me off the floor like a porcelain doll and carried me all the way down the stairs, muttering healing spells as he went. My ankle clicked back into place slowly followed by my wrist. Coldness spread through my aching limbs as if to quell the painful pulses of discomfort. Staring up into the stern face of the gentle brother whom I hadn't seen in years calmed me. Regardless of what he believed or behaved, I was glad to see him. The one who knew me best.

The word _preparations _bubbled to the surface of my thoughts again. And again I ignored it. I didn't want to think of what evil might transpire while I waited in the captive hands of another power-hungry serpent. I would fight my way out... and return to Alexandria with my family.

For now though, I would bide my time.

_~FFIX~ Tears of Rejuvenation~_

When I could finally walk, Julian set me down and continued leading me down the stairs. We entered a room that glowed a deep blue. I hesitated, knowing that color of light did strange things to me.

Julian stopped when I refused to continue. "What is it, Terra?" he turned back. A smile covered his face.

"Nothing..." I said quietly. At once I was drawn to a calm out of my control... Something I knew was dangerous. My vision doubled and then quadrupled as I tapped into a power which flowed freely in the next room. As Julian pushed the door open, a blue crystal grew to a blinding light. I saw it in full. Its luminance and its core. Its continuous pulse of life that surrounded and devoured the room.

The crystal is sick. Matter seemed to eat at its center.

As if Julian read my mind, he pushed me forward. "Heal it..."

"What?" I turned and looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "It's a crystal. Isn't it supposed to heal me, instead?"

He glowered. "Don't try and act stupid, Terra. We both know what you are. The Arbitrator. Surely with your judgment powers you can heal this energy."

Where did he hear that? Healing energy seemed impossible. Almost fictitious. Or absurd. "I can't heal energy!"

"Then I'll kill you," he drew a saber. I tried not to laugh. Julian had never touched a sword in his life! Nevertheless, I reached out my hand and called for my staff.

Eyes closed, I felt the warmth encompass my hand, but felt no metal beneath my fingers. Nor did I feel its weight pull at my arm. I tried again, pushing all but its image from my thoughts.

A light chuckle filled the room. "Can't summon your precious stave? Your dear magic has been locked. Seems your grandfather did something quite naughty..."

I narrowed my eyes and took a step back. "What do you mean?"

He grinned and held up a small, blue sphere. "This is not only a memory sphere, but a draw point. Mateus took the liberty of removing it from your body when you were brought here."

A wave of ice ran over me at the thought. "He... removed my father's memories? How?"

Julian pulled the left flap of his coat out and took out a small pocket watch and tossed it to me. My hands shook and I barely caught it. Reading the inscriptions written beneath the dials, I read the date. Three days had passed. But they all seemed like minutes.

Question number one almost came out in gibberish as I hastened to ask, "Why don't I recall that lost time?"

Answer, "Time is a suspicious creature. Something ungauged by human thought. Or in your case, Terran. For thousands of years the souls who would inherit your mother's body were locked in capsules, unaware of their destruction. Surely when you dream, time feels like it stops and then resumes when you wake. How long do you believe you've been dreaming? Did you really wake up yet? Or after you were recalled from that place that idiot Cid Fabool calls _Inferiad_ did you rejoin your beloved in life? Or say, there was a siege upon the castle and I killed my dearest big brother Ember."

"Stop!"

He laughed. "Why? Is it that hard to bear the thought? Family ties can be so easily broken. Like a spinner's string hanging from shrapnel. Delicately woven and then shredded at the blades of swords. So much love and effort placed in those beautiful strands only to be torn up by the weapons we liberally wield."

"So you've cut yourself off from our bloodlines then?"

"Blood does not determine family. Even you should know this, black sheep."

"How dare you call me that?" I was shaking so much I was almost seeing double. "All you've done... everything... how could I still call you my brother?"

"Now, now... I never admitted I killed Ember or severed family ties. I merely gave it a possibility. All could be just fine back in Lindblum. So well, indeed, that everyone may have forgotten about you. How much do you think you're worth to the one that proclaims his love to you? Did he not try to kill you when you entered Ipsen's Castle? The door had to be replaced with heavy magics. And if that attack were aimed at you, all that remained would be ashes."

"I've faced worse."

"Aye, but from a loved one?"

I sighed. "What are you trying to say?"

"After all you've done to find him, he can only return your affection with anger. He declared he would kill you, did he not? Were you not branded with the mark of death upon your neck? The Arbitrator shall evade death until the end of their time, whatever that would be. But what if you're the harbinger? Do you not judge others unto death?"

"What does that have to do with Kuja!"

"Everything. The loop that leads back to your demise and destiny. All your fears and your scars. Everything you've gained and all you've lost. You let him have you. You let him know you. Deeper than you've let anyone. But it seems he under-appreciates that privilege."

He drew nearer. I felt the wall at my back. Why was I always retreating. Though I stood weaponless, I never retreated before! I lunged into battle. Had I grown a fear of fighting? Was I tired of diving through the flames to battle that which took up the challenge?

To stay this fear, I stepped forward. To my surprise, Julian pointed his sword to the ground and opened his arms as if to welcome me. "Have I not done everything I could to protect you?"

This was a familiar Julian. One I knew and was used to. Slowly, I stepped forward. And then placed one hand on his shoulder, testing for tension. None. As if pushed by an anvil, I leaned into his chest, letting out a sigh. He slowly placed his arms around me.

"There now. Isn't that better?"

I nodded.

"Now, if you want clear sight, you can have that power. All you need to do is heal the crystal..."

I blinked. Would healing the crystal really do that? "But... you said you'd kill me just to get me to do it."

"I'd kill you to protect you from the worst, wouldn't I?"

"From the worst, yes. So... healing the crystal would... clear my head of all that was tampered with... when I was chosen by Cosmos... to become the Arbitrator?"

"In essence, yes. You would be free from your judgment duties."

"I wouldn't... be the Arbitrator anymore?"

"Yes. All of your pain would end. And all the clarity you need would be given."

I stared into the deep, hypnotizing blue. Was this... what I was looking for? I know I came here for my brothers, but the bane of my calling weighed so heavily. Without it I could live normally for the first time since my birth. Isn't that what I'd always strove for? But how selfish was this? Then again, was it selfish to shelve something that might end up destroying all whom I loved.

Whatever the outcome, I would die if I didn't...

Raising my arm, I pushed into the crystal's enclosed wall with my senses. At first, I felt a small pulse of pain in my head. But it left quickly, replaced with a warm, drawing sensation. So all of my magic hadn't been locked away. I only had my Arbitrator powers. However... without them, I had nothing to fight with. But then Mateus wouldn't go after me as much as he did. It was well worth a shot. Maybe he'd even let me go. And then fight over the crystal and its properties.

I found the sickly core again and cupped it in my hands. It was heavy... and pulling. I could barely hold on without getting sucked in. Then I opened the power reserve. The core drank hungrily, but refused satisfaction. Widening the flux, I surrendered more and more.

And then I felt my body slow for a fragment. And then hasten. Time magic! As I tried to close the gap, the core wrapped around my neck and continued to pull as much as it could from me. It gripped my hands until they numbed.

Liquid dripped from my mouth and onto my hands. Blood. I... couldn't breathe. And I didn't even feel it! Finally quenched of its thirst, the core dropped my body and then phased red. I stared up at the ceiling... something about swords played in my head.

_"This is a dagger, Terra. Shortswords are called daggers. There are longer ones. Broadswords are wielded with two hands. While katanas take more than just your arms to wield."_

_"Daddy, aren't swords dangermerous?"_

_"Yes, of course. But that doesn't mean that they don't protect you either."_

Julian stood over me, sword still drawn.

_"But doesn't icky, red stuff pop out when they touch you?"_

_"Well yes. And when that happens, it's really bad. If you ever get hurt by one and that icky, red stuff pops out of you... just shout my name and I'll be there to show you how a sword should be used, okay?"_

_"Okay!"_

The sword raised above my head and danced between Julian's fingers. Catching it in his hand, he plunged it into my chest.

I gasped. And then stared up at Julian. _"Daddy..."_

_~FFIX~ Tears of Rejuvenation~_

How could she have not seen the dragon! It followed her all the way to Ipsen's! It had even attached itself to her airship! As he was trying to tell her to stop, she said something strange. And completely misunderstood him!

He finally got her attention as she lay against the wall of the door. He wondered if she had gone mad. A long burn lay across his back from the fire it spat at her. He finally managed to dodge the fire, letting her escape to the inside... And then... the dragon flew off. Why hadn't it stayed? And why was its target Terra? He searched the skies and the grounds, hunched over the helm of the airship. He would find it and interrogate it. At least he still remembered how to commune with them. Maybe he'd get a few answers as to her behavior as well.

Sunlight blinked off of red, velvety wings to the south. His heart lept when he saw the twinkle. As quickly as the ship would fly, he headed for the beast and soon had it within range. Slamming his hand down on the circuit board, he launched a harpoon into the creature's wing, letting it go a little and then yanking the poor flying creature back.

Locking the helm in place with anchor chains, he left the ship out onto deck and flew toward the trapped dragon.

With a booming voice, he demanded, "What is thy conquest!"

A loud roar answered his bellowing. "Master has set me free of my duties."

"What were your duties?"

"Bring the Arbitrator to Ipsen's Castle. Illusions were my tactic."

Honesty. This dragon still possessed that. He'd found a reliable source.

"Who is your master?"

"The second-born of Vesper."

Kuja's eyes widened. The second-born was Julian. The child missing. So he was alive. But why would he bring the Arbitrator, Terra, to Ipsen's Castle. From what Terra told him of Julian, he was a kind, gentle soul. There was no reason for him to betray her. Their family ties may as well be made of metal. She trusted him with her life...

Confused, but ashamed of harming the dragon, he pulled the harpoon out and healed the bleeding wound.

_~FFIX~ Tears of Rejuvenation~_

"She did _What_!" Cid asked sharply, turning to the guardsman who seemed to shake at his tone.

"M-Miss Evans stormed into the airship hangar and flew off into one of the prototype vessels..." he repeated.

"And you _Let_ her?" his glare could burn through paper.

The guard gulped. "W-we saw Master Tribal following her out."

His face reddened to that of a strawberry. "Did Mr. Tribal bring her back?"

"W-we haven't seen him, Regent," he gripped his harpoon tightly in unease.

Cid paced before him. Each turn of his heel sharp and loud as the wind caught his royal robe. He stared up at the paintings of his predecessors, wondering what they would do in this situation. Without any divine inspiration, he sighed and shook his head. "Send the Royal Naval fleet. She's gone to Ipsen's Castle."

Just as he gave the command, the doors burst open, revealing a blood-stained, panting Kuja with a look of utter rage plastered over his face. "Dragons..." he breathed, stomping through the hall.

"What?" Cid started, alarmed to see him alone and in the state he was.

"He's coercing DRAGONS!" he roared, storming past them.

Cid lost all interest in the guard and followed Kuja. "What do you mean?" He raced to keep up with his large gait.

"Julian, Terra's brother-the one that went missing along with the younger-is coercing dragons to do his bidding!" They rounded the corner and Kuja jumped onto the lift. Cid had to leap in order to catch the flight as Kuja messed with the controls before he was completely on-board himself. They rose to the top level and he stormed off into the conference room.

His former nemeses waited in the room, talking amongst themselves. Some were already preparing to head out and look for Terra. Kuja ignored all of them and walked right up to Garnet, dropping to one knee and bowing his head before her. "I require your assistance, My Queen."

Garnet blinked. "Umm... How can I assist you?"

He looked up to her. "I need your Eidolons..."

Zidane tensed. Steiner's hand pressed against the hilt of his sword. Freya stepped beside Garnet. Eiko flung her hands to her hips. Quina licked its lips with its large tongue. Amarant clenched his saucer-sized fists.

The spark of past greed from the sentence burrowed deep in his eyes. Battles of the past that transpired over those woeful years sizzled through the room set by everyone's former expressions. Here before them knelt the Angel of Death begging the Queen of Alexandria for help from the one thing that started the gambit of destruction across all of Gaia. Suspicions rose. Had he even quenched his thirst for the wondrous properties the Eidolons possessed? Was his romance with Terra a cover for his lustrous ways in which he acquired power?

All eyes waited on him. Waiting for him to make his defense. He simply stared up at Garnet, waiting for her to answer his plea...


	7. Ruined Legacy

_**A/N: Again, been a while. I've been trying to push this chapter out for some time, but my computer access is strictly limited. However, now that it's out, I feel I could have done a lot better with it. Writing has become a lot of work, but that doesn't mean I won't do it. My current job likes to sap my time. Now I'll be starting at the University of Oklahoma, so even less time I might have. I'll hopefully be able to finish the next chapter within the next month or so. I believe there are at least two more chapters left in this trilogy. Then it's done! :D Thanks to all those who've been sticking it out to the end. It means a lot to me. I must finish this story. It's already complete in my head, but to put it on paper would mean that I can actually finish a second piece of my work, albeit not original, but something. I've realized that I write more when I'm in school. Perhaps a distraction from the homework assigned, but it's always been a comfort to be able to pull out a pen and notebook and jot down all my chapters for this fic on paper. I've done it with every chapter. At least written a summary of the chapter. Anyway... happy reading!**_

_**~Mayris  
**_

* * *

Swirls of fog raised overhead like a docking port on a cold night at sea. A muggy air sealed the evening sky which streamed grey, wispy clouds over a creamy moon. Wind fluttered against my hair strewn about my face. A weight pushed against my stomach, rocking to and fro in a seesaw game that felt like sea sickness.

A crescent of gold bounced up and down against the unlit horizon like a tree ornament batted lightly by a curious child.

Propping myself onto my elbows, I sat up just to have the weight shift onto my hips. I came eye to eye with a young, blond boy clad in a white shirt and khaki shorts.

He smiled as if the sun winked at him. "You woke up!" he squealed, jumping about and punching the air. "Mommy's awake!"

I could not help but smile. He reminded me of Elario, the boy in which my family took in along with Autumn and Hana. "Yes, I am awake," I giggled.

He turned and tackled me in a tight embrace. "Mommy!" He nuzzled my hair.

Mommy? I carefully pried him off. "I... I'm not your mommy..." I said slowly and carefully.

The smile only widened. "Yes, you are!" Stubbornness proved that he would not be dissuaded by any extent.

"I... I don't have any children..."

He shook his head. "You **are **my mommy. The pretty lady said so."

"Lady?"

He pointed to the edge of the jetty we sat on. A lovely maiden draped her legs over the water and bowed her head.

Though far away she emanated grief. A grief heavy enough to traverse the air around. What caused such great pain? Almost one that seared me at just a glance.

I stood with effort and started toward this beauty. Golden hair fell around her in the moonlight giving rays of palor-rich light. I wondered if she held the gift of the Siren by how much I was drawn to her and how much her grief repelled me. A beckoning by a gentle tug... and a repulsion by a swift, unseen backhand; a wave of sorrow. But no song swam from her lips...

As I came closer, I narrowed my eyes in wonder. How much she looked like the boy beside me was remarkable despite the fact of how much the boy cleaved to my palm with his tiny fingers wrapped taut around it.

Finally within reach, I stopped and drew in a slow gasp, feeling the warmth of my blood leaving me frozen in shock. I dropped the boys hand and ran toward her. Her breaths came with great effort.

"Cosmos..." I muttered through threats of tears, dropping beside her and taking her shaking, cold hand.

Blue eyes drifted into mine, darting over the details of my irises. I did the same, looking for a sign of prolonged life. "Terra..." she gasped through shudders.

"What happened to you?" I couldn't stop shaking. Seeing her in this state made me feel... so helpless.

"You gave up order. I took the blame."

"Blame? What blame?"

"To ignore one's calling... and set lose a gift powerful enough to judge the great... can cause the world to collapse in the wrong hands. Because of your sin, you've been banished here."

"I... I thought my duty was over..." I swallowed, knowing that if I cried, I wouldn't be able to converse properly.

"A being's duty is never complete until they die. You never cease to be a sister or a daughter. Just like he," she motioned to the boy, "will never cease to be your son."

The child smiled warmly.

"But... I never conceived..." I countered.

"You died with child. His spirit sought you here. He is rightfully your son. Yours and Kuja's; the son of the Angel of Death."

"Oh..." I looked to the boy. The warmth of the sun filled within me and I reached out and scooped him up into my arms. "I..." my voice cracked. "I'm glad... I got to take a piece of him with me... And I'm glad... to have you here..." I said to him. My body shook now with tears as I held him close. My greatest treasure.

This moment beccame more than enough for me. I pulled him away to get a better look at him. He had red eyes; like my fathers. And blond, cropped hair; like my mother's. The same devious smirk I'd grown to love reflected on his face.

"See? I told you so," he said with an evil grin.

"I'll accept responsibility for that terrible mistake of disbelieving you."

Cosmos smiled at the two of us. Though I could see her eyes glisten with unshed tears. Fully attentive, I signalled for her to tell me what triggered her sadness.

"I have failed. You lost. It wasn't supposed to turn out this way." She talked more to the wide expanse of water before us than to me.

Closing my eyes, I offered a sigh of regret. When she spoke again her voice was different. Muffled and distorted. She spoke in and out of frequency, her words stringing forward in formation then bending backward in distortion like a time flux. Her mouth moved when I finally looked back to her. What was I hearing?

As I thought this, her voice plummeted deeper; masculinesque. I blinked. What brought about this change?

"-gone through ye files and it seems ye qualify for this mission."

Her face morphed and stretched, changing to that of a man. Cosmos' form stood and she approached me, standing much taller than her normal stature. A giantess whos structure changed until her shoulders broadened and her torso grew.

With the transformation complete, I stood before a bearded and uniformed officer who beamed with delight at me.

Clothing shuffled behind me and I torned only to gaze almost nose to nose with Vesper. Only he appeare dmuch younger and had a bandage over his cheek.

"Thank you, Captain," Vesper saluted. "I'll make preparations immediately."

The captain laughed heartily. "C'mon, Evans! Loosen up!" He gave a sloppy salute. "Ye just escaped a scrap and ye acting like ye got a stick up yer ass! Mayhaps someone can lodge it out of ye?" he gaffawed.

Vesper tightened his lips in sourness. What kind of crude captain had they put him under.

"Wipe that sneer off ye face, Evans. Doesn't suit ye. And ye'll learn to have fun with the crew once ye relax. They don't like ootsiders, so keep your trap shut and laugh with 'em. Ne'er at them. Ne'er laugh when they don't. Might insult 'em. And drop that pride ye picked up after that scrap. It ain't good for ye. Lighten up. Voyage starts tomorrow. Be at the docks one hour ere dawn."

Vesper nodded and gave a small salute.

In return Captain Borghen rolled his eyes and gave a sloppy salute. He would learn, wouldn't he, I wondered.

A hallway formed around the three of u. One in which my fther turned and marched away through. I followed hastily. Why couldn't he see me? As I rounded a corner I nearly smacked into him. Reaching out my hand to touch his shoulder, my fingers slid through his body like air. He gave no sign of feeling and thus failed to react.

"Dad? What are you doing here? Why can't I touch you?"

No answer.

He glided down the halls until turning left into a room of noisy men tossing clothing and papers about while chatting and munching on a box of goodies.

"Oi! Cappi's bitch is back!" one of them shouted.

At once they pelted piles of clothing at him which he failed to dodge. A shirt and a pair of underpants hung unceremoniously over his head.

"One scuffle and he's already got you licking his boots. Though I can't say he's wrong. Broke the chap's arm, ye did! Got away with a small cut. Now that's luck for ye!" Laughter lightly brushed the room.

Vesper removed the garments from his head and tossed them aside. "I'm going to accompany all of you on the next voyage."To the Northern Lands?" another asked, peering up from a book with disgust.

"Aye," nodded Vesper.

From the back of the room there was a distinct grunt and shuffle of feet. Heavy boots grated the floor and shook the room with each solid step. Everyone silenced at once like the halt of a chorus. A giant draped in a grey sea coat that chased his ankles approached Vesper. He grinned, showing his teeth in amusement. Railed breathing could be heard throughout the room. "First new recruit in seven months and he's selected for voyage not even a day after his selection trial?" he grunted disapprovingly. "Doesn't even know what he's in for."

Murmurs of agrement escalated in the room.

"I do!" he interjected, face red from irritation.

The man's glare centered on Vesper, challenging him to speak against his word.

"I do know," Vesper breathed deeply, holding his head high to level his gaze with this giant. "We're exploring the Northern Lands to obtain knowledge of the north cultures. To expand our influence and obtain theirs; bring it back to Lindblum and distibute it among our own people."

Insults and uncontrolled laughter roared around him. Now some of the men threw whatever they could at him. Paper, clothing, armor and even weapons. With a laugh, the giant took him by the shoulder and wrist, holding him still. In one swift movement, he jerked Vesper's arm toward him with an audible snap which made Vesper tremble without sound.

I winced and tried to pry the giant's hand from my father's wrist only to have my fingers pass through them both again and again until my panic turned to frustration. With a sharp yell, I glared up to the giant and raised my fist, connecting it with the base of his jaw.

To my astonishment he faltered and let go, staring with a dazed expression at the empty air before his eyes. Jeers of excitement and chants of enthusiasm erupted from the now-borne crowd which had started fighting amongst its comrades.

Vesper escaped before they could finish him off, slipping through the bunks like a cat on the run from hounds. His body moved like liquid over tables and chairs and around bed poles.

I continued to stare at my fist, confused as to how-after being unable to touch anything here-I made contact with the giant whose face was developing a knuckle shaped bruise beneath his crimson beard.

So as to not lose track of my father, I turned and started after him. We were in Lindblum Grand Castle, I determined from the royal family crest along the hall and the bird's eye lookout point that revealed the city at twilight.

On he walked leading the way up to the highest point of the lone tower we traversed, bracing his shoulder with his free, uninjured hand. Finally outside on the balcony he plopped himself against a stone pillar and looked up to the sky with tears in his eyes.

The bulge in his shirt foretold the fact that his shoulder had been dislocated. Sitting beside him I looked up to where he stared. Above us was the Summer Triangle; Vega, Denub, and Altair.

For the first time since I'd ended up here with my father, he smiled. Laughed even. His euphoria grew louder until he clenched his teeth and threw his shoulder back into place with a deep grunt. A single tear rolled down his joyful face that hid the glossy-eyed stare of despair.

Just like that the world vanished into ash, burning away from the center of my vision to the outer layers of my peripheral view. An abstract scene of the night sky rippled into nothingness.

"Mommy?" came the echoed call of my son from the darkness.

_~FFIX~ Tears of Rejuvenation~_

Something glinted at the tip of Julian's rapier as he started to dislodge the metal from his sister's bosom. He narrowed his eyes in the dimness, gazing into the bloody abyss where the last pulses of her heart continued futilely to pump blood into her hardening veins. He knelt, pressing his gloved hand against the edge of the abrasion, tugging the flesh open a little farther, aware of the bones protruding against his fingers. Her sternum poked up at an odd angle as if something had imploded just below her chest.

The metallic smell of her blood thickened the air around her, infiltrating his nostrils to the point where he felt sick.

Pushing two fingers into the wound, he clutched the reflective glint between them and carefully pulled the shard of what felt like glass out. He inspected the smooth surface of its outer shell which resembled a broken crystal. Could this be the real source of what Lord King Mateus believed to be called the Arbitrator? Whatever it meant he merely repeated the words he was instructed. He truly knew nothing of the Arbitrator or its properties and just accepted its existence as a mechanism of ultimate judgment.

He was about to inspect the opening for more shards until the one between his fingers pulsed with the life of an otherworldly heartbeat. Streams of metallic light embraced his wrist and traveled up his arm, snugly wrapping itself like a snake as it coiled toward his neck. He panicked, sending a cry to pierce the stagnant air and hurled the shard from his hands where it merely hovered in place to taunt him as he flailed about trying to free himself. The air came in gasps as the metal pushed closer to his neck, threading more streams up his body to brace itself through his struggling. The metal held tighter, threatening deep lacerations and cutting off blood flow to his arm as he clawed at the lethal device.

Air flowed thinly through his pinched trachea. His lungs hysterically demanded oxygen to feed the fear sinking through his shaking body. With not enough to meet demand, all he could register was the solitary glow of blue light in the center of the room where the crystal which fed his sister's life energy lazily pulsed. A newborn star taking its first few breaths outside of its mortal vessel like an infant eager to walk;o eager to use its unsung voice but patient enough to emit the same pure, unwavering signa again and again to its own melodious metronome. These were his thoughts as his knees smacked against the ground and he came eye to eye with that glorious beauty; the same hypnotic sphere that caged the newborn star.

From behind this great wonder a figure disshelved itself from the inner wall of the room, making its way toward him until she came into visibility beside the orb. At once Julian remembered himself and bowed his forehead, bumping it against the floor. The tendrils of her elongated fingers stroked the sphere lustfully.

Julian opened his mouth to speak as he glanced up, but she had vanished. "Gone?" he wheezed, clutching the metallic streams that had morphed into the shape of snakes and pressed themselves deeper into his temples. Hot iron grazed his skull and then pierced through, leaving him screaming into deafness beside the corpse of the woman he betrayed.

_**~FFIX~ Tears of Rejuvenation~**_

I found him. Whatever else happened didn't matter because of this discovery. And now I vowed that until I felt better, I would not relinquish hold of him. My treasure.

"Mom," he whined. "You're SQUISHING ME!" He tried to push me off with both hands, but I refused to let go and refused to open my eyes. That scene... vision... had been so sudden and everything had changed so quickly that I did not long for it to happen again until I knew for sure that all was well again. At least as much as it should be. He sighed and patted my back. It did well to calm my neurotic state enough so I could let go.

"You stared into nothing forever. I couldn't wake you this time! Nothing worked!" His voice and body shook as he retold the events. I had gotten used to losing consciousness... if I hadn't, I'm sure I'd have a panic attack by now and even lose all sense of sanity.

"I visited my father." Simply put, I thought.

"Grandpa?"

"Heh, yeah. He spoke little of his time as a sailor when he was alive. Come to think of it, he told me nothing but his life as a blacksmith. I was young when he passed. He spent much of his time graphing and designing new models for swords. And then even more time crafting his masterpieces and teaching Uncle Ember all he knew. All I wanted was his love and attention. As a child I mostly focused on what was before me; I never asked about his life before his apprenticeship."

He smiled brightly. "What were you like before you became my mommy?"

I held back my laughter. "Just an ordinary girl." He didn't need all the lovely details of my travels just yet... Later, much later.

"So you're with your daddy when you stare blankly like that?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Okay... but you'd better come back. I'll be the one protecting you if it happens again," he pouted with a sharp crossing of his arms.

With my guardian looking up at me, I wondered how it were possible that I could be seeing these visions on this plane of existence. Garland...? The sphere maybe? Somehow the crystal had to be sifting my father's memories into my head here... Before I could try and piece the how of that circumstance together, the world dissolved, leaving chunks of blackness across my vision.

Impuslively, my hands reached for my son and I hugged him close. But I could soon no longer see, feel, or sense him anywhere.

Vast seas were to my left and an endless desert beside me. I acknowledged it immediately. We were close to, but not near Desert Palace. I turned to see a platoon of soldiers in formation with their hands at their sides taking in the words of their commanding officer who trapsed back and forth over the sandy shore.

"If you meet resistance, take them down. We are not here to negotiate! For the Empire of Lindblum! All must fall under the lead of Cid Fabool VIII!"

I spotted my father in the crowd by his shocked expression. Most of his comrades glanced to him out of the corner of their eyes just to watch his mouth drop. Some chuckled. They had been expecting this. Anger welled within my gut and my gaze snapped to the Captain. How dare he lie to my father! I leaned down, scooping sand into my fist and then threw it at him. It vanished from the air before it had a chance to connect. The captain only blinked and then started them off marching through the barren lands to the northeast.

We walked for half a day before skirting the edges of the mountain. The Captain refused to go through the mountain pass, wanting to avoid alerting anyone of their presence. He had a target. How long had he known of Madain Sari? He was already unbearable enough with his talk of bloodshed. It was hard to quell any distaste I had for the man. If only I could touch him, make him feel my anger; but I knew that would only cause a great discord in time. There was a reason why I was only allowed to speculate memories. Good thing too.

The Summoner's village was much larger than I had ever known it. Almost as vast as Lindblum even. We walked right into the village. Bright eyes of the natives blinked up at the force, darting from their armor to the weapons dangling at their waists. The captain took advantage and started shouting commands at the startled people, gathering them together and sending troops to scout those in hiding. Everyone was treated horribly; no restraint was even used for those who lacked the strength of defense.

As soon as the commands were issued, resistance began. Wild beasts tore through the air and broke through the ground beneath the platoon's feet, sending some careening into their other comrades. Other beasts stampeded through the streets, knocking down everything in their path as some sunk their teeth into the soldiers and then dragged them wherever they pleased as long as their casters consented.

One in particular jumped at my father, knocking him off his feet and proceeding to claw at his chest. He let out a groan of pain, trying to push the monster from him, but it only lowered its teeth to his arm, biting down hard enough to send blood splattering over his face. "Get off!" he hissed, clenching his teeth tightly to keep his focus on the creature.

My legs were moving before I registered them. But by the time I had reached him, he had drawn his sword with his free hand and proceeded to swipe at the creature's face until it retreated and its caster had dismissed it. He lay there for a moment, keeping his sword at his side as he felt for the wounds on his chest which liberally yielded blood to drench his black shirt. His breathing seemed fine and he just seemed tired. There was little I could do. Though there was too much going on around him. Loud explosions followed by waves of high heat doused the newly born battlefield as people—both soldiers and summoners—were thrown from different sides of the street followed by the creatures that were summoned.

The streets were soon bathed with blood as the soldiers mercilessly drew their blades and cut down everything that put up resistance. However, the summoners acted in kind and brought their own power against the forces of Lindblum. Soon enough each side was scarce in number. My father never stood. Not once. He had closed his eyes and looked quite content, blocking out everything that took place around him. He never had any real friends in his platoon he felt he could care for. And if he resisted the summoners it would be futile.

As the howls of war died down, he cracked his eyes open to greet the setting sun and rose to his feet slowly, dropping his sword and walking out with his hands above his head. He wanted no more of this. A peaceful visit had soured with the captain's unwise decision. That was all. He didn't wish to understand more. He wanted to leave. He heard footsteps behind him. Glancing about, he noted his fellow officers had followed his motion as he walked all the way back to the ship.

On board, not a word was spoken. Some of the mousier of the soldiers clapped him on the shoulder and motioned for him to take the helm. After a brief disclosure, he learned his captain had been killed. They disembarked back to Lindblum in silence. Survival almost felt like the other side of death with how melancholy the air hung about them.

I stood beside my father, watching his expressionless face calculate their destination by the map of the skies as well as the direction of the sunset. He pulled out a compass to check his decision and nodded, turning the helm gently. He could at least return his fellow crew to their homes and families.

"Captain…" one of the soldiers addressed, walking to Vesper.

He glanced over. "Your captain is dead."

"Captain Evans…" he started again.

"I am not YOUR Captain!" he snarled.

Silence hung heavily over them.

Vesper sighed. "I never wanted bloodshed. I sincerely looked forward to good trade with that village. But YOUR Captain saw nothing but an opportunity to Kill and to Steal! He got what he deserved. A land-bound death. Not one at sea. But a grave in the dry dirt of his abhorrence. Isn't that what every sailor fears? Separation from the sea?"

The man blinked, looking like Vesper had just spit between his eyes. "We never wanted this…"

"You all knew! All of you! You and your lot are no better than murderers!" I cringed at the anger in my father's voice. His frame shook with restraint.

The man licked his lips. "We simply followed orders. We could not deviate."

"Then why accept the mission with such lustful hopes? You and your lot sicken me. If you try to wipe his name clean of sin, then I'll order you to walk the plank right now! I'll not travel back with such a disgraceful crew!" Vesper drew his sword and pointed it right at the man's chest.

I backed away instinctively. He rarely drew a sword on anyone. The sailor reacted the same and finally shut his mouth before walking off. With a heavy sigh, Vesper sheathed his blade and continued redirecting their course.

The vision did not vanish this time, but continued to a different time. Vesper stood before Cid Fabool IX. He dropped to one knee and removed his cap, staring at the floor before the Regent's son.

"As you know… or you should by now… my father has passed. While you were on your voyage," Cid said, pacing back and forth. "And you're asking to be discharged from the navy? I would highly suggest against it."

"My captain is dead."

"But your crew is alive."

"My _comrades_… are alive, yes," Vesper corrected, raising his gaze to Cid.

"For the hours you sailed back with them, you were their acting Captain."

"I am no leader…"

"Only the best are so humble," he chuckled.

Vesper closed his eyes, trying to regain his patience with the new Regent. "Sir… Your Majesty…"

"Cid is fine," he said warmly.

"Your Majesty… I know nothing of leadership."

"Ah, yes, in your files it says all you know is blacksmithery. That is more than most of my official captains. All they know is how to yell and shout. My father was never articulate in choosing militia potentials."

"I'm not interested…"

"You handled the situation better than most. According to your 'comrades' you waited until a small ceasefire and left a pointless battlefield."

"How is that village?" he interjected.

Cid appeared grave. "Their defenses are very low. They have little they can live off of for at least five years."

"Shouldn't we focus on helping them instead of appointing militia?"

He chuckled. "My poor boy. Would you accept help from a country that declared war on you? They won't trust us for a very long time. It's best to let native countries build themselves back up…"

"But—"

"No. Interference will only distance us from them. Leave it be."

Vesper looked down.

"But you can become the captain of my naval force to make up for your blunder."

He gasped and glared up at him. "I just said NO!" The Regent quirked an eyebrow which caused Vesper to choke down his bitterness. "Are you… coercing me?"

"Maybe," Cid grinned.

"Why?"

"I want you in my militia. That is all. Captain Vesper Evans. It even has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" Cid glanced off to the distance and mouthed it over again.

"You're in way over your head here. I'm not doing it." He rose to his feet and walked over to him.

"I'm the Regent. I could make it a royal command."

Vesper went pale. Regent Cid walked to his desk and wrote down the 'royal request'. He smirked up to Vesper who bit his lip as the Regent signed it. "There. Now you're the Captain of the Royal Naval Force of Lindblum. Congratulations!" He forcibly shook Vesper's hand and shooed him out of the office.

Vesper bit down curses the whole way. Eventually he gave up and left to his barracks. He just wanted to sleep…

_**~FFIX~ Tears of Rejuvenation~**_

Julian took deep, railing breaths as he tried to choke up liquid that sped up his throat. The sickness hit him so suddenly it knocked him to his knees. Pain bristled through his back and extended out through his limbs. Without warning, fire chased after the pain until he lost all balance and coordination, stumbling into the wall beside his sister. And then the highest noise he had ever heard blared into his ears until he could no longer hear himself scream.

Silence became Shangri la as noise ceased, leaving him in a dull, granite room with heavy tools laden upon hooks that dangled from wooden boards around the room. A quiet fire ticked lightly in the corner. Julian watched it with wide eyes and backed away quickly. He hated this room. Hated everything about it. Especially that blaze… He shuddered and turned away only to see a young boy with black hair staring at him. For a moment this made him take a step back. He would not mistake his own childhood identity. Why was he staring at a younger self?

The boy investigated the room and then checked the doorway to the shop, making sure that there was no one watching him. He then took his father's metal hammer into both hands as he approached the table beside Julian. At once Julian tried to wrap an arm around the boy to keep him from moving forward. But, as always, something that has transpired cannot be undone.

He walked through Julian and toward the fire. Grabbing a hot metal slab that rested on the hearth, he set it down onto the table. Hoisting the hammer above the metal, he brought it down hard on the table, but lost his balance and hit the table itself. His grip loosened on the metal rod which then soared into the air, smacking him in the face and sending embers into his eyes. A long, red line splotched his cheek from the base of his jaw to the corner of his eye where the bridge of his nose began.

Whimpering and crying issued between screams as he clutched his face, moving about the room simply to quell the pain. He blindly stumbled back into the hearth. The back of his shirt scorched with fire which drew out a piercing yell.

"Julian!?" Came a concerned shout from the doorway. Seconds later, his father was dowsing the fire with a water spell and then stripping the melted cloth from his burned skin. He hushed his injured son and expertly healed him within minutes before letting out a long sigh. "Why did you come in here without my supervision? This isn't a playground…"

Young Julian sniffled and nuzzled his father's leg, drying his tears on his trousers. Vesper decided to end the scolding by patting his head. At least he found him in time. Young Julian blinked and saw several silver sparks in his vision that ceased to go away. No matter how many times he opened and closed his eyes, there were spots distorting his peripheral vision.

Older Julian looked to his younger counterpart and shook his head. The silver specks remained even after all these years. It was a punishment. It didn't bother him until now. The Embers burned the lens of his eyes back then. His father didn't need to know.

"I just wanted to be like you, daddy," younger Julian whimpered between sniffles.

"You want to be a blacksmith?"

He turned to look up at him, his eyes and face red and still healing from the burns. "You're always talking to Ember. I want to talk too. I want to learn how to weld!"

Vesper shook his head. "We'll discuss that at a later time…" His gaze followed to the fire. He doubted Julian would ever go near that hearth again. And he was right. Since that day Julian avoided that place.

Though he felt bad. Something had happened. Though he failed to recall… Something to do with Terra… What was it?

He clutched his head trying to remember. He had protected her, right? She was okay, wasn't she? Terra was… dead…

He gasped as if he hadn't been breathing for the past minute. He failed… and he had been the one… It all came back to him like a blast-driven nightmare. He slew his little sister… Why had he done such a thing? After all the promises…

A light chuckle brightened the darkness he'd surrounded himself in. A dark, beckoning chuckle that gripped all of Julian's focus. He turned only to see the one who had brought him his orders. "My Queen…" he spoke before he could stop himself and dropped to one knee as if commanded like a puppy. What was going on? Why couldn't he control himself?

His eyes stayed to her bare feet and he waited like a statue as she approached. With long nails, she brushed the underside of his chin and drew up his gaze to look at her. "My poor little puppet… you realize what you've done…" she smirked, letting the venom of her words lather over her tone. "You've killed your sister. Isn't that wonderful? Now you are free from her imprisonment."

"I-imprisonment?" he choked, finally able to get the word out. "I'd no idea I was a prisoner of my family."

"Ah, but you are. All family becomes prisoner to their kin. It takes away all desires of the self and replaces it with longing and despair. You could hardly function when you lived with those Evans'. Now you needn't worry about your precious sister… or your brother."

He glared. "Where is Ferris?"

"My, my. What a tongue you have against your master. Good dogs can still be beaten." She smiled lavishly and backhanded him to the floor. He let out a yelp and rolled onto his stomach. He was not a fighter… he could not possibly win against this woman. Despite the fact she knew he lacked strength, she did nothing to hold back and delivered a solid blow to his chest, knocking the air from his lungs until he coughed uncontrollably. Sifting her hands through the roots of his hair, she grasped a fistful and yanked him to his knees. "Ferris…" she breathed lustrously against his cheek, planting a kiss on his skin, "is currently being treated." She trailed her tongue over his jawline and then threw him to the floor with a laugh.

He glared up at her and then his gaze softened until tears dripped down his cheeks. "I did fail. I could not…" he trailed off.

Ultimecia raised her hand and snapped her fingers, filling the room with fire around Julian as she turned to leave. He stared at the flames emptily and laid back on the ground as they ate at the darkness around them. With their light it still appeared he was in a void of nothingness. The air grew thick and heavy with heat that infiltrated his lungs. In his despair he refused to cough. Why live? He'd failed… He closed his eyes and voluntarily stopped breathing. This was best. Suicide should be enough to atone. Ferris… was okay, or so the witch had confirmed.

"_I don't like cowards…"_

"What?" he mouthed, opening his eyes to look around him.

"_And I'm not afraid of anything either… why are you so scared? Get up! Fight me!"_

Julian shook his head and closed his eyes again. Hallucinations had started.

"_Come on!" _A boot nicked him in the side. _"__Are you a man or aren't you!? Why are you so afraid?"_

"I'm not afraid!" He rolled onto his side, clutching where the boot hit. His injuries pulsed with the movement so he bit his lip to stop the pain.

"_Then stop acting like a child and FIGHT ME!__"_

The voice emanated from the fire about him. Flames billowed up before him as a woman with long, mahogany hair stepped through brandishing an ax. "We've been here before…" she stated, standing tall amongst the array. Her chestnut eyes examined Julian.

"We have?"

"Yes."

"What do you…" he trailed off as she smirked and lunged herself at him, drawing the ax back and preparing to swing it into his side.

"Fight!" she commanded.

Taking a step back, he raised his arm in just enough time to create a barrier before him which the ax bounced off of. Julian stumbled a little from the force but quickly regained his footing. "We don't have time for this, Lani!"

Lani laughed. "You said that too. Isn't it funny how cliché you can be with yourself sometimes?"

"You've got to get out of here! It's dangerous!" he ordered.

She quirked an eyebrow. "Really? What about you? How bad do you think those burns are?" She motioned with her ax to his chest.

He looked down to see his clothing had been charred to the skin.

Lani grinned. "You're going to die here? Wouldn't it be better if you could fight me for real again someday? I don't like losers who self-mutilate themselves just because of one mistake. It's stupid!"

Julian swallowed and looked to the flames about him.

"Now what are you going to do about them?"

He moved his arm over the fires which were extinguished under crystals of ice. As he looked back up to her, he heard the sound of cloth flapping in the wind and only stared blankly up at the room where his sister's body waited.

"Lani?" He shook his head and knelt to Terra. A shaky hand stroked the pale, cold cheek of the fallen girl. "What compelled me to do this to you?" His words came out through sobbed gasps.

Terra lay still. He thought she would just sit up and hug him, tell him it's alright. But that's what he tried not to expect of the dead. Though they looked like they would smile and tell you it's okay… their glass-eyed gazes would never move from the fixture they were set upon.

He looked to the crystal which glowed warmly before him. Just as Mateus entered the room to see Julian, he picked up the sword that lay inside his sister's chest. Carefully, he wiped it clean of blood.

"Finished?" Mateus asked with a look of skepticism.

"Yes, Master." Julian nodded, offering a bow.

Mateus smiled, looking down to the girl's form. "Kuja will not like it, but this is something I deemed necessary."

"Since when do you care about what others think?" Julian asked, trying to sound aloof. If there was any sign that something had changed, he did not want to make it apparent.

With a shake of his head, he said, "If I did not worry about what my comrades believe or think of my actions, then there would be more than just hell to pay if I made any kind of mistake. Fortunately, I am not a fool."

"Of course," Julian agreed, clutching the sword tighter. "But it makes you no less ignorant." With his trademark smile, he raised the sword.

"What do you mean?" Mateus demanded angrily.

Julian swung the sword down, slicing right through the orb before them. It went from a dull blue to a rich and then deeper violet at the seams of the cracks until it completely broke and then filled the room with ultraviolet light which spread out into tiny flares that resembled the night sky. They pulsated momentarily before gathering just above Terra, stitching back the shard first which hovered above her body and then fell to her side, and then focused on stitching her tissues back into one; layer by layer.

Mateus growled when he saw her hand twitch. "She's alive!?" He turned, wishing to see no more and stormed out of the room. Cries of injured soldiers made his path until they faded into small grunts from a distance.

Dropping to his knees, he clutched Terra's hand in his. The sword lay placidly on the ground between them, glowing a dark shade of purple. Slowly, the warmth returned to her hand and then she finally cracked her eyes open to look at Julian.

_**~FFIX~ Tears of Rejuvenation~**_

"Where are we going, mommy?" the boy asked, clutching my hand tighter as we walked.

I stared ahead at the light. "I'm… dead… right?"

"Yes…"

"Isn't it right… to leave limbo and continue on?"

He didn't answer and looked down with a pout. "Shouldn't we wait for daddy?"

I smiled. "Yeah, but he's going to take his sweet time… And make a grand entrance… like the narcissist he can be sometimes…" I rolled my eyes.

The boy stared up at me with a smile. "But we have to. We're family."

Something in his gaze made me feel nostalgic. He had his father's way of making me do what he wanted when I probably didn't want to. But that was the wonder to our relationship, I supposed.

I turned away and started back to the docks where we began and then stopped. A heavy pull tugged on my mind like a lingering, death weighted realization. Not something I could immediately understand or register, but that sinking feeling that one gets when one forgets an important detail that could be detrimental for that split second that it is realized.

"Mommy?" he tugged on my arm which felt heavy as stone. "What's wrong?"

"It's time…" I said blankly.

"What do you mean?"

Understanding of my own words I knelt down in front of him and stroked his hair. "Listen… everything is going to be alright…" I held him close. "I'll see you again. But you won't remember… okay?"

"Mommy? No. That's not okay! What do you mean I won't remember? Where are you going?" He clutched onto my sleeve, pulling and tugging. Tears appeared on his face as fast as he could smile.

"Shh… it's alright." I knew it. I was alive. And he could be too. But… as strange as it was… it was just as hard to explain life to the unborn as it was to explain death to the living especially when they're young. "We'll be together again… I promise. And you will get to live… and breathe. And smile. And laugh. And you'll FEEL it. It'll be something amazing. Something to look forward to. There's so much I want to show you. And teach you!" My excitement only bristled his fear.

He full out cried. Snot even dribbled down his nose as he embraced me around the neck. "Don't leave me!"

"I won't. You're coming with me."

"But you said I'd forget you, mommy! I don't wanna forget anything! I want us to be together! Don't leave!"

"But I want to live. Just as you should want to."

"Why? What's so important about living!?"

"It's not something… I can explain…" I said carefully. "You'll just have to find out on your own."

"NOOOOOOO!" He screamed, making me cringe.

Before I could give him any comfort, I could no longer feel him. I looked around and saw nothing. A purple light rose before me and I listlessly approached it, reaching my arm out. At once I was pulled forward and into the encompassing warmth. I knew he was still with me. There wasn't any possibility that I had left my unborn son behind.

I awoke to see the concerned, blood-stained face of Julian. I wanted to smile and hug him, but all I could do with the energy I had was grasp his hand. That was enough. We could stay like this for as long as he wanted. My hand rested gently on my abdomen. Yes, I hadn't left him behind…


	8. Mechanism of the Final Beast

_**A/N: I've finally completed it! I'm so happy and I hope you are too! A big thanks and many hugs to all my faithful readers and I truly hope this fanfic has brought you much joy in the sorrows of hard times and much entertainment in the humdrum mundane-ity of the daily grind. I don't know what this chapter may do to you or how you will feel at the end, but I did my best. Some of the story was forced out because I struggled with daily distractions. However, I just pushed through, sat down and wrote. I can now focus on my other fanfics or my original story I want to write which involve aliens able to wield the power of time; I've been planning it for years even before I found out about Dr. Who, so please don't jump to that conclusion yet. But this author's note isn't about my story, it's about Kuja's and Terra's. So without further ado, I present the last chapters of the trilogy Destined to Die: Tears of Rejuvenation!**_

* * *

"Julian…" I started, pausing as we walked through the winding hallways of the lower level.

"Yes?" He stopped and glanced back at me, keeping his head bowed. I noticed his voice was hesitant to answer me. Shaky. What was there to be afraid of? Or perhaps he felt shame… but why would he feel shame when there was nothing he had done wrong?

"Why did you… who did this to you? Why did you ally yourself with the Emperor?"

The tall, strong image of the man before me crumpled to a small child who had stolen a toy from a town shop. There was little left of the strength he once bore as he struggled to answer the simple question. He opened his mouth once and then closed it. Nervously licking his lips, he tried again. "A woman visited me… I was taking care of Ferris at the time of his sickness and I fainted in the hallway after leaving his room. My head was heavy with a… very seductive voice which seemed like it was whispering in my ear. I inclined my head up to sense a spell and then hit the floor before I knew what happened.

"When I came too, there was rubble at my feet and Ferris was curled in my arms. I looked about to see our home, Alexandria, engulfed in flames. Children lay dead on the streets while some huddled around their parents; all of them taking in the shock of it all. I never felt so… helpless. So numb. All I did was smile because it hurt too much to cry. I really, truly wanted to be stopped. But my mind was locked in the trance of that woman's voice which never ceased to mutter sweet promises of joy and eternal bliss. And I felt none of it and only followed the delusion I was given. It was comfortable. And then I found myself at the mercy of a great king. I ceased counting how many towns I leveled, how many children and men I'd decimated. All I wanted was blood and pain. Something to match the evil I felt around me. All there lay was a mental bliss in my confined soul."

"I'm happy you're back."

He turned to me. "What?"

"When we met again for the first time in years, I was scared. I didn't know what happened. Blaming myself was probably the best answer and the right one. I'm sorry this all happened to you."

He shook his head. "No. I gave in. My will was not strong enough to combat that woman." As he walked, I lagged behind and then pounced on his back, knocking him to the floor. "Wh-what? Terra… what are you?" And then my fingers found his ticklish sides. He couldn't squirm away fast enough. The sight was rather adorable. He huddled against the wall protecting his ribs. "D-don't tickle me…" he whined.

"You're still the same. I wasn't able to fight against that woman either. She still got the best of me. But we defeated her. You came back. You won! Isn't that enough for now?"

He stared momentarily and then laughed lightly like he used to. "But I—"

"You what? Is there something else you want to say? To me, your name is cleared."

He seemed hesitant and eventually his gaze dropped to the floor. "Never mind. I suppose you're right for now."

"As I recall, you've committed no sins against me. I'm alive and all is well." His morale needed to stay high. I needed his smile; his light. Thankfully, he beamed with that light and I felt born anew. I drank in his happiness and then stood. "We should get going. Is there anything else you know needs to be done?"

"Yes. We will have to split paths soon. There is something very important I should attend to."

"Okay. Best of luck to you, brother."

He gave a nod and walked ahead of me. His pace hastened to a run and I lost sight of him through the dimly lit corridor.

Recalling the path to the audience chamber, I walked the rest of the way to confront my last nemesis. Julian had given me the sword he used to slay me. It glowed a beautiful deep purple. I knew it was dripping with the energies of Ultimecia and Arbitrator. I was relieved; I no longer held the burden of judgment. The sword would act as my last act of judgment.

_**~FFIX~ Tears of Rejuvenation~**_

Emperor Mateus shifted the blue orb between his pale fingers, examining the many faces of each angle. He tilted his head in thought watching the swirling mass within and seeming quite unsure what to make of it. During his observations, a finely dressed soldier cautiously entered the room with a bow and approached the throne slowly; very aware of how precarious it was to disturb the Emperor at this time.

"Your Majesty," he addressed softly which did not startle Mateus one bit; the soldier appeared relieved and continued. "We have captured the knights of Alexandria, but they are still putting up quite the resistance. I am afraid they will not comply to—"

"I don't believe I recruited you for your assumptions, General Magestrait. If the amazons refuse to listen to you, then open their ears for them. With your experience, that should be easy enough."

General Magestrait let out a small sigh and bowed his head in accommodation. "Of course, Your Majesty. Anything less would be unacceptable," his voice quivered. It was difficult to fault him.

Alexandrian soldiers. So Mateus had resorted to capturing soldiers. Ones from my hometown. A wrath stirred inside me as I leaned against a pillar shaking. My heart pounded in my chest. I couldn't tell at that moment if it was anger or anxiety. All this became was another objective to take precedence over the fight between Mateus and I. Postponing it went against my desires. But I knew if the fight began, I would not be able to stop Mateus from leveling Mist Continent in the process. The fight would merely act as a distraction. I hated playing hero, especially when I felt more suited for martyrdom in hoping that I would not lose my life.

Kuja was no longer of right mind. No matter how I pictured it, I could not justify his behavior. Was there anything left to live for? I'd invested so much into our future that backing out seemed blasphemous. Would living yield me any merit? Or was it a runway to misery? Regardless of how I felt, I doubted fighting this last nemesis would automatically grant me victory. Mercy would not pardon my crimes against this unruly monarch.

Now was not the time to question fighting. Maybe if I gave everything my all, fate might be gentle in knowing what was best for my future. I stroked my abdomen in unease. He deserved life… even if the one who gave him to me now hated me.

"I know you're hiding there, Terra," came the sharp voice of Mateus. I jumped and did my best to stifle the pounding in my chest, which had just jolted even faster. "Come… we have things we must discuss," he said openly.

I pressed my back deeper into the wall, remembering the line of dead guards I passed on the way up the steps from the dungeon. It was too late to save the Alexandrian soldiers first. I had to put my faith in Julian that he would not leave them behind.

The heavy footfalls of Mateus drew nearer. My hand wrapped around the hilt of Julian's sword. "What kind of things…?" I said, almost crying the words. Breath heaved in and out of my chest. Why was I so afraid? I'd faced him once before… but I felt more fragile than ever. My hand rested on my stomach, telling me the answer to this obvious question.

"Many things. Literature. Politics. Arbitrators. Power. War." He stood on the opposing side of the pillar. "Many…" He stopped moving. "Many things," he whispered, his breath tickling my ear. My nails dug into the pillar and I turned, bringing my arm back to strike him in the face with my closed fist. Before I could deliver the blow, I flew into the wall behind me, back first. I let out a groan of pain when I connected and immediately, my hand flew to my stomach, trying to feel for the pulse of life.

In my panic, I hadn't noticed Mateus' approach. A small beating pressed beneath my fingers and I sighed in relief and then stood, staring nose to nose with my assailant. "Your fighting is weaker. You're afraid," Mateus grinned. "Good. As it should have been from the beginning!" He launched the back of his hand across my face. I turned away and blocked with my left arm which jolted in shock from the attack.

"I am not afraid…" I corrected, turning my arm to grab his forearm and pull him closer so that he was under _my _control.

He glowered. "Why do you persist? I can see the will to die etched in your eyes. But you continue to kick against the wall."

"It's a little hard to kick at it when it's behind me," I smirked, pulling his arm out and then popping my right fist against the outside of his elbow and continued pushing until I heard a satisfying snap. He roared in pain and threw me off toward the floor, gripping his now broken arm.

He silenced and muttered a healing spell. I turned away, wincing from the sound of bone replacement. When I turned my head back, I stared at the tip of a staff. "I will obliterate your head from your shoulders!" he bellowed.

The strangest compulsion came over me. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back. Death was so welcoming, almost like a beckoning child. What would happen if I lost? I tired of fighting… so much. But the will to live was a battle in itself. I kept trying to knock its knees out from under it and it kept standing. Just as I once again stood and was now glaring at Mateus. "What do you want from me?"

"I want your death, Arbitrator. Everything is ruined because of you! All I have left is this sliver of your power!" he snarled, holding up the blue crystal he had been examining.

"You used me. Isn't that what you wanted?"

"You were to be a fountain of limitless possibilities! You proved your worthiness when you cleansed Gaia, but failed when you disobeyed your master!"

"I am no one's slave!"

"Then why were you crafted but to be wielded by those in power? You willingly give Kuja this right."

I stepped back. "Because… at the time…" I looked down and calmed almost to sadness. "At that time… I loved him. I was created only for the purpose of cleansing this world. Nothing else. And you've wasted your time in haunting my dreams and chasing rumors of a story."

At that moment, I looked up just in time to see him chant soundlessly. The end of his staff glowed ominously and I dodged behind a pillar to avoid the blast, which showered granite at my feet and left a gaping hole in the floor where I had once been. He rounded the corner, ready to strike again. I reached for Julian's sword, but knew it was too late. I had lost.

I winced as I felt the heat of the blast wash over me, felt every precursor to the attack and waited for its painful fold. A scream of pain filled my ears and the heat singed my forehead as a weight fell on top of me. I thought my insides had crumbled inside my body. Opening my eyes weakly, my vision was obscured by strands of white hair.

Gasping, I gripped at the body that covered mine and felt around until I found a pool of hot liquid. My hand submerged in the substance and I quickly pulled it into view. Blood. My hand was gloved in the deep crimson of blood. I paled and looked to the man who rested against my chest, breathing labored through distinct tears in his clear, blue eyes.

He lifted his gaze and smiled slowly. "I'm sorry…" he coughed and then placidly laid his head back down, closing his eyes.

The shock fed my burning wrath, but I had no energy to fight. He was dead. I didn't want revenge. The emotion pushed at me, forcing me to take it in even when I tried to spit it out. I had no energy to resist. Just like the fiends, I was overcome. I would become a monster myself, bent on the revenge of my lost love. His last act was an apology. How could I have been so disgustingly bitter? HOW? I had allowed this man to know me and I treated him with suspicion. I wanted to claw at my flesh until all the anger was gone. I wanted myself to pay. I wanted to wring out every thought and feeling I ever had for him. My actions justified nothing. I did not deserve something I so readily fled. Redemption did not deserve to fall upon my sins.

I rolled Kuja to the floor in front of me and stood, walking toward Mateus slowly. "You… you killed my love…" I muttered quietly, stepping forward until I leaned against him. I pulled the blade from its sheath and didn't even look down as I pushed it through Mateus's body, slicing from his side to his naval.

A yell of pain filled my ears, but it all sounded like the pulsing of an enraged animal to me. His face contorted in anger and pain. He gripped my hand with his strong, metal gauntlets and pulled the blade deeper. "You think that hurts?" he chuckled.

I tried to pull my hand back, but he held it still. "I am the god of heaven and hell! Even if I die, I shall rule over ALL! Even you, little Terra. Even you!" Raising his fist, he threw it into my cheek hard which sent me to the floor. The monster in my gut roared with my scream. Rage continued to pulse until the pain felt like nothing but a scratch. I rose shakily and glared at him as intensely as the monster of revenge charged through my body. Taking one step forward, I raised my arms, feeling the familiar cold of my staff fill my empty palms. Metal clinked as my nails ground against the pole. Drawing it down, I positioned it in a death stance. I never felt so strong in this stance. Power filled my lungs, my heart, and even my head. Blood rammed through my veins but still could not please the beast.

More. I needed more. My body thirsted for this rush. I waited with my arms outstretched, calling for order in my uncontrolled rhythms. No order would be made. Power fed on chaos and chaos begat change, which would affect every party whom no decisive will was made.

The beast of revenge gnawed at the edges of my mind. Show him no mercy, it willed. My hands shifted on their own, and my feet shuffled forward into a clean attack.

Before I could connect, the attack was parried with Mateus' staff. Immediately, I turned, stepping forward until I was behind him. With a sharp cry, I pierced his back with the sharpened tip of my staff. My hands shook at the effort. This weapon was not meant for piercing. But blunt trauma was not what I wished for. I wanted an unclean cut. Something that would never heal despite how many spells were uttered or how many bandages and surgeries attempted.

It went through, and I wasted no time in slicing upward. He screamed and tried to dislodge himself and almost succeeded. The beast lunged forward into my hands and tackled him to the ground, pushing the staff deeper then, into his back. Blood pooled around him and then the beast was forced out by shock. I quickly removed the staff as splatters of blood came out in coughs. My hands moved quickly. Why had I done this? The pathetic sight of him called mercy from me. My hands worked shakily, trying to gather and keep the blood within him. Strands of white issued from my hands as I conjured a healing spell. The beast fled from my fear and instead left me alone with my sin.

The seams of his back sewed shut and his breathing slowed, but he was not conscious. I felt a weak pulse when I touched his neck. There had to be an alternative. But if he recovered, I knew he would haunt me for revenge of whatever state he was put in. Could not criminals be placed in cells and not bother the masses again? Wasn't that the right way? But I desired his death, or rather, his ejection from my world. I looked to the sword lying beside him, bathed in his blood.

Time doused its sharp edges. I knew nothing of time. Only that its mechanisms were dangerous and held much discord. During my stay with Ultimecia, I'd learned nothing of her abilities mostly because she used them with such frightening cruelty. But what I did know is that there might be a chance with this sword. Turning it in my hands, the color shimmered until it turned black. I gripped the hilt, feeling a presence forcing its way into the back of my mind.

The presence was coaxing and polite, not something I had expected from darkness. It brushed my thoughts, gently prodding them. The invasion should have scared me, but I was calm. Maybe I'd become apathetic. After all, Kuja was dead and Mateus was walking that same path. "I want this creature exiled from my time…" the words came fluidly. That was the best coarse of action.

A shudder rang through the sword. My imagination persisted that it was laughing at me. I pressed the metal against his back. At once, the darkness enveloped him like cords, tying around his neck, arms and ankles and then spread over him until he was completely bathed in the substance. The form compressed and then dispersed in waves of light as a final farewell.

I breathed a sigh, dropping the black weapon to the floor and crawled over to Kuja's body. The color had drained from his face, but the limbs were still soft and pliable. As a little child, I lay beside him and curled up in his arms, wrapping them around me and burying my face in his chest like I used to.

Lying like this brought back memories. The only things I would have left. I was unaware of the passing of time. Fatigue, hunger, and warmth did not matter in the realm I rested in. I pushed away the reality that I was in the arms of a dead man. I did not want to feel the blame yet. In a different reality, if I had simply listened to him, let him come with me, we could have devised a way to defeat this enemy together. Successfully. We could have achieved the same end so much easier. Why did I always feel the need to trust no one to help me in these situations? The more I thought about this, the more I buried myself against him, taking in his scent. By my own illusions, he remained warm and alive. As long as I stayed here, I could easily believe we would wake up together.

Our last moments were of a fight. We behaved so differently. Believed so differently. Two spectrums on an opposite scale. Why did we oppose each other so well? Isn't that what we always had done? Challenge after challenge, but this was different. We had our fights; our arguments… but nothing like this. Why did it seem like he would kill me?

Questions. There was always so many. Why this and why that. It never ceased. There was a time in which I wished for all my thoughts to cease completely. My mind had a need to justify everything. To this effect, I felt a constant sickness. But maybe I wasn't the only one questioning these events. Perhaps millions of others had also gone through this. What I wouldn't give for their council. My life stretched before me, but my lover's had ended. What should I do with myself? Would he want me by his side forever? I would do it so easily. Giving up when alone. Maybe he'd meet me at death's door and we could walk together to an unknown future where perhaps a life after this was easier lived. I imagined what we would be like. Would I be apologetic? Would he be forgiving? Would we laugh and then cry and embrace each other? Or would he hold a defining grudge against me? I let my imagination have the luxury of a happy meeting.

Opening my eyes, I looked up to him, picturing his smile as I did so. I traced my fingers through his tousled, silver hair, admiring the perfect feather texture that met my touch. I brought a strand to my lips and kissed it.

I then traced the curvature of his lips, admiring how he used to kiss me, longing for that feeling again. The desire strengthened and my lips neared his, but I halted. Would this action make me obsessed and explore the possibilities of necromancy? Would I become obsessed by necrophilia? Did I lust for him? No, I had proven this wrong before.

Dismissing these ideals, I neared closer and touched his lips with mine only to draw back immediately as a spark physically shocked me. "Ow!" I gasped, touching my lips. How could he still have an electric charge? His heart had stopped beating. As I fathomed this possibility, he shifted, touching his lips also.

"That's a rude way to awaken someone," he mumbled, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "I expected something more pleasant…"

My heart stopped beating; I could feel it. My head felt fuzzy for a moment and I barely recalled when I had thrown myself in his arms and started crying, acting like a child again.

He winced and pulled me into his lap as he sat up. His hands stroked my back and he tried to hush my tears with light kisses on my cheek. "Hush, Terra. It is all right."

I tried to stop crying. Each time I tried to speak, I gasped in emotional agony and gripped my hands tighter against his shirt. My energy slowly died down too. For the first time since I had come here, my thoughts were quiet. The peace was a warm welcome.

Barely awake, I looked to him, solidifying the fact that this wasn't my imagination again. The curve of his smile could not be mistaken. It wasn't something I could copy mentally. The smile widened and I met his smile, knowing that it probably looked silly on my tear-streaked face.

He traced my cheek with his hand. "This should be a lesson to you. You will not run from me again, otherwise you pay a high price for my return."

"You shouldn't joke with me like that…" I mumbled, looking down as my smile faded.

"I wasn't joking. You are mine and if you run away again, you will feel the consequence." He lifted my chin and put his lips against mine, breathing over them. I shuddered and he spoke against them, "The consequence won't be so pleasant for your pride." I nodded slowly and kissed into his lips, shaky with want. He pulled away before I could really connect and glared at me. "Do you understand?"

"Not run from you again…" I stated. "But you love the thrill of the hunt," I grinned.

"It has been a very enticing factor, yes. But," he lowered his lips to my ear. "Do you have the capacity to keep up speed from my grasp?"

"Are you challenging me?" I looked to him skeptically. His answer was a chuckle. "Accepted."

"Later," he said and kissed me once on the lips. As he stood, he pulled me to my feet. I hung on for a moment and then stood on my own, forcing the aching in my legs to calm. He looked around the audience chamber and quickly found the exit. "Let's go. There is nothing of importance here."

As he started to move, I stopped him with a tug of his sleeve. "Alexandrian soldiers have been captured and brought here."

"Then it is safe to assume that Mateus was going to declare war on Alexandria. He was always extremely hungry for power. Moreso than even I. It seems that he sought to weaken the armies and then force an attack against the kingdom with its own knights."

I nodded. "Indeed. I hope Julian has figured out what to do. We parted ways a while ago. He apparently knew what was going on. Mateus used him to… bring me here."

Kuja nodded. "That sounds about right… Mateus is a fan of family crisis. But I doubt he was able to do all of this by himself."

"No. Ultimecia had a hand in it. Her last threat was fulfilled. Julian is the one closest to me. Therefore, he was the one to betray me. However, things are set right again between us. Mateus is…"

"I saw it…" he admitted.

"Then why didn't you do anything?" I rounded on him with a glare.

"My body was completely drained." He placed two fingers on his lips. "That nice shock you gave me really did wake me up."

"You fell asleep?"

"I was unconscious for a while. I did wake up in time to see you deliver Mateus into another time. Well done, my dear."

"It would have been nice to have a reassurance, you know…"

"And what fun would that be?"

"Dammit, Kuja! You never change!" My fist barreled toward his face. Unsurprisingly, he caught the attack.

"I could say the same in turn," he laughed. He turned my hand and then locked my fingers between his, pulling me along as we walked. Without question, I followed. "Your brother Julian has committed a heavy crime against the Dragons. Duress."

"What do you think will happen to him?"

"By law, he must atone for his crimes. Will he run?"

"He's never been one to shelve his wrongs."

"Depending on which kingdom sentences him, he may never see freedom again. Even if he was not of sound mind when it happened."

"Who would judge him?"

"The Moogle Council."

"Moogle Council? They have something like that?"

"Yes. Since they are in an alliance with the Dragons, they will take precedence in deciding a punishment for Julian. It is far better than handing him over to the Dragons. They would probably do far worse than the Moogles."

"Indeed. Though I had no idea that the Moogles had organized themselves."

"Ah, yes. They have been around for millennia. They are even more organized than humans. When the Summoners were still around, they were allied with them. If individual moogles wanted to ally themselves with warring races, they would be negated in affiliation with the overall race. They have been known as the peacekeepers of Gaia for centuries. Deep involvement in warring countries has ceased in recent centuries because of proclaimed biases. They may act as mediators when asked. Though many nations have forgotten their role. Out of boredom and tradition, they've taken up communications as their primary way of life. Any document delivered between them is essentially given up willingly to any human."

We walked through the doors behind the throne only to see multitudes of soldiers rising up against their captors. Julian headed the rebellion. Alexandrian soldiers attacked synchronously against their oppressors. It was easy to see who would be the victor. Mateus didn't stand a chance even with the small army he managed to accumulate. Battle cries ricocheted off the walls of the enclosed forgery. Julian caught my eye and waved pleasantly. I shook my head and smiled, returning the wave.

"It seems he has everything under control."

Kuja nodded and then led the way back into the audience chamber. "We must return to Lindblum Grand Castle. I'm sure you understand why."

"To report to Queen Garnet what Mateus has done."

"And to report to Regent Cid what your brother has done."

I sighed. "I never found Ferris. Mateus refused to divulge his location."

Kuja nodded in understanding. "So we're looking for a sick child, are we?"

"I suppose. Wouldn't Mateus keep him under strict care?"

"Unless he didn't have him to begin with."

"Conveniently…" I murmured.

"No, what I mean is, he lied or made you believe he had him as leverage."

"So he's not here… at all."

"It is a possibility."

Closing my eyes, I continued onward, following Kuja with each anticipant footstep. "By the way, Kuja," I started, walking beside him. "I'm pregnant. And it's your fault. So when we get home, I'm going to show you my appreciation," I said, not looking at him.

He stopped and I could feel him staring. I glanced back to see him leaning his hand on his waist. "Is that right?" he asked with a smirk. "I'd like to see that appreciation."

It took some restraint to retaliate. If I did, it might give away what I was planning. He joined me again and we eventually left the castle. A large dragon waited outside.

"Where did that come from?" I asked.

"When I said Dragon Duress, this is what I meant. The Dragon's were forced to lead you here as well as me."

The beast roared in acknowledgement and ruffled its transparent wings. Its body was green and the undersides of its wings were a pale gold. Kuja bravely approached the beast and stroked its head. I was drawn toward the two and stood within arm's reach of Kuja. He turned and smirked. "Still as defenseless against my power as usual."

I gave him a sour look and turned to walk away. A hand gently grabbed my wrist and I jerked into his arms. "Where do you think you're going."

"I hate heights."

"That's a lie," he whispered. "Are you afraid of nostalgia?"

"We're not going to get sucked into a sand vortex, are we?"

"If you really want to be crying out in pleasure, yes. However, we have more important things to do." My face reddened from his statement and he chuckled. "It's so easy to get you to do that. It always has been."

I let out a small, inaudible sigh, turning my head away in spite. "If you really want to have a competition of how easy it is to get the other to blush, then I can compete with that, you know. Especially when your back is at the mercy of my nails."

He turned away quickly, but I could see the reddening of his ears. I smiled and walked past him. Trailing a hand over the Dragon's back, I slowly climbed up and then rested between the ridges of its shoulders. "Are you coming or not? Am I going to have to pull you up?" I asked, smirking at Kuja. He shook his head and levitated to my level, sitting behind me. "Slow, aren't you?"

His voiceless response made me feel a little uneasy.

We rose in the air moments later and I soon lost sight of the castle altogether. This moment of freedom was the feeling I had longed for. The wind in my hair, the soft song of the melody on the air, the sight of a thousand miles ahead, the taste of adventure in the salty waves below and the protective hold of hands around my waist. I leaned back and stared up at him with a smile. This was my future.

The Angel of Death who spared my life and promised me love. All the thoughts of my unfortunate lot in life left instantaneously. Unlike most, I had survived a long adventure in the fight of my life. All of it led up to the deep appreciation of this point. One could say I'm obsessed with death, but that obsession goes hand in hand with the avoidance of the risk associated with such fate. There is no more reason for me to chase that obsession or run from it.


	9. Epilogue

_**~Epilogue~**_

Julian raced after the purple moogle that flew so effortlessly ahead of him. A brown, laden bag filled with letters hung against his side. "Sir Artemicion, you really are too fast for me!" he cried, breaths heaving from his chest.

The purple moogle paused in flight and glanced back. "And they say I'm slow with deliveries. You're not getting anywhere anytime fast."

"Of course not, sir. I don't have wings like you. I must take the foot trails. You have access anywhere," he said, running a hand through his hair.

Facing away, Artemicion shrugged. "That's nice. Keep up. Next delivery is due in ten minutes!" He started off without waiting.

"Ack!" He jumped into a run. "Where are we going exactly?"

"Dali."

"How are we going to get there in time from Alexandria?" he asked, exasperated.

"I have wings. You figure it out!" he squawked, flying faster.

"Wait! Sir Artemicion!" Julian called, raising an arm and chasing him. He paused and glanced back as they left Alexandria. The kingdom had grown quite a bit since he'd seen it. The second reconstruction yielded finer knowledge of architecture. Maybe some good came from the past…

_**~FFIX~**_

Ferris held the hammer nervously, narrowing his eyes at the sword before him. He took a breath in and then brought the hammer down in a heavy clank against the metal.

"That's fine, Ferris," Ember said in approval. "Try to relax your shoulders. I'm surprised that you didn't learn that from Julian."

"He's not a very good teacher in the art of forging."

"I didn't think so either," he chuckled, leaning back in a chair and turning a page in the book he held. He wanted to ask him how he found his way home from Treno. After Julian had left with him, he hid him in the city of thieves and nobles to protect him from Mateus. Some great forethought he didn't expect from his little brother. Ferris had been taken care of by Lady Stella and he wondered how Ferris could have put up with the termagant. He had been safe all along and paid off to protect his whereabouts. Though sometime after they'd found Terra, he had regained strength.

Lady Stella proclaimed it must have been her healing rituals that rejuvenated him. Ember seriously doubted that was the case. Upon question, Ferris remembered a burning in his skin where the Cadmium had affected him. And then his whole body had set aflame. He awoke from a dream crying in agony. When he looked down, the scars were eaten away by fire. He rose from his bed and escaped the Stella manor. Then he trekked slowly home for days.

In waiting for everyone to come back, he'd perfected the art of forgery. However, he still acted nervously in front of Ember when he practiced. This made Ember laugh. Though he would never tell Ferris, that he surpassed him in the art.

A light knock on the door tore Ember from his book. He pulled the glasses from off his face and stood, glaring at the door. He and Ferris had moved their shop to Lindblum where the business boomed with aspiring knights and rogues to purchase Evans' weapons.

A young woman with long, auburn hair stood in the doorway. "Hello there. I'm looking for a new weapon," she said confidently, brushing a strand of hair from her eyes. The rest of which was tied back in a long ponytail.

Ferris put the hammer down and walked over. "We have quite the array of weapons, Miss," Ferris smiled, motioning to the walls.

Standing from his chair, Ember stared for a moment, looking the newcomer up and down. She was trained to wield a broadsword. He could tell in her posture and the calluses on her palms. An eye patch draped over one of her hazel eyes. She was a thief in the making. He watched her carefully as she examined the wall of steel.

Ferris presented piece after piece to her, hoping to make a good sale. All the while, the woman asked question after question. Her hands trailed over the hilt of a very unique blade; one that Ember made recently. It was designed flat like normal blades at the tip and then the metal twisted like a corer in the center. In practicality, it was meant to obliterate the insides of the victim and cause a wound wide enough not to be sewn shut.

She admired the craftsmanship and originality. "How much for this one?" she inquired. Her hand dropped to her side. Ember kept a good watch on her movements by pretending to examine the way some of the swords hung on the wall.

"That one sells for 8100 gil," Ferris answered cheerily. "It's a prototype; there's none other like it."

"8100 is quite the high price…" she mused aloud, tapping a finger on her chin. "I don't believe I have that much. But…" She pulled a flintlock from her side and aimed it calmly at Ferris. "You'll give me a discount, 'kay?" she demanded with a too happy grin on her face.

Ember pointed his rapier at her throat. "Drop it," he ordered, eyeing the flintlock. He had scarcely seen a weapon powered like a cannon in such a small form, but he knew the capabilities well enough.

She laughed a little. "You think you can cut my throat before I pull the trigger? I'm sure you value your friend very much, sir."

The gun lifted from her hands as Deryo snatched it up from above. "Ooh, it looks very unique," he beamed, eyeing the new find.

Turning up to look at the boy, the woman stumbled back on her butt. Deryo sat cross-legged, upside-down on the ceiling as if he sat on the floor. He had been in deep meditation when the ruckus awoke him.

"Ember tapped her neck with the rapier. "Women cannot be trusted no matter what form they appear in."

"Is that so, good sir?" she asked. "You are a man of good judgment." She closed her eyes. "Those children didn't lie when they said you're the best." Placing a hand on her knee, she rose to her feet, careful to not scratch herself against the sharp edge of his blade.

"Children?" Ferris inquired sharply.

"Three of them," she smiled.

Deryo laughed. "Oh, you know them!" Ember and Ferris looked to Deryo for an explanation.

Before he could answer, Autumn, Elario and Hana stood in the threshold.

Autumn stood tall amongst her friends. Her hazel eyes darting intelligently through the room and her hair had grown longer. She had become a Lady at the age of seventeen and was currently engaged to a noble in Treno.

Elario stood a little shorter than Autumn at the age of thirteen. His masculine features were starting to outline his face beneath a herald's hat. He was obviously in training to be a noble. Deryo hardly doubted his ability to amplify his voice; he had trained him to be strong.

Hana stood a little farther back from the two at fifteen years old. Her hair still remained short and her amber eyes piercing. Currently, she trained directly under Beatrix in Alexandria. Silver armor adorned her petite figure beneath the kingdom colors.

The reunion was by no means quiet. Ferris and Deryo busied themselves with catching up with the children. Ember set his gaze on the woman. "Why did you come bearing arms?" he demanded, grabbing her by the arm and pulling her away from the commotion.

"I was looking for someone strong enough to fight. Those kids told me about an Ember Evans. As I searched the land, I heard many rumors of you, Great Knight who drew the blood of Taurus. Orion!" She ripped her arm away.

"Don't tell me you're a fanatic…" he grumbled.

"And if I am?" she threatened, placing her hands on her hips.

He sheathed his rapier. "Then I'll kill you," he glared.

She grinned. "I'd like to see that, kiddo. I could probably bathe the entire store with your fluids."

He raised an eyebrow. "A woman who carries a hand-cannon will draw none of my blood."

She raised the gun. "I've killed many a man with this. And it is called a flintlock, you amateur."

"Ameteur?" A vein pulsed in his temple. "Alright, you shrew, if you really want a fight, then I'll give you death."

The woman grinned. "Sounds fair. The children promised that."

"What's your name so I can carve it on your gravestone?" he taunted.

"Amber Strife."

"What a weak name for a rogue to carry."

"That's what you think…" She pulled the hammer back on the flintlock and aimed at his head.

"Now, now, you two," Deryo said walking over and placing a hand on each of their shoulders. "Violence is not among allies. If you two don't stop, I might have to start a wedding ceremony for the old couple arguments to resume."

"Allies?" Amber shrieked. "I'd never be so stupid as so ally myself with such idiocy!"

"Couple?" Ember boomed. "You think I like this termagant?"

Deryo grinned. "Oy, Ferris, you up for a wedding?" he called.

Ferris glanced over with a harsh look about him. "Yeah, why not? Could use a little celebration."

"Haha! Awesome! I finally get to use the matrimony prayer I learned from training!" his eyes glinted warmly as he placed his hands together and started chanting.

Both Ember and Amber's eyes widened in horror. At once, Deryo was on the ground, gun and rapier pointed at his throat. He looked too baffled to speak, but it might have been the force at which his head hit the floor. "Ow… okay… okay… Just kidding! Get off!" he cried.

The two of them stood, still pointing their weapons. Once he proclaimed peace, they looked back to one another, weapons still drawn. "Husband and wife! Kiss!" He scrambled away but didn't get far.

_**~FFIX~ **_

Fields of green stretched for miles across what was once desert. Flowers sprouted in clusters along the rich, warm fields. The mountain of Desert Palace had been changed with magic to accommodate a village that was steadily growing as travelers ventured to the northern lands.

A young boy with blond hair and red eyes stomped through the grassy plain as he explored his new kingdom. He looked out toward the distant ocean and giggled, turning as he pointed. "Blue!" he shouted with joy.

I smiled and walked over, scooping him into my arms. He giggled and hugged me around my neck as we walked back to the castle that towered over the flourishing village.

Upon reaching the castle, I took him inside where his father was currently in conference with an Ambassador from Lindblum. Such niceties were necessary despite our good terms with Regent Cid. Unfortunately for Kuja, the Ambassador was none other than Eiko Carol; someone in which held the man in strict disregard.

"And I don't want any funny business from you, Mister!" she admonished, pointing a finger at him.

"Miss Eiko… that is quite enough. He won't cause any trouble."

"Terra!" she beamed, rushing over. At fifteen years old, Eiko was slowly turning into the respectable lady. Though the mouth she had got her both in and out of trouble. Trouble being mostly suitors that graced Lindblum every so often. She was of proper age now. I was hugged carefully as I held my son in my arms.

"Keeping my husband in line, are you? Less work for me," I laughed.

Eiko giggled. "You need a break now and then, Your Majesty."

"Don't be formal. We're friends."

"Blue!" Sven exclaimed, pointing to Eiko's hair. She laughed and shook his hand.

Moments later, the load was taken from my arms at that point, Eiko made a quick escape. I placed my hands on my hips and stared up at Sven who now clung to his father.

"He's cuter than you," I smiled, running a hand through the boy's shoulder-length blond hair that curled about his face.

"Probably," he pouted. "Guess he won today. I need to try harder."

"Hmm… I don't think you could out-cute a child."

"I could try," he grinned.

Reaching up to take Sven, I shook my head. "No competition."

He pulled him out of reach, causing Sven to squeal in excitement from the height. "Ah, ah. My turn with him. You've had him all morning. I get to have my fatherly influence time."

"Fatherly influence time? Fancy term for a shift. Don't you have a kingdom to rule?"

He glanced out of the corner of his eyes at me. "You're plenty enough to rule."

"Not quite. There's still a rebellion going on here…" I teased. "Think you're still able to best me?"

He licked his lips. "I'm sure I can. But I don't think you want another child anytime soon…"

"It's been three years," I blurted out. And then concluded with, "I'm perfectly fine with waiting." But he already caught what I had said. As he passed me, I felt the air of mischievousness around him. When I glanced back, he caught my eye with a smirk before rounding the corner and disappearing with Sven. I knew I was probably in for a challenge later.

_**~FFIX~ ~MayrisErin~ ~FFIX~ ~Destined to Die~ ~FFIX~ ~Flames of Rebirth~ ~FFIX~ ~Tears of Rejuvenation~ ~FFIX~  
**_

_**TT~T~TT~T~T H.-.-.-.-.H .-.-.-A.-.- N-.-.-.-N K.-.-.-.K- Y-.-.-.-.-.-Y .OOOOO U-.-.-.-.U  
**_

_**.-.-.-.T.-.-.-. H.-.-.-.-.H .-.-.A-.A.- N-N.-.-N K.-K.-.-.- -.-.-.Y-.-.-. O.-.-.-.O U-.-.-.-.U  
**_

_**.-.-.-.T.-.-.-. .H~HH~H .-.A~A~A- N.-.N.-.N K-.K-.-.- .-.-.-.Y-.-.-. O.-.-.-.O U-.-.-.-.U  
**_

_**.-.-.-.T.-.-.-. H.-.-.-.-.H A.-.-.-.-A N-.-.-.-N K-.-.-.K- -.-.-.Y-.-.-. .OOOOO. .UUUUUU**_


End file.
